How many fathers do you know who...

[emkana]

... deal unprompted with things like

a/replying to b'day party invitations
b/replying to the various communications from school, sorting out dinner money etc
c/listening to their child reading
d/listening to violin/piano practice (if applicable)
e/ add other example if you wish

My DH does. Why doesn't yours?

errrrrrr...certianly not my dad ever. or DH. or ex-p.

all ladiesdepartment i'm afraid, in their heads anyway.

this is the very stuff i would like him to do though!

er Quattrocento... because your dh is perfect and mine isnt'?

f/ take older child out for fresh air and exercise instead of shouting at him for jumping on furniture

Depends on the situation - my dh is the best

Does it make a difference whether you're a SAHM while your dh works outside the home? That's how things work here, and I guess it plays a part. While dh does a lot with/for us at the weekend (cooks, goes to the supermarket, we go on outings, he does bath/bedtime) he is in switching off after a stressful week at work mode to some extent, and probably feels that it's my job to some extent. He will do the reading and the violin bit if prompted though.

book a dental appointment

we both work

mine doesn't do any of those things emkana.

In fact last time we went to get the kids after football (dh wanted to see them playing) he didn't even know which door to collect them from

a) but only if he knows the parent
b) sometimes
c) yes but not enough
d) no instruments
e) he does dd1's physio
f) takes them out to park at weekends or for run around - yes he does that

well

my kids father does most of these, except the school stuff (kids are home educated)

actually, he is TEACHING ds to read and takes full responsibility for this

um

He also does a 40 hour week with a 3 hour daily commute atm

And right now he is downstairs doing the cleaning of the kitchen (including work surfaces and floors), while simultaneously looking after dd

(I am planning on keeping him, I think )

oh yes he is much better than me at spotting when they need to be walked, too.

he takes the boys swimming though and out on their bikes

ummm, dh would do b,c and d unprompted.

I could see that some of these sort of things might depend on who spends most time at home with the kids first thing in the morning (dinner money) and after school (reading, violin). If only dad is around at these times, then I suppose dad would end up doing it. If just mum's about, it might become part of her job.

Mine would happily if prompted, but wouldn't think of doing anything listed other wise.

But then I wouldn't set up a direct debit to pay a bill, take my car for an MOT, or arange for a plumber or builder to work on the house.

As DH works and I work at home, I usually deal with invites etc because I know who to deal with IYSWIM. However, DH does all childcare during the weekend and reads and puts her to bed every night (she is 2.0y). He has, this weekend, taken her to the park to feed the ducks (I stayed in bed), played out in the back garden with her, got play dough out. Today we all went swimming and this afternoon DH made Thomas cakes with dd (I read my book.)Generally I am very spoiled! He also made my lunch and dinner and washed up, bathed dd etc. I hoovered up.

well to be fair to my dh, I am a SAHM and he is away from home a lot, so it makes sense for me to deal with this stuff on a daily basis.

"But then I wouldn't set up a direct debit to pay a bill, take my car for an MOT, or arange for a plumber or builder to work on the house. "

yes see I WOULD do all those things, as would he

its really who gets there first, most of the time

"But then I wouldn't set up a direct debit to pay a bill, take my car for an MOT, or arange for a plumber or builder to work on the house. "

yes see I WOULD do all those things, as would he

its really who gets there first, most of the time

I couldn't manage without being able to pay bills and get my car sorted, since my dh works away a lot of the time.

All except a). Draws the line at actually communicating with the other parents (except on non-child subjects).

But he is much kinder, nicer and more protective than me. I am much more likely to drag children out in only their vests in sub-zero temperatures!

emkana - if you are not happy with what he doesn't do, tell him. Both of you are parents.