Siblings sharing a double bed?

[Apennyforthem56]

Have DD4 and DS2.5. They get on well and in the same sleep pattern at present. DD4 is a dodgy sleeper and would certainly benefit from the presence of someone else in her bedroom. I remember in my childhood wanting to share a room with a sibling but not being allowed, as individual space and independence was thought to be important. Instead I spent many nights terrified and remain quite a pathetically scared adult at nighttime.

I’m considering buying a double bed for DC to sleep in but keeping a single bed in DS’s room for if they want their own space. Has anyone had children that bed share? Or did it as a child themselves? I just imagine it would be hugely comforting to them, but not sure if I’m projecting. Any glaringly obvious cons apart from when they’re ill and wake each other up?

My two DDs aged 8 and 6 share a double bed though choice. There's another bed in the room, as well as another bedroom that's "theirs" so plenty of space. They just both enjoy it at the moment and I'm confident there are enough options for when they don't any more.

I don't think you need to overthink this too much and I'm sure in 3 years time things will change or move on again. Just cross that bridge when you come to it. Opposite sex is irrelevant at 2.5 and 4 for siblings imo.

Mine shared bedrooms (own beds though) and it was positive, both at the time and for their ongoing relationship after they stopped sharing.

Buy two singles though, and make the other room a play room with a day bed. You can change the arrangements in future. But sharing is nice for children.

What about when one wets the bed and instead of just one child to wash and change in the middle of the night, you have two? Not very fair or practical.
If your daughter isn't ready to sleep alone, I think you should be the one to be in with her. Maybe consider a 'queen sized' bed so that there's space for you to get in with her, but I think your son should get a bed to himself. He's not her comforter; you are.

The only drawback I can see of a double is if one of them wets the bed, then it will be harder to change as you’ll need to wake up both children most likely? How about two singles pushed together with two sets of bed linen? This will also stop one child stealing the duvet as each child will have their own Single one.

OP my 6 and 3 year old share a room and my 10 year old has his own room. They love sharing a room. If one goes to bed before the other they get upset. I recently bought them bunk beds but the top one is a mid sleeper height and the bottom quite low for the 3 year old. They cuddle up together though don’t actually generally sleep all night together bath get a lot of comfort from each other being in the same room and both sleep well. They are very close and enjoy being together. My eldest on the other hand hated sharing a room and due to his additional support needs prefers a quiet room to himself.

I would definitely put in one of those 'double + a single' arrangements, & turn the other room into a playroom.

They can share the bottom bit, then when they prefer one can go up aloft, then eventually one returns to the other bedroom, leaving sibling with a nice roomy double & storage/sleepover space above.

Ideally a modular unit where you could even subsequently move the bottom double elsewhere & swap in a desk below the top bunk, for the most flexibility.

My late teenage 3dc have accustomed themselves to assorted arrangements over the years - their current set up at my home (ridiculous overseas rented work perk, a bloated pile of a villa where one of them has their own self contained 2 bedroom annexe...) is very different from their bedrooms in their dad's house (2 sharing, one in a box room).

They often decide on a whim to share by choice still, however many rooms are available.

I think it's quite sweet, really. But if at all possible I'd want to future proof the options a bit. Not to mention lurgy proof it for when the inevitable school age bugs start coming home - you'd still want somewhere one dc can sleep separately whilst the other is honking up all over the bed at hourly intervals.

This is good to read as this will be our bed setup and age gap, and DD1 is desperate to share with DD2 when she's big enough.

We have 2 DS age 6 & 8, the 6 year old has a double bed and 8 year old a single in different rooms.
They mainly share the double bed but there is the option to split them up if they aren't getting on - or are getting on too well and not settling down to sleep.
I wouldn't like to not have the option of splitting them up as they do sometimes like and need their own space.
It'll more than likely change over the years with yours too, so be prepared to have the set up changed after a while if things don't work out.

I think you might be setting up an issue for later where one wants to have their own space and the other doesn't or you have issues with it but they struggle to be separated. And I am also going to mention sexualised behaviour as lots of this is sibling behaviour/exploration which many won't want to hear. It just seems to be a short term solution to one child's worries.

Bunk beds and then they can sleep together if they want and if not no problem.

I’ve got 2 DS’s and 1 DS, all close in age. We’ve got 3 bedrooms, and the plan was always for the girls to share and DS to go in on his own. But they insist on sharing on room. So they’ve got bunk beds - the girls top and tail in one and DS has the other, but more often than not I’ll check on them when I go to bed, and they are all in the bottom bunk together 🤷🏻‍♀️

I had a double bed in my twins room up to age 6 plus their own small beds. Half and half whether they woke up in it together. Took it out as they had more space to play.

My sibling and I had a king size bed which we shared growing up from a similar age. We thought nothing of it and other than normal occasional squabbles, have nothing more than happy memories growing up sharing a bed. Also had a separate room with single bed which one of us moved into when 11/12 years old (but had the option to split at anytime).

It is the norm in our culture to share beds as siblings until ready to split. I’ve known it to become an issue if teenagers (same sex ofc) are still made to share but that won’t be the case.

All those harping on about boy/girl siblings not sharing are talking nonsense for this age group. It is completely irrelevant when so young

I have DD4 and DS2. They have their own rooms but DD has bunk beds in her room. They have similar sleep patterns, and on a whim one night, we let DS sleep in the spare bunk for a 'sleepover'. He's never moved back out and this has led on to them sharing the same bottom bunk.

They don't need to do this, they have their own beds and rooms whenever they want; zero influence from me and DH (they asked for ages before I allowed them to give it a try) but they both sleep so well together and enjoy it. I expect in time one or both of them will want more space but until then we're happy to go along with it

Can you get a bunk with a double at the bottom, single on top and then you have options.
I think it's strange to think it's in appropriate, I think it's really cute.
They won't want to do it as they get older anyway.

My DH is part of a large family and had to share for a while with his younger brother who used to wet the bed.
Poor guy, bit grim.

I'd get a single bed and a second hand toddler bed. That way, there's more space in the room, they each have their own sleeping space and you can reassess in a couple of years when your DS has outgrown the toddler bed.

I don't think the double bed is a bad idea though. Most children don't like sleeping alone and our 4yo ends up in our bed most nights. One of their favourite things about going on holiday is sharing a room with us.

I love this!! They must be so close.
My nephew often comes for sleepovers and both mine plus him insist on all sleeping together in one bed. They have the best time

We have bunk beds but my two DS's always end up in together - it's very sweet!

I say go for it OP - not wierd at all. Ignore the wallys on here!

I know lots of people who are saying it is ridiculous to say it is inappropriate at their age but the reality is that for sleeping, we usually have our own personal space. Teaching children at a young age that personal space is not important could blur boundaries down the line.

Having separate beds just makes it clear that this is the norm whereas sharing bedrooms is fine.

Oh and I knew someone who had twins who shared a cot and they were referred to social services! Not sure if it was because of their age (and so it being inappropriate for them to be in a cot) or because they were opposite sex.

Get a Queen bed. Not quite a double so will take up less space but big enough for two children to share.

Not experienced this myself but my friend has two children of the opposite sex. Both kids have their own lovely bedrooms and both insisted on sleeping together in one room where the child had a double bed purely because they had a spare double before she was born. They did it until the eldest was around 9. Both children quite normal.

In your shoes I would just give them both the choice and if one says no you have to respect that and not impose it on them for the sake of the other.

Honestly as someone with two children who don't get on at all and even argue over who gets to use the bathroom first I have to say I'm quite envious.

I was told that I should put my twins together in a cot. I’m sure there was research somewhere that cot sharing between twins meant they regulated each other’s breathing or something.

And funnily enough, my son isn’t a therapy animal. They both have very different personalities. My DD has more complex needs and rituals to help her sleep that he doesn’t show any signs of (she did at the same age).

So he just need to accommodate and support her needs rather than having his own bed and space to sleep in??

I find it really odd that you'll sacrifice his peaceful nights sleep for hers. As a PP posted, if your daughter needs support to sleep it's her parents' job to provide that, not her brother's. Also sounds like you are projecting a lot of your own emotional crap.

@prescribingmum I’ve provided the opportunity for them to have their own space if they want it, and they choose to squish together 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 so they must be comfy and happy like that! I’m not going to rock the boat