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Parenting

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Original poster

Parents of children who play football matches on a Saturday morning

97 replies

gorillalala · 22/10/2022 12:34

Just a quick question to understand what other people do really :

Is it desired/expected/required to watch your child (who is 10) play for the whole match?

Or is it accepted for parents to leave their child there and pick them up afterwards?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SirChenjins · 24/10/2022 15:03

At 10 we (well, DH) stayed and watched. At 15 most parents disappear off and go shopping, walk the dog, that kind of thing, and maybe catch the last 15/20 minutes

Tallulasdancingshoes · 24/10/2022 15:07

Ds is 10 and most parents stay and watch. But parking is a nightmare because there are multiple pitches and you get blocked in. You can’t really get out very easily and then it’s hard getting back in, so pretty much everyone stays. Sometimes people car share though they not have that be parent watching.

travellingfamily · 24/10/2022 15:10

Eldest we rarely watch (he prefers it that way - we probably see 20 mins of the game). He is 14. Younger one we have to watch at training and at the match (U11, different club, parents required to watch up to age 14).

Personally I think it is a bit over the top needing to watch training once they are at secondary. I get the injury situation but you don’t watch at cubs or scouts which must have similar risks.

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woff45 · 24/10/2022 18:01

@AnnapurnaSanctuary I don't watch football either, but it's very different when your child is playing, I love watching him play (not train, that's boring ha). You wouldn't catch me dead watching a premiership match!

woff45 · 24/10/2022 18:04

And just to add it's not about love, but bonding, if you've got something else to bond with them over that's probably fine, but I see so many families segregate themselves by sex in this way, sadly I don't think it bothers most of the parents. I suppose because I have sons only I make a very deliberate effort with things like football because a) I have the time b) I'm not going to distance myself from them because we are different sexes, we will find common ground and I will make an effort in the things that interest them.

Kite22 · 24/10/2022 18:25

we have to watch at training and at the match (U11, different club, parents required to watch up to age 14

Weird.
That would have excluded many (most?) of the girls my dd played with for so many years from being in that team then. What an odd rule. It must limit who they can get to play for them.

Sandysandwich · 24/10/2022 18:33

Always for matches
But for the training sessions I normally have his sibling in the play area that is right behind the goal- so i am still there if there is any accidents and he can see me.

BeautifulDragon · 24/10/2022 18:35

You definitely need to stay! What if there an injury or whatever?

My kids both play, which means I often don't get to watch DS anymore because DH coaches his team, so I have to go with DD.

But we both watch, both DCs whenever possible. I always think it's sad when parents choose not to watch their kids, why wouldn't you??

I am no football fan, but their interests are my interests.

Figgygal · 24/10/2022 18:38

The only parent who doesn't stay and watch at my kids under 11's is a drug addicted arsehole and mum stays home with the other 5 kids I expect their child is glad of the peace

Flitter123 · 24/10/2022 18:43

Where we are you have to stay as there is no insurance for the coaches to look after them. Sometimes parents will take responsibility for their friend’s children but coaches won’t have them if no one’s in charge of them. It’s not childcare.

PolkaDotMankini · 24/10/2022 18:48

Football parent veteran here. It's expected that you stay and watch. My DS plays on the same team as his friends though so we do a car share. It's absolute bliss after 7 years of spending nearly every Saturday watching muddy boys race around.

wifeofaclosefriend · 24/10/2022 18:50

It's perfectly acceptable to wait in car or drop and pick up after a training session (dependant on age obvs ) but not for the actual football match. Is there a reason you can't attend? Siblings with other activities?
Both my DC's played, sometimes at same time so me and H took in weekly turns at which DC we watched or we had one match in morning and one in afternoon so we're out all day.

If you are friendly with the other parents then maybe they could help on the odd matches you couldn't attend for whatever reason but I would imagine your kids would want you there as well.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 24/10/2022 18:50

I don't watch every single one but mine has been playing for 6 years and I know the team parents very well. Local ones I always do. The parents who never watch are noted and judged not by me but by lots of parents

TheOrigRights · 24/10/2022 18:58

Drop and run (literally...I go to running club!) on training nights. It was a happy day when I realised we didn't need to stay (lone parent, I get barely any time to myself).
Matches - always watch. It's important to him, and I enjoy (mostly!) enjoy it. It's all about the right clothing and being prepared!

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 24/10/2022 19:14

Both of my DC play and they generally have DH to watch them. When they were younger then I would watch if the timing was bad for DH to go to both. They generally liked to watch each other's matches too if they could. They know that I have no particular interest in football so have got used to me hanging around on the sidelines reading or whatever. I do cheer whenever one of them gets a goal though.

If you can't stay then it's wise to have someone who will keep an eye on them for you, injuries happen regularly and someone will need to go in the ambulance with them or take them to the minor injuries unit, or at least have your number to phone you to come and get them.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 24/10/2022 19:15

Training has been drop and go for ages now, since they were about late primary/secondary age.

Arnaquer · 24/10/2022 19:18

Both of my boys played rugby and the rules of the club were parents had to stay for training ( even if sat in the car) and for games. It was in case of injury which I thought was fair enough. I used to enjoy watching them play, youngest is 20 now and I still watch when I can.

saraclara · 24/10/2022 19:26

Well this must make single mums with more than one child feel really shit. Apparently their child will be scarred for life if they don't stand there every week with one or more very unhappy siblings who can't be allowed to do anything else in a Saturday morning. Or those who have kids at different Saturday sports.

I used to enjoy watching my very sporty daughter play in her different teams and individual competions. But fortunately my other dd was a home bird and I had a DH to look after her or take turns in watching the eldest. But it is a lot of commitment, and with most mums working, weekend time is precious.

For one of dd's sports and for away matches we did car shares. That helps.

BettyOBarley · 24/10/2022 19:50

DS has just started with the local tots team (reception/Yr1) and obviously we stay at this age for the training (no matches yet) but I noticed that the older ones parents don't.
I've always had the understanding that parents stay for matches though.
DH talks about the fact that his mum never stayed to watch him play football (single parent but only child, she just didn't want to) and it really bothered him!

illiterato · 24/10/2022 20:03

at my dc’s rugby club there is meant to be a designated adult per child but sometimes that seems to be a bit loose for the older kids. Not always possible for me to watch both mine as they might be playing two different tournaments at the same time so one of them has to get a lift.

Meagainalready · 24/10/2022 22:51

I watched the odd one but definitely not all matches. DH rarely watched any as I usually did drop off.
I never stayed for training

DS was never fussed either way. I probably watched more as he got older and it got easier to juggle the other kids.

Nof sure why I didn’t watch more I just wasn’t really in the habit. Am sure DS would have asked if he wanted us to stay. Occasionally he would ask us not to as it made him more nervous.

There were always the same sets of parents who watched every single match, both parents.

This thread is making me feel bad now.

AquaticSewingMachine · 24/10/2022 22:54

It's rugby on a Sunday morning for us, does that count?

DH does the taking and he always stays; if they're playing away there would be no point in going home just to turn around and come back anyway. As far as I can tell virtually all the parents stay.

mondaytosunday · 24/10/2022 22:58

Yes for home matches, though of course many don't (other kids' activities being the main reason, can't be bothered also though).
My son really appreciated the support so I wouldn't dream of missing any games I could get to (and he played rugby out of school too, so that was every Sunday. My daughter had to come too when young - I'm a widow so no one else to have her).

clary · 24/10/2022 22:59

Oh please stay and watch op. My ds is at uni now and I was thinking only yesterday how I felt at a loose end.

Those who say, why stay for this activity, well I always watched dd’s dance show and plays she was in, and watched both of them in athletics comps. Just that footy is more often.

Twelve years of Sunday mornings at footy. I miss it beyond what I could have imagined.

converseandjeans · 24/10/2022 23:03

Coach here, parents really need to stay (or have some sort of arrangement with other parents taking turns to stay). If there is any sort of injury requiring medical treatment, there needs to be a parent responsible close by. They can't abandon the rest of the team to take your child to hospital for example. Coaches are not permitted to be alone with any child for safeguarding reasons (to protect the coach as much as the child).

Agree with this. The coaches are volunteers and not babysitters. They don't get paid. The issue is if there is an injury. DH manages a team & when DS was younger I would always go to matches as the designated adult as DH was tied up with the match.

If you don't want to stay then you need to make sure you have someone who can take care of DS if he gets injured & they can look after him & call you & perhaps bring him home. A coach running a match can't really do that.

DH got stuck with a child at training as his Dad dropped and went off to do something else. So 2 coaches had to stay for quite a while after in the dark as it's not good for a male coach to be alone with a child. He wasn't happy that after a full day teaching, walking the dog, rushing to training and then running the session he had to stay another 40 mins because the Dad didn't show up on time.

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