5 week old baby cries when put down

[Starpop]

Hi, I am struggling a bit, my baby is 5 weeks old, we had a stressful start with various things including the birth and a few issues afterwards.

He will only sleep on me, I can not put him down, I've tried a Moses basket, next to me crib, swing chair, and he cries in all of them. The longest he's slept in his Moses was for 15 minutes, I have tried settling him again and putting him back in but he cries, and after the 5th or 6th attempt I give up and put him in bed with me as I am so tired I cannot preserve all night long.

i have a sling so that enables me to do a little around the house but I can't shower and dress whilst wearing a sling so either his Dad can sometimes settle him for 5 mins while I get ready or if he's not around I'll have no choice but to leave him to cry in his Moses whilst I get sorted as quick as I can. I know he's safe but I hate leaving him to cry.

I don't know what to do, I really feel like I'm failing. I've tried warming the Moses with a hot water bottle, tried shushing and patting but he just gets more upset until I take him out.

Even with his Dad sometimes he can settle him other times he just gets more and more upset until he hands him back to me, so I'm really struggling to get any time to just do basic things never mind anything else.

I feel like his Dad thinks he's like this because I'm breastfeeding but I don't want to stop breastfeeding and his Dad doesn't want me to either. I need to start expressing so he can give him a bottle but at the moment I am either feeding him or holding him so the thought of also expressing as well makes me feel even more stressed! Like just another thing to fit in and keep me tied to the sofa!

sorry for the long post I needed to vent, I know it won't last forever but in the meantime anyone else been through /going through similar?

not my first child but big age gap so feels like it's all new to me again

My now 15 week old was exactly the same. He started doing short stints of sleep in his next to me at around 8/9 weeks which built up to 8/9 hours by the time his was 12 weeks. I also started to be able to put him down in his pram for daytime naps at around 10/11 weeks so hang on in there!

Re. the SIDS anxiety - I’ve been there but found reading up on it helped my anxiety. In particular, I was surprised to find out that 50% of these deaths occur in a crib and of those that happen in a parents bed, the majority were not following the safe sleep guidance.

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/07/Co-sleeping-and-SIDS-A-Guide-for-Health-Professionals.pdf

You’re doing a great job! Enjoy those cuddles, my little one is so wiggly these days I rarely get them.

Argh OP I could have written this! I have a 5 week old now and the only difference is that she'll accept her dad for longer.

She too doesn't like chairs etc and screams through our dinners when we have no choice but to put her down.

I have the same issue regarding sleep, I really am not keen on cosleeping due to the safety worries, and also the fact that I'm stuck on the same side all night long if she's next to me so end up achy. She has a Next To Me and a moses basket but it's completely hit and miss whether she'll spend any amount of time in either and at night more often than not I try to put her down but on her next wake up she comes in with me. I tried persisting with the Next to Me 2 days ago and ended up awake until 4.30.

I did manage to get her to do a good nap in the daytime in the moses basket this week by putting a blanket on the matress to make it more cosy, and wrapping baby in another blanket before laying her down (asleep) 👍. But obviously I can only do this when I'm awake to watch her so it doesn't help the nightime issue 🤷‍♀️

It's so tough. I do manage to express so my DP can give her a bit of milk in the evening so I can get some sleep, but I too struggle to get the time to do it, especially as the day goes on and she wants to feed more and more constantly. A friend gave me an electric double pump so not it only takes 10 mins - I don't get a full feeds worth but enough that DP has something to help calm her.

What we're doing at the moment is I'm going to bed and he's sitting up with her for 2/3hrs, then I'm taking over, feeding and trying to settle her in the Next2Me. If that doesn't work then she's sleeping in our bed in her little arms up swaddle.

Good luck to you, it is a proper tough time.

Thank you this gives me hope, thank you for the link I'll read that.

Well he managed 20 minutes in his Moses basket last night. After being swaddled, shushed and swayed to sleep with a dummy in.

I'll keep persevering and hope the stretches get longer. It's just so hard waking up again as I'm so exhausted then needing to settle him back down.

I see what a lot of you are saying about just accepting how he is and I do to some extent he naps in sling through the day and we co sleep at night but I do think I need to keep trying to get him in the Moses/ next to me crib

With DC1 the only way I could get him to nap (he would nap on me but only for 20 minutes) was to half-swaddle him (using a specialist swaddle blanket and swaddling his arms but not his legs) then jiggle him to sleep while holding him, then transfer him to electric swing (of the sort that we'd said "we're never getting something like that for OUR baby...") on full power (a gentle rock and he'd wake up instantly, if it looked like a theme park pirate ship he'd sleep) with white noise playing.

Found that combination after six-eight weeks and it was life-changing.