Dear First Time Parents / Those expecting first children - I know you have lots of questions and I've just found most of the answers

[Twiglett]

in this handy guide

enjoy

PMSL I liked the airhorn one. After a few sleepless nights I have been tempted to wake baby by crying loudly and saying see this isn't really that much fun is it.

Made me LOL Twig!

they come as cards in a little box - my sis in law got some at her baby warming do (dont ask!!)

me and DH just pissed ourselves at that, thanks

You mean we're not supposed to pick our baby's nose? Where's teh fun in that?

is it wrong that I've done at least two of those?

I am actually crying with laughter!

lol

we saw someof these in a book in waterstones called 'guide for new fathers' or similar.

I love them.

PMSL - I was snorting

I have just quite literally pmsl - my pelvic floor has yet fully recovered from birth of pfb!!

And ds and me started playing chess when he was 2 weeks old!!!

which two have you done youngvisiter (feeling urge to put 'sic' in but that would be pretentiously ponce-tastic)

well, I feel I should make people guess but I am guessing you all have more important things to do so....

drum roll....

Playing with Baby

Helping Baby Teeth (ok, not intentionally, but I found DS chewing shoes more than once)

and, of course, Clearing Baby's Nose". C'mon, who hasn't done that?

Actually, probably Bonding with Baby too, only DS has a baby-cino (ponce alert).

We've done 4 of them, god i'm such a bad mum