Do you take your kids to school ill?

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So we got into trouble last year because DD was in reception and ill too much.

She was sincerely ill, but I did not take her to school ill either. She was only 4 and I was at home on maternity so we didn’t have a need to take her to school ill.

I don’t want to be told off again this year, and I am also working. It’s fine for me to have her home though if she’s ill.

Her school says you should aim at 100% attendance but anything under 94% is poor. That’s two weeks in a year! So basically don’t get sick…. But kids do get sick. My daughter is sick every other week, she was at home a lot during covid and hasn’t built up her immunity. So what do you do? I want to know what other parents are really doing? Do you take your sick kids to school or let them recover at home and F* the school attendance records.

at her school I see parents bringing kids to school who probably should have stayed at home so just wanted to know, what do you do? Is it actually quite common to just take kids to school ill? When we have been asking this question to the school staff they all say no she should be at home when she is ill, but yet they still give us trouble. So I am really lost at what is the norm.

Well, for a lot of people, every single day they keep their kids off school, they lose money. So you can understand why they wouldn't keep them home for a sniffle. It's also detrimental to the child's education to be off frequently, I generally wouldn't unless they were significantly unwell. Cold, no. Vomiting yes.

I’m not judging, I do understand it’s hard for families and I know we have been in a situation where we have been easily able to keep her at home which is not possible for everyone.

So I haven’t actually kept her at home for a sniffle either, every time she was off sick was due to vomiting, diarrhoea, fever or Covid related. Sometimes I would give her an extra day after she didn’t have fever anymore, where she probably could have already gone back. She just got sick a lot, we took her to do tests for any underlying health issues and everything is fine. The doctor says he has seen this a lot, with children being at home a lot they get ill constantly now they are back in schools etc. I am really hoping this year will be better. But every time she got ill she was also either vomiting or had diarrhoea. So once they got onto our backs about the attendance I actually started taking her back before the 48hr rule was finished, as I think it’s such a two faced thing to tell us to keep them off but to have a go when they are ill.

that’s what I guess I am just wondering- are people taking their kids to school with fever etc feeling really poorly or is our DD just really ill a lot more than other kids? Do you respect the 48hr rule with sickness or diarrhoea? No judgment either way, just want to know what other parents do.

I wouldn't take my kids in with a fever or vomiting but neither would I give them an extra day off when they were better ..
Kids get Ill, the school know that. I feel that if the kids are moaning they have a sore throat then they can still go in (providing they have no fever) and school will look after them and call me if needed. I trust their school to do that.
Kids tend to perk up when with their friends.

I'm a primary school teacher. I was also on maternity leave when DC1 starred Reception. DC1 got sick all the time, and her attendance was something ridiculous like 91%. I chose to keep her home when ill, without a second thought.

So many parents seem to think that sick kids "perk up" once they get to school. In my experience, this may be the case for a minority of children; most kids carry on feeling miserable throughout the day, often in pain and completely unable to do anything about it or make themselves more comfortable.

Schools are reluctant to call parents of poorly children as so many parents become aggressive and combatant when we ring them and ask them to collect their child (if they even pick up at all). Teachers are aware that most parents are dependent on their DC being in school in order to work and that paid carer's leave is by no means universal. So there is pressure to keep kids in school who should probably not have been brought in.

Teachers are not able to 'look after' anyone's sick child beyond sitting them in the book corner with a drink of water. There's no time. And if you're feeling unwell, a classroom is probably the last place you'd want to be. There is nothing more miserable than an ill child wishing the day away at their desk, uncomfortable and tired and sore, just longing for the ordeal to be over.

Last year I kept my little one out of nursery a lot but towards the end of the year I just couldn't afford to unless it's D or V or fever, I send her in. But then again if my little active one is really ill ill without the D&V and fever you can tell anyway as she will be lying down and be very quiet compared to her usual active self and constantly moaning. If she has energy to moan then she's fine to go.

D and v keep off, fever over 39.5 degrees keep off covid symptoms i test and if negative send in, chicken pox keep off

The first thing to learn about primary school is to ignore the bossy email writer in the office. Use your common sense.

If your child is sick, keep them home, they are not a machine and do not recognise percentages. You know if your child is sick.

If your child is dreading sports day, give them a pass as long as they join in the rest of the year. If your reception age child is exhausted, give them a day off. Sometimes they are just too little.

You are the parent, you know them best, you have their best interests at heart, and most times, this means you and the school rules will agree, but YOU are the parent., NOT the local LEA.

Also know your sending your kid to school when other kids have been sick in the night and they're still sent in. Sometimes there's no choice. But you can't escape the bugs at school

No definitely wouldn't send in if she was properly unwell. Last year even a cold would have been enough to keep her off what with fears about Covid but that seems to have massively relaxed now so if it was just a sniffle I'd send her in. I have to say though that she rarely gets ill. Think she maybe had one sickness bug last year and a week off with chicken pox. I think some kids - like some adults- just get sick more frequently. ( I think our son is probably going to be a bit more sickly than our DD)

My sons teacher told them he was Covid positive. So he wore a mask to teach. Just have to crack on, can't afford to be off anymore

When mine was young we got hauled into school because she had been 'ill too often'. But she was genuinely ill as she had some health problems when she was younger. The headmaster as good as told me to send her to school and if she was ill they would send her home. I won't say what my reply to him was but needless to say, his suggestion never happened

Runny nose and happy playing yes. Temperature, vomiting or miserable no.

Schools can write as many emails/letters as they want... but when your child gets a bad stomach bug, bad cold (as in fever, constant running nose and coughing, not just off colour), scarlet fever and impetigo all in 8 months there isn't much you can do. That's what my daughter did one year! We followed all the official isolation requirements for these, so it added up to 12 school days.

I send DS in with coughs and colds and vaguely under the weather. I work and the school is very harsh on absence of any kind, so I don't feel bad about it.

When he had COVID but I was waiting his PCR test result they said they would record my decision to keep him home as a "welfare issue". I would have loved to send him in! But there is a girl in his class with health issues so I just couldn't.

My son nearly always has a cold (like me!) so I do have to send him in with a cold. However if I can see he's really suffering (such as miserable, lethargic, high temperature) no way would I send him in. He needs to rest and recover! There are mild colds and then there are more severe colds where you can't just carry on as usual. I also wouldn't send him in with Covid even if he seemed OK as some teachers/parents/grandparents are vulnerable. And of course I wouldn't send him in with a stomach bug or chicken pox. Nearly everyone in his class got told off last year for absence but it was all Covid related! We were following the rules abd we get told off?!

If you kept them at home for every sniffle then school would be empty October to March. Completely normal for a child to catch a cold and then for a cough to take 3-4 weeks to resolve are you really going to keep them off all that time?

Id keep my children off if they were properly ill D&V, fever. My eldest is 12 though and I’ve been hardened by children who are apparently much too Ill to go to school but are much better by 9:30am and want snacks/ screen time.

you make your own judgements. I wouldn’t worry too much about causing other children to become Unwell. By the time your child has brought it home and started to show symptoms those bugs are all over the school.

Generally I’ll send to school. If I think someone is borderline I’ll email the office and mention it. Ive once picked up at lunchtime when I’ve got it wrong, every other time they’ve been fine.

My eldest has 89.6% attendance in reception - she was before compulsory school age though, so nothing was said.

It was just a combination of chicken pox, Covid and a number of fevers. She wasn't ill more than any of her friends, and I suspect they had similar levels of attendance.

The fevers she was mostly 'well' for, but it was when Covid (and school) guidelines meant we needed to keep her off until the PCR came back.

I think a lot of stickers is common in reception, as they share their bugs with a larger group of children than before - especially this last year or so,

I think you just have to use your own judgement really.

I currently have one of mine home but they were being sick over the weekend so I am following the 48 hour rule. There is very clear rules for D&V and fever so in these cases it’s really easy for me to do.

My kids school are forever sending threatening emails to use stressing the importance of attendance. They throw in statistics and everything.

So, for things outside of D&V and fever it is tricker, and I basically have to decide whether I personally believe they could last the day at school.

It's a pity people don't keep their children off when they're ill. That's why there are so many bugs at school and it becomes a self perpetuating cycle with everyone unable to keep their child off. That's where school is less about education (well children would be better placed to learn) and more about childcare for the workforce.

Let's not pretend schools send children home as soon as they're miserable and unable to learn. They're made to suffer through hours of this if there ever do get to go home. As a teacher upthread said, school is the last place you want to be if you're not feeling well. It's noisy, demanding and you are able to do nothing to make yourself comfortable.

Sending miserable children in is a great way to make them loathe and dread school. Teachers don't have a magic wand and can't make your sick child's day productive.

I don't send my kids in with fever, vomiting or diarrhea or a known virus like chicken pox. I would send them in with a cough or a cold or they would never be at school. I still check for covid if they have symptoms and wouldn't send if it was that. Basically I see how they are feeling and use judgment.

In covid school policy seemed to be every bug stay away but it's tightening up again.

Completely agree with @MintJulia
Especially at that age, I'd keep them off ill and not feel it was at all detrimental to their education. And it's not selfishly making everyone else's child ill.

I remember when you just carried on when you had a cold, went to work, apologised for the sniffling and carried a tissue everywhere.
My child's only ever had one cold but are you not meant to send them into school with a cold?

My daughter has only been off school for:

Sickness bugs (always stick to the 48 hour rule) which have been 1-2 a year, minor and always including a weekend so max 2 days off.

When we all had covid from when the second parent went down with it so we had no one to take her to school till she and one parent were out of isolation, about 2 weeks total.

She goes to school with colds.

She had low attendance last year but an otherwise glowing report so I ignored the e-mails.

snotty nose - yes (pre covid)

fever, feeling like shit - stay home

DH and I are still expected to work with a cold.

Unless they have D&V, a rash or have lost a limb, my kids go in. We do stick to the 48 hour rules with things.

Some kids are just sickly kids though. DS1 gets ill with everything while DS2 doesn't. If DS2 says he's ill, I know it must be bad!