School class WhatsApp groups for parents. Are they a nightmare?

[caggie3]

My son has just started school and I've said hello/goodbye to the other mums at the school gates but I haven't made conversation more than that. I've heard about school mum cliques and drama on here and I'm not interested. I'm just there to drop my kid off. We've had a note in his bag that some mums have started a group chat on WhatsApp and to text one of them to join and I didn't do anything with it. My husband has found it and is saying I should join it for our sons sake, get friendly with his potential new friends mums, be invited to things. I don't really know what to do now but I feel like I don't want to be in it, is that wrong of me? Or am I right to avoid and just keep a bit distant?

It’s just reminders here, the odd all class party etc

It’s the least taxing thing and has made me remember stuff

I’d NEVER use the class chat to make friends, it’s just reminders and such for me and I don’t say much

I am very much a drop off, piss off parent and both DCs have plenty of mates and manage their own relationships 😂

I joined DDs one which was mostly OK, had to leave DSs one because they started bitching about the teacher. and one mum had a go at us that so many kids were in covid school, despite her sending her own child in and both her and her husband worked from home!

Total nightmare. Never again 😂

I do agree though, if DH is so bothered then get him to join!

Ours is useful - no drama at all (unfortunately)

Ours is reminders of things. Which is an absolute bloody lifesaver for me.

General shit like 'has anyone taken home jimmy's jumper' Often pops up.

I’m on a semi-official one which is really useful for reminders, having other parents contact details for arranging parties and play dates. Drama free.

I never really understand the reluctance to join WhatsApp groups, it’s very easy to join them then mute and ignore.

No chit chat on ours

Just people asking about homework, birthday parties etc

They are a nice friendly group

Literally no body does class WhatsApp groups in any school where I live.

Same here. Three years in, zero drama just useful reminders, whole class party invitations, lost properly and 'what's are they spellings this week?' type stuff.

It'd drive me mad if it was used as a chat things though, I have heard of some awful ones.

Useful for reminders.

Just avoid the night outs etc, that's where trouble can brew. Stupidly I did'nt so I do mingle on occasion but im very aware of who's who on the gossip front and I just stay neutral and friendly with everyone.

I have witnessed some awkward tiffs over the years though. I don't like to get involved!

Ours is fine is mostly Mums but are Dads instead for a couple of kids. Is literally for kids party invites is it PE today that sort of thing. No real chit chat outside school stuff. One mums night out but not everyone attended and was no big deal

Ours is good and has been running since DS2 started in reception now in yr2.
Generally just homework or class activity reminders or party invites and thank yous, also kid stuff going on the village. It's also a good way to track down lost jumpers.
DS2 started school in the pandemic so it was about the only way we could get to know the other parents. We add new parents when the move to the school.
Very friendly class though
We don't tend to socialise as class group except for school or village fundraisers

Ours was always pretty useful-reminders about trip payments, dressing up days and apologies from parents saying their child had nits!

It also had different parents suggesting meet ups in the park in the holidays which we sometimes went to and my DC loved.

They’re very useful for info eg when roads are closed, when you need someone to grab your child for ten min cos you’re stuck in traffic, when your child has lost something and you want to know if anyone has seen it, etc.

Please don’t just dismiss and ignore all the parents of your child’s friends, you’ll both be missing out on so much.

It’s a cliché that mum groups are full of cliquey drama and bitchiness. All of the ones I’ve been in have been lovely and supportive. 🤷‍♀️ There are always a few people who message the group too much but I just mute the group and ignore those messages.

Ours have been fine and really useful, also as everyone has at least one parent on all party invites ( at least when they're whole class party age ) seem to go through it. They also arrange mum's meet-ups but no pressure if that's not your thing.
There are a few dads on it but generally they're the ones who are SAHP or do the drop offs/pick ups, apart from one case where the mum can't join because she works at the school.

I don't like drama, but DS1's class recently created one and it's fine. I never comment but it has been useful.

Your husband should join. Mine joined before me because I was like you.

Ours is a whole year group one, so 60 parents.

As a full-time working single parent who does pick up once a week for one DC and never got the other, I find the WhatsApp group extremely useful. I've forgotten a few things like class/individual photo day, or mufti day, and the group ALWAYS remind us of these things.

At the start of reception there was a strict message saying the group was strictly for school chat only, and not what you watched at the weekend, which I thought made it sound like a group who didn't take themselves too seriously. They've also been extremely welcoming on the odd occasion I manage to turn up to school, though I make sure to participate in the WhatsApp group as much as I can.

I've been in a few and never had any trouble or drama. The class ones just tend to be reminders of dates for non uniform days, sports days etc. I'm sure there are many for other things but I'm not really interested. Your husband could totally join if it's important to him. We have a fair few dad's in the groups.