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Parenting

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Original poster

Parents of children who play football matches on a Saturday morning

97 replies

gorillalala · 22/10/2022 12:34

Just a quick question to understand what other people do really :

Is it desired/expected/required to watch your child (who is 10) play for the whole match?

Or is it accepted for parents to leave their child there and pick them up afterwards?

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TinaYouFatLard · 22/10/2022 13:58

We would feel very sorry for a child who never had a parent watch matches.

Singleandproud · 22/10/2022 14:03

@PuttingDownRoots ah, missed the bottom of your message - that is was for the post-match lunch.
DD is older and therefore it's all girls in the changing room so it's not an issue. Although we have to have a cluster team with the girls of several clubs playing together as there aren't enough girls to make a full team in any of the individual clubs. Such a shame.

@Frazzled2207 I think it's probably quite normal for parents to stay as 1) they aren't restricted on space on the pitch side as you might be if your child does swimming or gym etc. 2) for football and rugby injuries are more likely to happen so need at least one adult who can take responsibility for their own or a small group of children (if car sharing)

ZenNudist · 22/10/2022 14:04

I think you are expected to support.

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Reservoirbogs · 22/10/2022 14:05

Stay, watch and support. I'm one of the few mums who ever turn up to watch, some just sit in their cars. Yes the weather is often vile but I don't mind as mine plays under 15's now, keeps him fit and off the xbox. He might have given up long ago if he didn't have his family's support.
I've actually grown to love it and support all the boys with words of encouragement.
Oh and yes to staying for injuries as they get older. We've had 3 broken bones in the space of 2 months, 2 in one match (not ds thankfully!)

Original poster

gorillalala · 22/10/2022 16:30

LadyHarmby · 22/10/2022 13:04

Stay and watch the matches. I file it under ‘the price you pay for having kids’. It’s big, fat file..

Haha, yes, so true...!

OP posts:

Kite22 · 22/10/2022 16:49

It's up to you.
My dd played for 8 years. Some of us went to every match. A few came occasionally. Several I never met. Most didn't have 2 parents there.

I enjoy football, so I went to ever match. I also took a girl (for all those 8 years) whose parents never, ever came. I felt a bit sad for her, but I also felt it was her parents' loss. I made good friends from that time, but also, crucially had lots of conversations on a regular basis in the car with dd throughout her teens - a time when quite a lot of parents say they don't get much communication from their teens......

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 22/10/2022 17:22

When dd played at weekends either dh or I took her and stayed to watch. Largely to support her, but also in case anything happened - she played in a girls league, and some of the matches were a good hour away because they were not many teams.

Now she plays for her school team, the matches are straight after school - I've never made it back from work to watch - I'd really like to occasionally.

tigger1001 · 22/10/2022 17:39

My eldest is now in u16 team. But has played since he was little. Once the training got to 2 hours I stopped staying (wasn't worth going home before that) but have always stayed for matches unless I have other plans with my youngest. Some parents stay and some don't.

smileandsing · 22/10/2022 17:44

You stay and watch to support your child in their interest. Unless you have some other commitment, why would you want to leave? They will notice if you aren't there.

I go to every game I can if I'm not working. Although football was never an interest of mine, it is now because DS loves it. I had to have this convo with DH who didn't want to stand in the rain and didn't find it that interesting. He couldn't see it wasn't about him, but DS. He's wised up now thankfully. He had an emotionally neglectful, borderline abusive childhood so his behaviour stems from there.

It's very important that your kids know you genuinely support their interests, share their successes and defeats, and generally care about what they do.

JessesMum777888 · 22/10/2022 17:45

I don’t think how much you realise you being there means to your child.

cptartapp · 22/10/2022 17:46

Never stayed for training. But have watched most games. DS1 finished last year at 18 after 13 years with the same team and manager and DS2 at 17 is in his last season. Great memories and friendships formed over the years.

Hotpinkangel19 · 22/10/2022 17:58

I usually stay for both matches and training. My son likes me to watch him. There's one boy who's parents never watch, everyone feels sad for him but we cheer him on.

BackToWhereItAllBegan · 22/10/2022 18:04

My DS has been playing for 10 years and I've watched every game. All the parents stay and watch and as a result of spending so much time together, some of my best friends are people I met on the sidelines!
This is my DS's last year before university and I'll really miss watching him play every week :((

PuttingDownRoots · 22/10/2022 18:24

Out of interest for those who ho to every game.... are they an only child? I often feel guilty I miss something for one while attending something for the other. Although DDs grandad is her biggest fan and goes to as many Rugby games as he can despite it just being the U11s and her being the smallest weakest player. Its easier when DH is around.

Eupraxia · 23/10/2022 10:49

@PuttingDownRoots we have four children. Eldest 3 play for football teams (two Saturday matches, one Sunday matches).

DH aims to go to all matches. I tend to stay home with youngest, unless there's no alternative.

The Saturday matches aren't usually at exactly the same time. So sometimes DH watches half of each. Sometimes he alternates with Grandparents and they each watch a whole match. It is exceptionally rare that noone watches our kids play.

As an aside any family with only 2 football players can solve this by making sure each play for Sunday and Saturday teams.

Theresomethingaboutdairy · 23/10/2022 11:25

We have 4 children-2 that play football. Matches are both on Sundays. Normally one in the morning and one in the afternoon. We either all go to watch both matches, or we go to one match each, if they are at the same time. Training is drop and run but we always have somebody watching them play the match. Even if it's a grandparent. My daughter fractured her arm in one match, I would have hated not to have been there.

Simonjt · 23/10/2022 11:32

I go to every match (rugby), he comes to all of mine too!

Most parents/guardians will stay for matches, its really important to show support (if you can), but its also where children are more likely to be injured, in those cases they don’t want coach or someones elses parent looking after them under the age of about 13/14.

woff45 · 23/10/2022 11:39

General rule round our way was training was only for the hardcore parents, but everyone would be at matches. Both parents for the key matches!

woff45 · 23/10/2022 11:43

Out of interest for those who ho to every game.... are they an only child? I often feel guilty I miss something for one while attending something for the other.

One thing I found quite sad was where there were families with boys and girls the mums would often not come to football matches, presumably doing something with the daughter, where the families only had boys the mums would be there every week (or often at least). I think it's fine to divvy out the tasks but think for the sake of mums and sons would say take it in turns so you do sometimes go to the matches and show support to sons. But you can't be in 2 places at once of course, but I'd try to avoid "mum does ballet, dad does football" scenarios, if wanting to build strong relationships across the whole family and not segregate too much.

shivermetimbers77 · 23/10/2022 11:51

Avoiding the freezing cold training sessions is one of the reasons I am very glad my son doesn’t like football 😁

FiveMins · 23/10/2022 11:52

I quite like watching them. My 3 all play football and used to also play rugby. I am surprised how much I miss watching the eldest who plays at uni.

healthadvice123 · 23/10/2022 11:54

We always watched , also what if there is an injury your leaving the coaching staff to sort that and keep eye on other kids etc
Occasionally may of not gone but another parent took them and took on responsibility
But my kids played for same team for 11 years so knew parents well
Also what does your child want ?what do coaches want ?

Kite22 · 23/10/2022 15:46

Out of interest for those who ho to every game.... are they an only child?

No, I have 3

AnnapurnaSanctuary · 24/10/2022 14:59

We have three DC and they all have weekend matches, so we have to do a bit of juggling and there may be one child who doesn't have anyone watching them in a particular week. One of us will be there if it's physically possible though. We just drop off for training.

@woff45 it's so tricky. In theory I agree with you, but in practice I do prefer watching netball (eg I sometimes pay to watch a professional match), while DH feels the same about football. However much I love my sons, I just don't love football! I think it works out ok as I have still spent a lot of time watching them over the years.

therubbiliser · 24/10/2022 15:02

We do both. Sometimes stay sometimes leave. It is unending with 3 kids and multiple sports. Turns the breaks.

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