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Do you take your kids to school ill?

71 replies

LongStoryShorty · 25/09/2022 22:03

So we got into trouble last year because DD was in reception and ill too much.

She was sincerely ill, but I did not take her to school ill either. She was only 4 and I was at home on maternity so we didn’t have a need to take her to school ill.

I don’t want to be told off again this year, and I am also working. It’s fine for me to have her home though if she’s ill.

Her school says you should aim at 100% attendance but anything under 94% is poor. That’s two weeks in a year! So basically don’t get sick…. But kids do get sick. My daughter is sick every other week, she was at home a lot during covid and hasn’t built up her immunity. So what do you do? I want to know what other parents are really doing? Do you take your sick kids to school or let them recover at home and F* the school attendance records.

at her school I see parents bringing kids to school who probably should have stayed at home so just wanted to know, what do you do? Is it actually quite common to just take kids to school ill? When we have been asking this question to the school staff they all say no she should be at home when she is ill, but yet they still give us trouble. So I am really lost at what is the norm.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
welshweasel · 16/10/2022 07:53

Mine go in with colds, coughs, one off vomits etc. If they had vomited more than once, had diarrhoea, high fever etc then they’d go in. We’re in wales where under 5s haven’t needed to be covid tested for over a year, and I’m no longer testing my over 5 either, in accordance with government and school advice.

ghostsandpumpkinsalready · 16/10/2022 07:55

Last year my daughters attendance was 80% and I was threatened with welfare officers and told to take her to school dosed up on painkillers and antibiotics! Not a fecking chance the kid couldn't even move off the sofa for weeks.
If it's a cough and cold I'd take her no problem but honestly the school expected me to take her with a double ear infection,tonsillitis and pneumonia! Soz school but my kids health is far more important than your attendance figures and sometimes little kids just need a bit of tlc whilst they recover.

Travelbunny · 16/10/2022 08:00

Id apply the same rules that I do for myself.

If I am just a bit coldly and feel a bit rubbish, I’d go to work and dc can go to school.

d and v obviously stay off
temperature obviously stay off
feeling absolutely shit, can’t lift head off pillow, I’d keep off

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WoolyMammoth55 · 16/10/2022 08:04

It's a minefield isn't it? I am also treading the line between sending them in coughing and snotty and getting all the side eye from other parents, vs keeping them off and getting into trouble for too much absence...

My litmus test at this point is are they eating and drinking and playing as usual. If yes, I'll send them, snot bedamned. If they're off their food and listless/not playful then I think they're ill enough to keep home.

Mine are both under 5 so I don't have to worry yet about play-acting!

cookiemonstermum · 20/11/2022 18:46

I'd keep my daughter off if I'll. It's not fun for you to work when ill, so imagine being stuck in a classroom.

It annoys me that people send sick kids to school. I seen my child on oxygen due to catching a cold. After seeing that you never know how another child will cope with a illness.

I have heard plenty i have sent them as I need to work. I know we are in a cost of living crisis but some.kids can get seriously ill if they get a cold! Stop thinking of yourself and the bigger picture

AegonT · 20/11/2022 19:26

My daughter has only been off for tummy bugs and the 48 hrs after and when the family all had covid combined isolation. The school threatened us, I caused a fuss and they apologised. I will always follow the 48 hour rule and isolation rules when they are law. She goes in with a cold with packets of tissues in her bag.

Onnabugeisha · 20/11/2022 19:29

let them recover at home and F the school attendance records.*

This is what we did. Got threatening letters, had meetings to “assist us” put up with stupid perfect attendance award schemes that discriminate against children with disabilities and chronic health conditions.

Even today, with my youngest at sixth form I simply delete the attendance emails I get without even reading them. There’s no attendance requirement for sixth form! All that matters are the grades.

bowlingalleyblues · 20/11/2022 19:34

Mine was off for 5 days with Covid x 2 and another 2 days with D&V and so attendance was recorded as poor, yet I was following school guidelines so it’s nothing I can do anything about and I won’t be worrying about it.

cookiemonstermum · 20/11/2022 19:34

AegonT · 20/11/2022 19:26

My daughter has only been off for tummy bugs and the 48 hrs after and when the family all had covid combined isolation. The school threatened us, I caused a fuss and they apologised. I will always follow the 48 hour rule and isolation rules when they are law. She goes in with a cold with packets of tissues in her bag.

I got a letter (so did 40 other parents out of 60) after my daughter and majority of her class being off with covid. We all went in and complained as we wasn't going to send a child in who legally had to isolate for up to 10 days. There was 4 teachers and 40 kids off at one point. Had to get the retired teacher back to help teach and the remaining children who weren't ill had to stay in a bubble foe ages after just incase.

They slsaid we had to as it made their attendance drop below a certain amount. Later we got an apology as they realised covid shouldn't be used against them with their absence.

cookiemonstermum · 20/11/2022 19:37

Onnabugeisha · 20/11/2022 19:29

let them recover at home and F the school attendance records.*

This is what we did. Got threatening letters, had meetings to “assist us” put up with stupid perfect attendance award schemes that discriminate against children with disabilities and chronic health conditions.

Even today, with my youngest at sixth form I simply delete the attendance emails I get without even reading them. There’s no attendance requirement for sixth form! All that matters are the grades.

My daughter Will never get an award. She is under 6 different clinics and one in London so there is no way she can get perfect attendance and still go to.all her appointments.

Doughnutmum · 20/11/2022 19:42

@ChakaKhanfan can I ask where that advice comes from? I have to say I would send a kid in with a sore throat / yellow runny nose / hard cough / swollen glands if they were otherwise well, it looks on the cautious side to me

Onnabugeisha · 20/11/2022 19:43

cookiemonstermum · 20/11/2022 19:37

My daughter Will never get an award. She is under 6 different clinics and one in London so there is no way she can get perfect attendance and still go to.all her appointments.

My DC never did either as each of them had something chronic that affected attendance- asthma, ND, anorexia, etc. They infuriate me these perfect attendance awards. It rewards presenteeism not performance. This then bleeds over into the working world for adults. Its teaching children the wrong ethics and making children with chronic health conditions feel like shit. Grrr. I’m still salty and my youngest is in YR13. But it was awful being in the midst of it.

Im sick of the propaganda too about this % attendance = one grade lower on the SATs/11+ or GCSEs! They do at parents evenings and push on the kids. I had to counter all that brainwashing.

Doughnutmum · 20/11/2022 19:46

@Onnabugeisha totally agree. My younger DD had cancer and her attendance one year was 8% - which I actually felt was very impressive under the circumstances! She’s doing fine now but will never win attendance awards as she’s always going to have follow up appointments / scans etc - and she does get a bit upset every time attendance is mentioned in school.

ThereishopeafterAll · 20/11/2022 20:28

@Doughnutmum my childminder follows similar rules and it drives me Bananas. Yellow or green snot is not "infectious " the colour is from spent white blood cells. Swollen glands mean your immune system is working to fight something off, not always an indicator that they're unwell.

Sometimes my kid is lethargic because adhd means she doesn't sleep well, she'll liven up again soon enough.

She once tried to get me to pick her up with a temperature of 36.8 because this was the first time it was over 36.6.
What with being sent home for all of these reasons, combined with the childminders time off for sickness which is at least a day a month, "too hot to work" during the heatwave, etc etc I have run out of annual leave for when they're really sick and need to take unpaid parental leave. No other childcare options with availability locally so have to suck it up until they're in school.

ranyBoskie · 20/11/2022 21:42

Bubblesandsqueak1 · 26/09/2022 00:48

D and v keep off, fever over 39.5 degrees keep off covid symptoms i test and if negative send in, chicken pox keep off

Fever over 39.5?
Are you sure you meant to type that?

Midsizegal29 · 20/11/2022 21:48

I think it depends on the illness (D&V, sickness or really horrid snotty cold etc then absolutely yes!) and your child, who you know better than anyone. If they’re saying they feel ill but seem fine, there’s no harm sending them in and school should always send them home if they get worse. I’m a teacher and always feel so bad when kids are sent in with snot streaming out of their noses and coughing up a lung (even pre-covid) because they’re clearly miserable, not really getting anything out of the school day and are likely to pass it on to someone else.

As a side note- PLEASE keep your children at home if they have anything contagious 🙈 and tell the school if they do! (We had a child come in with chicken pox and home didn’t let us know until he lifted his top to show us the spots!)

MixedCouple · 17/03/2023 21:33

I think it is a total joke and unachievable. All children are different some have robust immune systems so they can attend school with sickness others can't.

I was the same as a child very sickly. Gp just kept saying the same hat it is tough luck and some people are sickly. Never bothered to teat even when asked many times. I never found out the root cause until I was 27 and my company paid for me to have a private health screening. Found out I was Vitamin Defiiciant across many and dangerously. But once I was on meds I barely got sick and even now I barely get affected. Covid felt like a very mild flu and other illnesses are over within 24hrs or not at all.
My LO gets sick and it do want affect me. I may get a slight head cold but barely there.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/03/2023 21:36

Honestly? Yes. I’m a teacher. DH was, until recently, a teacher. I’ve got 3 children. I’ve dosed them up with calpol and hoped for the best more times than I care to remember.

Echobelly · 17/03/2023 21:36

I'd send in with a cold, but if they have something when they're feverish and lethargic then not, and never with noro-type viruses as they're incapacitating and very catchy. But then I've been quite lucky, mine have seldom been that ill - and I do know some kids catch everything going and badly and sometimes it can't be helped.

larlypops · 17/03/2023 21:40

If it’s a sniffle then they can go in but temperatures and anything contagious then no.
I was called into an attendance meeting after 4 days of illness last year, explained reason and case closed.
kids get ill especially in winter they seem to be catching colds every so often.

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