Do you take your kids to school ill?

[LongStoryShorty]

So we got into trouble last year because DD was in reception and ill too much.

She was sincerely ill, but I did not take her to school ill either. She was only 4 and I was at home on maternity so we didn’t have a need to take her to school ill.

I don’t want to be told off again this year, and I am also working. It’s fine for me to have her home though if she’s ill.

Her school says you should aim at 100% attendance but anything under 94% is poor. That’s two weeks in a year! So basically don’t get sick…. But kids do get sick. My daughter is sick every other week, she was at home a lot during covid and hasn’t built up her immunity. So what do you do? I want to know what other parents are really doing? Do you take your sick kids to school or let them recover at home and F* the school attendance records.

at her school I see parents bringing kids to school who probably should have stayed at home so just wanted to know, what do you do? Is it actually quite common to just take kids to school ill? When we have been asking this question to the school staff they all say no she should be at home when she is ill, but yet they still give us trouble. So I am really lost at what is the norm.

I've had years of this shit. 😂

My kids are nearing the end of primary school, and their school have always been very strict on attendance, rewards for best class attendance each week, they display the results on weekly newsletter etc. Since covid, we regularly receive stern warnings in the newsletter NOT to send our children to school if they are unwell, to avoid spreading to others etc. So I've kept them home when unwell, lost pay and let my boss down, to then receive snotty letters/emails about attendance being unsatisfactory. You honestly can't win.

I still keep them home if they feel too ill to go to school because its whats best for them. Nothing worse than being stuck at school all day feeling ill.

Well the dragon in reception also has kids so you'd think she'd understand but she doesn't.

She told me that DS should be going into school with a high fever and an ear infection even though he was sobbing in pain.

I told her I was so appalled at her lack of compassion and empathy that I wanted to see the Head - she soon turned nice again. Heartless cow.

Horrible to think of kids at school battling on when clearly unwell.

Sniffles and playing with friends - send them in
Pain (like ear ache), fever, D&V, - keep at home

Actually last week DS was sick (it was phlegm) and sent home from school and we were told he mustn't return within 48 hours. Understandable

DS cried because he knew this meant no 100% attendance certificate this year.

We've been told to give children appropriate medication and send them in to school this year.

My kids get genuinely unwell A LOT. They had about 83% attendance every year of primary school. They go to school with coughs, colds and sore throats. Even a slight temperature otherwise they would never have been there! Luckily the older they've got, the less things they get I'll with and my eldest managed 89% attendance last year. I don't get het up about it. We do the work to catch ip but if they are seriously ill then they are ill. It's hard to juggle but between her dad and I and grandparents we tend to manage.

I totally agree with his. DH and I have busy stressful jobs so it's a hassle to take time off work. But obviously if they're really ill (which for me would mean temperature, vomiting or similar) then I would keep them off to look after them.
A mild cold, no.

We try so so hard to get them in. I’m always torn between‘I wouldn’t want to hear there were others in spreading stuff’ and ‘god they can’t miss any more.’ We tried sending them in for the lesser stuff then got called in and told we really needed to keep them out if they weren’t well. One year between chicken pox, an ear infection and a bug our 8 year old missed 35 days of school:(

Ps. Got top attendance every year when I was in school-I must ask my mum did I never get sick or did she push me in?!

Bit of sickness years ago was nothing. Even now kids throw up then feel better instantly. But some stick to rules to keep them off for couple of days to stop the spread. However most don't. Next day send kid in because they're fine but that spreads the bug. It's hard to stick to Doing the right thing when it can cost parents money and jobs, especially when others don't care

The best attendance any of my dc get is around 86-90% we just can’t improve it and I’ve stopped trying. It isn’t affecting them in any way negatively they get unwell a lot and it just is what it is

thanks for all the replies.

I’m relieved to know there are others whose kids get ill so much as well.

DD vomits pretty much every time she gets sick, which is pretty regularly every two weeks when in school (fine during the summer holidays). I’ve stopped telling them now as it’s not a stomach bug and if it was simply fever they wouldn’t tell her to stay off. by doing this I’ve managed to keep her at home so far only 3days this year. And yes she has gone in with colds, even ear infection. She just gets sick a lot. Her best friend is never sick, not doing any better than her at school though, so attendance is definitely not everything.

Just in case anyone is interested on the subject- I was researching why the government is putting so much pressure on schools to improve attendance and it’s actually because they follow a chart which shows how good attendance is linked with better results and they want to improve the results in schools in england to do better on an international standard.

How absurd though- clearly a child who’s unwell should not be attending therefore the pressure should not be put on parents whose children are off sick. It won’t be attendance and pushing children to the max that will improve their results. Children will learn best when they are happy and that means lots of time to be children- to just free play and roam outside. A few hours of good quality learning is definitely enough for young learners. If they want to improve the results they should first improve the children’s happiness- and that definitely won’t be improved by having children attend when they are sick.

Latest school newsletter - whole school attendance- 94% Let's aim higher!

Ok I'll send my child in who was sick last night into school. Got to keep the stats high 🙁 what do they expect ????

I think most parents struggle with this.

Ds is in year 7. On Friday he said he felt a bit off. No temperature, not sick or anything. So I sent him in. Usually, when he feels like this it’s because he is a bit tired. If I kept him off every time he felt a bit off, his attendance would be rubbish.

But last year in year 6 it was a nightmare. There was the covid rules for part of it. Which I get. Then throw in the odd sickness bug and there’s no way to keep attendance up. Then my mum suddenly died. Ds is ND and when that happened it really shook him. Everyone he has known who died, got sick and you knew it was coming. The fact that his Nana was there and then just not, devastated him. He started panicking that either I would die or my dad would just die, it was awful. He had one week off school and getting him back in was a nightmare. I asked for support from the school and got non. I got a text with a link to STAR (I think it was called STAR) and we had already contacted them.

Then near the end of the year they asked me to come into discuss his attendance. After receiving a long lecture from them I was so pissed off I pointed out the complete lack of support, getting him in when he was anxious to leave me, the fact that every time I had kept him off it was because it was their rules (I agree with the rules about not going in when sick, but how can I then be blamed) to keep him off. He had never had bad attendance before. In fairness the HT did apologise, but I don’t know what they expect people to do.

I have just had his year 7 parents evening which was excellent and in most areas he is in front of where he needs to be. He loves the school because they keep him interested and give him more complex work so he isn’t bored. He is learning far more and engaged with it. He isn’t behind for one year of poor attendance.

I get the point that attendance is linked to good outcomes. But I very much doubt that that the link is not impacted by other things. I also get this isn’t driven by the teachers themselves. But it essentially puts so many parents in a no win situation.

It's cruel to send an I'll child to school. They will be unhappy and too I'll to learn anything anyway.

They should be tucked up at home not infecting others. Very unfair on vulnerable DCs.

My ex head used to call parents to collect DCs too I'll to be in school.

Damn autocorrect. ill

"The dragon in reception" and whoever else are doing their job. For any child who has low attendance, they need to show that they have informed the parents, made an effort to engage, etc to the Attendance Officer for the council.

Some kids do genuinely get ill a lot. Some parents do keep their children home longer than needed. If you're just into Year 1 (I think?) they don't know which type you are yet. But regardless they have to send the letters. Complain to your MP etc about that side of it if you don't like it. That said, I have seen a lot of parents have hugely improved their attendance after intervention as they just haven't realised the impact. For example, losing the "extra day off once better" is something that could make a big difference.

As a teacher, it does have a classroom impact if you miss a lot of school. I had a parent last year complain about why her child had a lower mark in RE and Geography than she expected. But he had, one way or another, missed nearly all those lessons as we teach them weekly and he seemed to nearly always be off that day. I couldn't say, for example, "can see similarities between religions" when he missed our whole contrasting religion unit.

Wow, I can't believe what I'm reading in this thread!!! I haven't got a school age child yet, but when I do I will assess whether she's well enough to go in or not and if the school decide to question this, they will have to put up with my wrath!!

What authoritative bullshit!! How do parents put up with this? You know your child and it is YOUR decision if they're well enough for school. I really doubt attendance records have anything to do with performance - they should be looking at socioeconomics which will have a much bigger effect and trying to provide extra support where it can't be given at home.

Some colds are fine, but some colds can be awful?! I wouldn't go to work with a bad cold.

"Children will learn best when they are happy and that means lots of time to be children- to just free play and roam outside. A few hours of good quality learning is definitely enough for young learners."

I think you should just reflect back on this and think whether sometimes you are enjoying keeping your child home. Are you fighting the system a little? Would home schooling be better for you?

I had the same issue last year.. DD had 93% attendance, I was told to try to improve it this year.

annoyingly most of her days off last year was because she either had a cough or fever, and the school is still following the Covid guidance that they can’t come in with either of those things. In fact, they sent her home about 4 times last year so I don’t see how that’s my fault!

You can’t help it if you child is actually sick and it annoys the hell out of me when I hear of a kid being sent in and then throwing up in class, infecting everyone else.

I actually don’t agree that schools should be putting pressure on kids to be there 100% of the time, especially at such a young age. It’s teaching them that even if they’re poorly, or having a bad day, or haven’t slept much they have to ignore that and get on with it. I think most adults don’t do that, if we’re genuinely ill or unwell mentally, we have a day off.

Yeah this really frustrates me. It wouldn’t be fair to teaching staff to look after a class of sick children, and it’s not fair to the children either.
My daughter is usually pretty lucky and gets through with minimal illnesses. She got covid and only missed one day as it was half term.
My son on the other hand has Asthma and any cold goes right to his chest and he is miserable for at least 24 hrs with temperatures and food refusal. I wouldn’t send him to nursery like that. If it continues as he gets older it will be the same. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I only keep mine off if I wouldn't go to work. For me that's covid, sickness and / or diarrhoea, high temps and flu type symptoms.

My thoughts is as long as they would be able to carry on with the majority of their daily tasks then send them. School would phone to send them home if needed

I’m a childminder and I give this to my parents as a guide. Obviously they are younger but you get the idea;

I’m a primary school teacher and we apply the common sense rule. If they’re happy then keep them in; if they’re miserable and feeling rubbish then send them home. D&V/chicken pox/fever always send home.

Schools are required to send attendance letters etc and yes of course we have to keep an eye on persistent absences, but children get ill. It’s just what happens.

IME it’s normally the teachers spreading the illnesses - it’s so much harder logistically for us to be off than to just come in I’ll that we just don’t take time off unless we have to!

I am not poking fun. But you can show your wrath, at school staff, all that you want. It won’t change it.

and bringing your wrath down on teachers or school staff, when they are only doing their job is counter productive.