Newborn constantly on the breast, im struggling to cope

[fairgame84]

DD is 3 days old and she is constantly on the breast. She has a shallow latch which is improving with flipple technique. I feed her on cross cradle hold. I am re-latching most of the time when she slips back to shallow latch.
We were seen by feeding specialist midwife yesterday due to me being in pain and that's where she said the latch wasn't deep enough. There's no tongue tie, she just has a small mouth apparently.
Yesterday she was feeding 10-30 minutes in total every 1-3 hours.

Today she's feeding for 1-2 hours every 3-4 hours. As soon as she drops off she wants to go back on. I've got milk, her poos are yellow, and she is offered both breasts at each feed.

I've offered formula but she vomits it back and just wants breast. She's got no interest in a dummy.
I've tried swaddling, winding, rocking and nothing helps. She's not just rooting, she's properly crying until I she's back on the breast.

I really want to carry on breastfeeding but Im at the point where I'm thinking of giving up and bottle feeding. Im not getting any rest or sleep.

Please help.

I had the same, op. my baby was small too, no tongue tie (assessed by infant feeding team) but painful latch. I have flat nipples too. Also breastfeeding is a skill and it took me and my baby time to learn it.

TMI nipple scabs. I got scabbed nipples. I remember in the shower when these thick scabs fell off, I thought there would be scarring underneath but they were as good as new. This isn’t to gloss over the pain, at first it sometimes I felt like I was willingly closing my nipple in a door over and over again.

for me it did get better, then for some reason it got painful again around 10 weeks, then better again and I still breastfeed now she is a toddler.

i combi fed very sparingly (to retain my breast milk supply, I am not anti-formula) and I used nipple shields sparingly. I also bought a nipple shaping device on Amazon which I thought helped at the time but in retrospect I don’t think it did.

basically it does get better so keep going if breastfeeding is for you (and your baby). The cluster feeding times are the hardest but they do pass.

Have you tried tommee tippee breast-like-soother. My LO did this when first born until my nipples bled. He didn’t take to other dummies and kind of wretched when I put them in his mouth but as the tommee tippee ones mimic the breast feeling in his mouth he took to them and after a few days I could do a full feed and then settle him with this instead of the on/off feeding. It worked perfectly and Midwife said it was absolutely fine if they are just on breast for comfort rather than a feed.

Nipple shield was useless. She wasn't able to feed on it at all.
I've just put her on the most painful side and it's tolerable after being rested. However she has been cluster feeding early evening so I don't know if I'll be saying the same in a few hours.

I've not tried rugby hold yet so I'll give it a go later.

@Condescendingtwats
That's exactly how I feel. It's become an obsession that I can't quit and I never thought I would feel like this as I fed DS formula from birth and never had any guilt or regret.
I just said to DH that all I'm going to remember about her first days are this instead of happy memories.
Poor DS has just got back from school to find me a sobbing mess on the sofa trying to get screaming DD to latch.

I really feel for you. My daughter didn't stop feeding for the first 2 days, even through the night. I'd been awake for 40 hours in a row and had started to hallucinate it was that bad. In the end, after a bit of a cry to the midwife, we gave her 50 ml of formula in a small cup (so no nipple confusion). She slept after that thank god. On day 3 there was so much milk in my boobs she had no idea what to do with it all.

Have you tried breastfeeding pillow? I did struggle with bf, and this pillow saved me. Baby was way more comfortable and that helped with the latch. I also managed to get more rest - I did often fell asleep during bf (only when my husband was next to me!). The pillow stoppes the baby to fell out so you much more comfortable than holding constantly.

www.johnlewis.com/bbhugme-dot-print-nursing-pillow-multi/p5543961?sku=239989057&s_ppc=2dx92700070985443024_mixed_fashion_BAU&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=CjwKCAjwkaSaBhA4EiwALBgQaGwdk7Y3teOlBBXvH2b8GDTQlUEyChKe0WwwgA_jQu8QnZ4q2CajshoCKVEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

She fed for 45 minute's each side then had a 10 minute nap then went again. But she ended up screaming like she was being murdered while I was trying to latch her again. She was crying, I was crying. DH gave her 30ml formula and she's sleeping soundly. He thinks we should put her to the breast and offer formula top ups until we've got on top of breastfeeding. I think it's a better option than pumping.

she ended up screaming like she was being murdered while I was trying to latch her again.

Sounds stressful! Have you tried pausing and stripping you both off for skin to skin to calm her before attempting to latch again?

Co-regulation is really important, her heart rate and blood pressure will mimic yours. But trying to stay calm is easier said than done!

Also some babies will latch in their sleep which is a nice calm time to practice

DH gave her 30ml formula and she's sleeping soundly. He thinks we should put her to the breast and offer formula top ups until we've got on top of breastfeeding

Some mums also find that if they're struggling giving a tiny bit of a bottle before latching can help, like 10ml just to take the edge off so they're hungry but calm and not ravneous and screaming. Tell DH to check out 'paced bottle feeding' if he hasn't already.

It's become an obsession that I can't quit and I never thought I would feel like this

Perhaps it could help to get it off your chest and talk it all over in detail with a peer supporter at a local group? Or with a breastfeeding counsellor on the National Breastfeeding Helpine

I've just put her on the most painful side and it's tolerable after being rested.

That's great! Do not settle for a painful latch, at all! It's so frustrating to keep relatching but it's well worth it. The 'flipple'/exaggerated latch technique is great for getting a deep latch - there's some great youtube videos of it.

Also, check out Lucy Webber @lmj.infantfeedingsupport on Instagram

I hear you OP. One thing that I came to realise was depending who you speak too there is bias. I think breastfeeding support workers are brilliant for practical advice but not so great at emotional as they want you to continue breastfeeding (which of course they should). However you come away feeling like quitting or combi feeding isn’t an option and you feel weirdly guilted and guilty especially after you’ve received support/advice from them so have no reason to stop then other than not enjoying it.
if you speak to formula feeding mums/support then you just get dismissive ‘oh just give them a bottle of formula’ and no emotional support as to why that’s so hard and why you feel guilty.

For me it got to a point after a month where my MIL came over. I was crying my eyes out as baby woke every 30 minutes for a feed for 1hour. I was exhausted. Whilst baby slept for 30 minutes I was googling breastfeeding, on breastfeeding support pages or talking about breastfeeding.
then she’d wake up and be breastfeeding.

My MIL gently took baby off me, told me to go to bed. Said 1 bottle of formula won’t affect my supply or harm baby but me not sleeping definitely will.
Me and DP then slept for 12 hours straight whilst she sat with baby. Then I got a hot shower and a cuppa. I was then able to suddenly rationalise everything in my mind after that sleep.
I went out and bought a tub of formula. I combination fed thereafter. I gave formula as main feeds and only BF when I wanted too for bonding which was about the 2-3 times a day max. Some days just once, other days I’d do it lots. I did it purely because I wanted too. It was very enjoyable then. I could also go out and leave DP too it if I needed some headspace.
My baby slept 4 hours at a time from that night onwards and my entire baby experience changed and my mental health was salvaged. However I won’t get those newborn days back.

Upon reflection I think what I was looking for on forums/groups was permission. Permission to quit. Weird as that sounds. I felt so so guilty. I just wanted someone to say ‘it’s fine, just stop. Give baby a bottle and go and lie down. This is a choice not an enforcement.’

You may not feel like what I’ve just said, but if you do then please do stop whenever you want but equally please keep seeking support to continue if it is what you want to persevere with. But only persevere because you WANT to do it, not because you’ve gone down the rabbit hole of feeling you have to do it xxx

Try Silverette nipple caps between feeds to help heal them - they were the only thing I found that really worked. Unfortunately it's normal. I wish you the strength to get through it and many happy BF hours to come. My LO is 9mo now and I have loved feeding her. It's been such special time that only I will ever get to have with her.