Siblings sharing a double bed?

[Apennyforthem56]

Have DD4 and DS2.5. They get on well and in the same sleep pattern at present. DD4 is a dodgy sleeper and would certainly benefit from the presence of someone else in her bedroom. I remember in my childhood wanting to share a room with a sibling but not being allowed, as individual space and independence was thought to be important. Instead I spent many nights terrified and remain quite a pathetically scared adult at nighttime.

I’m considering buying a double bed for DC to sleep in but keeping a single bed in DS’s room for if they want their own space. Has anyone had children that bed share? Or did it as a child themselves? I just imagine it would be hugely comforting to them, but not sure if I’m projecting. Any glaringly obvious cons apart from when they’re ill and wake each other up?

Dd’s friends chose to all sleep in the same room. 3 of them. Opposite sex twins and a sibling. They’d clamber on the sofa together in a big heap too when watching tv. These days, they live very separate teen lives.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with getting a double bed for your dd to sleep in with her little brother - if that’s what he also wants to do. This will not make your children dependent. If anything, if done correctly and by meeting their individual needs makes them more independent as they grown.

If your ds doesn’t want to sleep with your dd, it is also fine for you to share the bed with her if that is what she needs right now. My dd slept in her bedroom alone until she was about 6/7 then she suddenly needed to sleep with me.

Please don’t listen to the that’s disgusting brigade. You are proposing to have a room in a separate bed so if you ds isn’t in agreement, he has his own bed and room with his personal space maintained.

And how strange is that double cot story. I know someone with twins and the boys would climb into each other’s cots as they got older and insisted on putting their cot beds together.

My DD and DS frequently shared a double bed on holidays at a similar age to your DC. It worked well because DD was a poor sleeper and slept better with someone else there.
When we got home we put them in the same room but it didn't work. DS usually went to bed earlier, and slept all night but he was harder to settle when they were together. So we left them in separate rooms and had to put up with broken nights til DD was 6.

But if they end up sleeping in the same bed would it always be your daughter getting in with your son, and would he be able/be confident enough to tell her ‘no’ if he didn’t want her in there?

I don’t have any issues with siblings sharing rooms (or beds!) if that’s what they want, but it does seem like this is solely for the benefit of your daughter.

@Apennyforthem56 Do it. They both have a choice about where to sleep.

two of my god children (G/B) bed shared every night. Single bed in each bedroom but they preferred to squish in together, a double bed would have been better, but they may have still chosen the single in his room as they much preferred his room (and the double would have only fit in hers). We thought they'd grow out of it during primary but they didn't. Puberty wasn't as issue. They're older teenagers now & don't bed share so often any more, but they're thoughtful of each other & quite often sprawled out on the settee together.

it felt a little weird at first & there were many attempts to get them to sleep in their own rooms, but they preferred to be together, so 💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️

What a pile of shit! Stop scaremongering.

It's interesting to read the different opinions and experiences. Have you asked your children if they'd like to sleep in the same bed? I personally think it's a good idea.

Well, you can believe what you like but this did happen. I did think it was ridiculous and nothing happened following it but it was reported to social work and a report prepared.

So, some people in authority do view it as a concern despite your rude assertions.

Thank you to all the wonderful posters who replied and have direct experience of children who bed/room share or did as children. Thank you to the majority who haven’t assumed I’ll be throwing my DS into DD’s bedroom and locking the door and telling him he has no autonomy. My DD has been asking for a long time if they can sleep in the same room/bed and I’ve been putting it off as not sure if it’s a good idea, hence this post. I imagine we would offer it to DS and if he was keen on it then fine, if he didn’t settle then back to his room he would go.

it does seem quite obvious to me that humans would want to sleep close to others and that it’s a bit strange not letting comfort be found in that, if that’s what a child wants.

I think sharing a room is fine (my b/g twins did that until 10 and they used to chat loads in bed after ignoring each other all day). I don't think a double bed is a good idea though as they might very well wake each other up. Also, you might not think it's weird (and I don't either) but honestly, some people will and this might be a problem at school. I'd get a high single with a pull out bed if you need the space.

I completely agree OP. All over the world other humans sleep together, it is natural to want to be near another human, especially when you are little. In India, Japan and S Asia families often sleep together.
I remember reading Germaine Greer talking about her time spent staying with a family in India, where the young boy in the family would come in to sleep with her, because he felt sorry for her sleeping all alone.
My eldest is 17 and still comes in with me if DH is away, or has her sister in with her sometimes during school holidays.

I completely agree OP. All over the world other humans sleep together, it is natural to want to be near another human, especially when you are little. In India, Japan and S Asia families often sleep together.

Indeed. But it’s pretty naive and I think a bit tone deaf to assume this often out of choice and wanting to be close and cosy and not, you know, circumstance and poverty.
If you expect your daughter and son to share a bed I think that’s only fair enough if you’re also happy to share with your in laws… only natural after all!

@BeanieTeen I'm struggling to see the link between siblings sharing a bed and sharing a bed with in-laws? Why would I share a bed with people 30-40 years my senior, who I see about three times a year and don’t particularly enjoy the company of? Compared to siblings of similar age, who play very well together and want to be close to one another. Where is the comparison? I doubt it’s ever been normal to bed share with in-laws but a historian or anthropologist might be along to enlighten us on that. I do think there’s a wealth of evidence of siblings sharing rooms or beds, whether that’s out of necessity or poverty isn’t relevant. In this scenario there is choice and as proven by many of the responses, lots of DC choose to do it, despite having separate bedrooms.