Siblings sharing a double bed?

[Apennyforthem56]

Have DD4 and DS2.5. They get on well and in the same sleep pattern at present. DD4 is a dodgy sleeper and would certainly benefit from the presence of someone else in her bedroom. I remember in my childhood wanting to share a room with a sibling but not being allowed, as individual space and independence was thought to be important. Instead I spent many nights terrified and remain quite a pathetically scared adult at nighttime.

I’m considering buying a double bed for DC to sleep in but keeping a single bed in DS’s room for if they want their own space. Has anyone had children that bed share? Or did it as a child themselves? I just imagine it would be hugely comforting to them, but not sure if I’m projecting. Any glaringly obvious cons apart from when they’re ill and wake each other up?

@Apennyforthem56 I think my hesitation stems from sharing a bed being a normal occurrence for children may lead one/them to feel that that is what the parents want. If anything untoward happens at least one child may feel it is OK because parents have allowed them to a shared room/bed. Not necessarily in their own home but elsewhere. It blurs the boundaries of privacy I suppose.

I don’t think privacy is something we should ever expect our children to ask for or request, it should be a given, they should not have to articulate it.

Unless BOTH children would actively benefit from this, I would not consider it.

Basically, don't move your son to make your daughter's life easier. It's your job to comfort her and make her feel secure, not his.

Bunks. While I don’t think a double bed at that age is “wrong”, I think your eldest will appreciate her own space sooner rather than later and you’ll need to change things around anyway

mine were both happy in bunks from the ages of approx 2&4 to 6&8

I think it’s fine OP, nice idea. My DD is nearly 4 sleeps in a double bed, one of us (DH or I) usually ends up in it with her so it makes it easier for all of us. My son is just 7 months but I’d be more than happy for them to snuggle together when he is old enough.

Reading the reactions with incredulity!
Of course it's not inappropriate at their ages! Jesus!
I'd get a double bed and put them together I think it's a lovely idea.
And your son is obviously not a therapy assistance...what is wrong with some people?!?

My ds and dd often ended up sleeping together in single beds and a pile of cuddly toys. I can see why a double bed would be preferable.

Thst said, an exit plan is advisable because eventually it won’t be preferable.

We have bunk beds with a double on the bottom and a single on the top. My kids 3 and 6 both girls sleep together on the bottom by choice. I presume the older one will move to the top bunk soon.

I have boy / girl twins. Boy had sleep issues and long story short after years of sleepless nights at the age of 4 I gave up and just put him in a double bed (with barrier) and I slept on the other side. After a while girl twin asked to join us as felt left out. I changed it to the twins slept together until about 8 when they started getting bigger and effected each other’s sleep.

Well I'd do it. We're a family of co-sleepers though and I don't understand why others think it's weird. Double in your little girls room so brother or you can sleep in if needs be. Single for your little boy on the nights where he wants/ needs space. What you're suggesting is perfectly fine to me!

I think sleeping arrangements should promote the best and longest nights sleep rather than independence at this age.

I think this is really overthinking it personally

I come from Asia where the vast majority of people bedshare with either siblings or parents. It's just the norm

They are 4 and 2. How's this inappropriate?

Push 2 single beds together and see how they get on. You could then Seperate them if needs be

It’s fine. Do whatever it takes so you all get a good night’s rest.

We have an IKEA Kura (mid level) bed in our youngest’s room. It’s quite low and we have an extra mattress on the floor under it and our eldest has quite regular sleepovers there. You could also look at a trolley bed that can come out when needed.

Unfuckingbelieveable

My nieces have this set up and they mostly chose to sleep in the same bed. They used to squash in a single together.

I have 2 sons and they have slept in a double together for about 3 years. They do have a bedroom each but prefer to be together. They are 8 and 6 now. When they are being really loud and annoying they get separated which is like a punishment for them! As long as they are sleeping better then I say go for it, it’s worth a try. When they started bed sharing they started sleeping all night, both were terrible sleepers before and I was exhausted. It works well for everyone in my house.

I shared a double with my mum, after dad left, for several years. I don’t see a problem. And they will have the choice not to share if they want.

They’re 4 and 2.5, get the double bed. As your DD gets older just make sure she’s still happy with the arrangement but as they have other options in another room can’t see an issue. Anyone thinking it’s inappropriate needs to give their heads a shake, they’re babies for goodness sake.

My girls are 7 and 3.5, they share a bed all the time by choice, we’re contemplating a double for them for a couple of years before getting bunk beds as they share a room anyway. They both sleep better in a bed together.

I've three kids. DD15, DD12 and DS10. They've always had double beds each and grew up sleeping in with each other. They're very close and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I cannot fathom why some people think a 2.5 year old would not be anything other than absolutely thrilled to share with his sister. Young children are categorically not evolutionarily adapted to sleep alone. It's only really since the second half of the 20th century in specific Western societies that we think it's a good thing. Kids are much happier and feel much safer sleeping alongside others, as the many, many generations that came before them did.

My older kids shared bunk beds with a trundle at that age - the little one slept on the trundle and the older one on the bottom. Often they both ended up in the trundle. By the time they stopped sharing they had progressed to the top and bottom bunk. DD was 10 and DS 8 when she decided she would prefer her own room. They still have a very good relationship aged 18 and 16. DS was diagnosed with ASD. We had very few of the sleeping problems characterised by the condition, and I do think sharing with his sister really helped.

I'm shocked at some of these replies. Makes me think that some of these posters are the type that would greet their mothers and fathers at Christmas with a good hearty handshake and an air kiss if one happens to be feeling a little emotional..

My 8 year old twins still share a bed ( a king size) when they were 5 we decorated another bedroom if we put them to bed separately we wake up to them together. They know there is another room if/when they are ready.

My two have a triple sleeper in there bedroom and there always on the double at the bottom together .... my youngest won't even sleep in a single and he's only 4 and wants his big bro with him..... until there not happy and want it changing its fine by me. There always making uo stories and pretending to be asleep and chattering away. It's great for them. I wouldn't have it any other way.

If you buy bunk beds, you could use them as singles squished together (bunks are usually narrower than singles) then put them as bunks later when your DC are older

I think sleeping in same room can suit a lot of kids (I shared with my sisters til I was 8 or so) but this would stop fights over duvet/both waking up if one wets bed or is sick etc