Newborn constantly on the breast, im struggling to cope

[fairgame84]

DD is 3 days old and she is constantly on the breast. She has a shallow latch which is improving with flipple technique. I feed her on cross cradle hold. I am re-latching most of the time when she slips back to shallow latch.
We were seen by feeding specialist midwife yesterday due to me being in pain and that's where she said the latch wasn't deep enough. There's no tongue tie, she just has a small mouth apparently.
Yesterday she was feeding 10-30 minutes in total every 1-3 hours.

Today she's feeding for 1-2 hours every 3-4 hours. As soon as she drops off she wants to go back on. I've got milk, her poos are yellow, and she is offered both breasts at each feed.

I've offered formula but she vomits it back and just wants breast. She's got no interest in a dummy.
I've tried swaddling, winding, rocking and nothing helps. She's not just rooting, she's properly crying until I she's back on the breast.

I really want to carry on breastfeeding but Im at the point where I'm thinking of giving up and bottle feeding. Im not getting any rest or sleep.

Please help.

This is why I gave up breastfeeding pretty fast. No one tells you how hard it can be at the start. It killed me. I spent days crying with exhaustion.

What I hate is when people smugly tell you it's normal. There is no sympathy- just a sort of kick to say I got through it so you have to. Followed with some emotional blackmail about how much your baby needs you. I think if people actually just said 'breastfeeding can be shit ' you'd have decent expectations.

So I hear you. It's shit. It's exhausting and I
Genuinely am in awe of people that manage it. You are doing your best. The baby is getting fed. See what the midwife says and take it from there. Good luck 🤞

When you say 1-2 hours is that on and off, or is it a solid continuous feed? Feeding for 1-2 hours in one go without stopping is not normal cluster feeding!

Everyone above is right - day 3/4 are SO hard, and cluster feeding is relentless. But, there should be a gap in between feeds. Even if that is only 5 mins. Feeding for more than an hour non-stop suggests milk transfer is not as efficent as it could be.

Cluster feeding does feel non-stop and babies can feed seemingly constantly - it not always easy to tell what is normal. Here is a good guide: themilkmeg.com/cluster-feeding-normal-not/

If your baby is having plenty of wet and dirty nappies then they are getting plenty of milk...but tehya re having to work extra hard and you are not getting enough of a break! The only other reliable sign of getting enough milk is weight.

It sounds like you are doing amazingly!! It really really really will get easier, you area at one of the toughest points right now. Trying to use the flipple technique is a great approach. You could also experiment with some other positions which can be great for getting a deep latch:

• Laid back/biological nurturing - doing this whilst skin-to-skin is very good for encouraging latching instincts. It takes a lot of patience but can be very effective
• Koala position
• Rugby

Safe bedsharing and mastering feeding in the side lying position can be an absolute godsend for you getting rest.

You've got this! Hope you are able to do nothing else but eat and drink lots and stay in bed and soak up the fourth trimester with your baby.

This is nonsense. Many many newborns (mine included) just want to be on the breast 24/7.

It's so hard to start. My dd had a shallow latch for the same reason. They feed alot to start to establish your supply. Honestly I felt like giving up sooo many times in those early days, but I promise it gets easier and once it does, there are lots of pros to enjoy. Someone told me 'never give up on a bad day' and for some reason that really resonated with me and kept me going. You're doing a great job and there is light at the end of the tunnel!!

Night 2 / day 3 was the absolute worst for us. I remember sitting sobbing in bed saying I couldn't do it and what had we done.
After that it really improved. I won't say it was a breeze but it was manageable. If you have family / friends nearby accept all the help you are offered, get someone to hold the baby for a bit whilst you get showered etc. Good luck.

Well done on sticking with so far...its bloody tough! I was completely unprepared for cluster feeding, no-one told me it could be day 3 at 11pm which was a shock to the system!
Just to add, if you do have any concerns at all about babies latch do see if your local authority has lactation specialists that can support you, they are incredibly helpful and know much much more about breastfeeding than others x

Oh it's so so so hard in those early days. You can do it. I remember how hellish it felt. It's just about surviving. Take it one day, one night, one feed at a time and just keep plodding on. Agree with others above, snatch naps when you can (I know this is hard when all baby wants is you). But even if baby will settle with someone for an hour, get some sleep.

Day 3 shoud be your actual milk coming in, this for me is the hardest part as my boobs swell. It does settle down after this.

If you want to persevere with a dummy do it after feeds, and tou do need to hold it in their mouth and amooth their cheeks to encourage them to suck. Only once they have a good go at sucking will you know if they will reject it or not.

It is pretty relentless for the first 6 weeks, it does generally get much easier after that. It can feel never ending at the time.

A billion times this. I actually think you do forget how hard it can be and that's why people don't tend to talk about it, but it can be very very very very shit.

I gave up with my first and didn't even try with my second - we used formula, which is fine if you want to, whatever anyone else tells you. But if you want to keep going then I promise that it does get better, I used nipple shields with my third and they were a total lifesaver and got us through those tough days. Not everyone advises them but honestly, they are worth a shot. My daughter was small and tongue tied so I bought a few from Amazon and tried different shapes and sizes.

It's so tough and you are a rock star.

You've had loads of replies but I just wanted to also add that establishing breast feeding can be absolutely brutal. I thought I was losing my mind with my first baby and was in a constant state of baby on the boob, baby off the boob, baby on the boob, baby off the boob.... repeat x 1,000.

But, it's definitely worth it if you can just accept it is tough for the first few weeks and then once feeding is established, things settle down.

Congratulations on your new baby x

Day 3 is the worst! Mine both did this

Awhh you’re doing well. It’s only been 3 days and both of you are new to this.
Keep going and make sure you have nipple cream because it hurts after days of it. But the early days make the best stories a few years down the line when walking is the next problem and then reading, and then growing and then staying out and then they’ve gone.

If you can crack it it it though makes life infinitely easier for both of you. Free on tap no running out, no sterilising and you can do a night feed half asleep. Mine gave up after 6 months of wanting nothing else. It was heartbreaking.

It's bloody awful, honestly. Day 2/3 we were still in hospital and when I said she'd fed for 2-3 hours without stopping, the staff looked at me like I'd grown two heads. She then for another 3 hours solid and they finally believed me 🙄.

We did have latch issued, even though all the staff at the hospital all thought it "looked good", so it's worth getting other support/opinions if you can.

People are not as sympathetic as they could be that some women have been kept awake for up to a week by day 2/3 (if they've been in hospital before birth or had a long prodromal labour). It's awful not getting any rest. However you feed, you will eventually get more sleep. And how you feed is your choice 100%.

2 weeks ahead of you and i'm still finding things hard going. My local children's centre has a weekly breastfeeding group and it has been super helpful for me. I'd really recommend checking if you have something similar in your area.

I just got my daughter in law through this stage. The baby is now 3 weeks old and going much longer between feeds. My daughter in law was very nervous she didn't have enough milk at first. No one had breast feed a baby in living memory in her family, but all the women in my family did, so I could reassure her she was doing great - and yes, it hurts at first. Now she tells me she has lots of milk and she loves breastfeeding.

if weight gain and nappies are ok then I’d say it’s just cluster feeding, building up your supply. Drink loads of water, have someone fetch you food, watch Netflix and relax.
in bed I’d side feed incase you fall asleep, and set bed up for safe cosleeping.
after a few weeks it settles and is much easier! Make the most of doing nothing as it doesn’t last long 😫

Establishing breastfeeding was harder than birth. It shocked me how hard it was and relentless.
You sounds like you're doing amazingly well OP. It's bloody tough the first two weeks then it gets better & its all worth it. Hopefully baby will go a bit longer once your milk is fully in.
Rugby hold can be good for deeper latch.

You are doing so well !!! It’s so hard in the beginning but I promise you it gets better !

Sending you a hug. It is brutal. You will cope and it will be so much better I promise. Make a snug bed on the sofa or on your bed. People can bring you drinks and food. It’s very important to eat and remember to drink loads when feeding.

It is utterly overwhelming and no one prepares you for it. You are doing so well.

like everyone has said, those early days can be so tough. My first struggled with her latch and fed for more than 12 hours out of a 24 hour period during the first couple of weeks. I remember sitting on the sofa one time for eight hours and not being able to get up because the baby just wanted to feed. But it really did become easier within weeks and I loved it. It was incredibly special for us. And also very convenient.

for my second, I was prepared. A freezer full of cooked dinners and nice ready meals. And I just was mentally prepared that all I was going to do for weeks was sit on the sofa/sit in a cafe and feed.

Sleep when you can - even if that’s at very random times. Don’t do housework. Eat and drink a lot. Rest. If you want to breastfeed, that’s basically your job for the next few weeks as your body and your baby work it out.

if you don’t want to breastfeed, that’s fine.

Best advice I got was “feed waaay more than you think you need to”. Don’t underestimate just how much you need to sit on the sofa with your boobs out (possibly with cabbage leaves or cold tea bags to soak the nipple scabs).

The fussy evenings will happen from 3-8 weeks, and just when you think you can take no more, there’ll be a new routine without you even noticing.

it’s all a bloody massive shock, nothing really prepares you. expect to be blindsided and you’ll be ok.

You've got this 💪🏻

Oh bless you it is crap to start with. If you can imagine that your baby's stomach is as tiny as a marble, they have to keep filing it! Your milk will come in soon (prepare for extreme hormones and crying about everything).

Try to embrace it. Set up a feeding station on the sofa with snacks, phone, remote, cushions and so on all within reach. Get a good box set on and get DH to make the meals even if it is bland salmon 😂 everything else has to wait for a bit xxxx

If your baby is feeding for longer than 60 minutes without stopping that is not normal.

themilkmeg.com/cluster-feeding-normal-not/

Feeding on/off for hours and hours is normal, but if feeds are very very long you need some specialist support to check positioning and attachment and rule out tongue tie.

If the midwife you saw is not an IBCLC you should be able to ask for a referal to the infant feeding team to see one.

Thankyou everyone.

Someone asked if she was on the breast nonstop for 2 hours - no she's on and then off for a few minutes, repeat for 2 hours.

She was weighed yesterday and only lost 98g from 3.058kg birth weight. She's due to be weighed again tomorrow.

She fed from 5.30pm-8pm. As soon as she dropped off at 8pm DH took her downstairs so I could get a bath and nip to the shop.

I just hope the worst passes before he goes back to work. I've always said I'll give breastfeeding a try but I won't kill myself to do it. Now I feel like I can't give up. I bottle fed DS so didn't have this experience at all.