Honestly … are we miles behind where we should be?

[Catinthesun]

DS is 20 months. He seems a bit behind the other children in my NCT group, and I was also part of a November 2020/December 2020 chat thread on here and it’s recently been resurrected and DS seems miles behind so now I’m worried all over again …

My main concerns are language related. He has maybe seventeen words but definitely uses some more than others. He tends to say daddy, car and hiya and baby to the point of obsession, over and over. He says baby to describe any animal, so horses, sheep, frogs etc are all ‘baby.’

He can do the actions to songs like Hokey Cokey, sleeping bunnies, row row the boat. Tries to dress himself but not usually very well, feeds himself, can wash his hands, good independent skills in that sense.

Things he either can’t do or doesn’t do compared to others …

Doesn’t point to show understanding, e.g. ‘where is the cow, point to the train.’ Never has. He does point in other contexts. But it means I don’t know how much he understands, it might be he knows where his head, arm, foot is, but I don’t know.

No animal noises apart from moo and quack quack. Most toddlers I know seem to be able to do this.

Am I just being daft?

All kids do things at different paces and at different times. My son is same age as yours and still isn't walking confidently (he has got some issues with hypermobility that we have seen physio for), all other kids his age have been running around for nearly half a year now.

If you are seriously worried about his speech, speak to a health visitor (I found they were much more helpful than the GP), but the fact he has words and is learning and making progress makes me think he will pick things up in his own time. Try not to compare him to others, it really is the thief of joy.

Speak to HV if you are concerned.

Does he show understanding outside of pointing? I.e 'Can you go and get your dinosaur/sock?' My son had limited speech until he turned two and then it really came on and similar with other boys we know so yours may be the same.

He definitely does, can follow simple instructions re things like shoes, food / drink (although May sometimes misunderstand, e.g. bring an apple instead of raisins.)

Understands things like sit down, lie down, and so on.

I don’t actually have a HV … plus I do want to roughly gauge if I should be concerned or not.

He's only 20 months? Sounds normal to me

This sounds normal to me but no harm in ringing health visitor helpline

There is a Bluey episode that covers this called Baby race,

I was so so so worried about my daughters speech when she was this age. I’d say she had only a couple of words actually. She also didn’t have any interest in animal noises and children much younger than her seemed to know them…I now realise she actually has no interest in animals and that was probably the reason 😂😂😂

to put your mind at ease, my daughter is now 3.5 and doesn’t stop talking. I think her speech is possibly ahead of her peers, it’s at least where it should be. She started late but seems to be making up for lost time now!!

i did speak to my (lovely, helpful) HV multiple times and she always told me not to worry. They don’t do anything until 2 anyway, so wait until then before seeking support. I suspect your little one is just fine, but I just wanted to say I know how you feel xxx

Hi. You’re not daft. You’re just a parent.
At the same age my son had very limited language. I arranged a hearing test with NHS speech and language therapist via our GP which ruled out that. His speech came on a tonne all of a sudden when he turned two. I didn’t do anything special to bring him on either. Now, he’s almost 3, most people we meet comment on how well he speaks.
If you’re concerned, speak to your GP. Put your mind at rest x

It’s good to know others think he sounds normal. I read these posts and they got me VERY concerned.

He’s been telling us for a while now when he’s doing a wee/poo, so sounds like I might have to buy a potty to at least introduce him to it. - ds can’t do this. He can hold his wee to a certain extent as sometimes when you take off his nappy he thinks it’s hilarious to have a little wee but he can’t say wee or poo or equivalent words.

he currently speaks more single word in Punjabi than English which should be interesting at his new nursery but his English is pretty good too. He doesn't know the English and Punjabi for many words though, he knows one or the other ds can’t even speak English

DD speaks non stop! In welsh mostly but is now picking up lots of English as above!

My son is also getting ready to potty train. He tells us whenever he is going to pee or poo and hates having a dirty nappy. He is held back slightly by an issue he has with hypermobility in his joints so isnt walking confidently yet, but as soon as that happeneds, we will be potty training. For now, its potty/nappy change as soon as he tells us to encourage him to carry on telling usHe can also talk for England, I'm constantly amazed by how fast his vocabulary is expanding and how quickly he picks up words

My dd has grown so much 😭 she talks so much and knows all her body parts, knows all animal noises, she's also ready to start potty training too.

These all seem MILES ahead of us, not just a few more words but really advanced.

@Catinthesun those examples remind me very much of all the people who raved about their babies sleeping through the night every night from 2/3/4 weeks old (compared to my non sleeper who slept in 20 min intervals until he was 18 months old)
Except eventually it turned out "all night" is 5 straight hours, or "all night" with dream feeds at 10pm and 2am and they started their day at 6 or "all night" after they are brought into parents bed after the first wake up.
Nothing wrong with doing any of those things but it's not all night to me and just showed how different everyone's kids are

I'd try not to worry he's sounds fine to me. My sons language was similar at that age and a speech therapist (who I work with) told me that under 2 as long as he was understanding they wouldn't be worried about the lack of words at this stage. Example she used was if you say time for a bath will he go to the stairs or time for the park will he get his shoes etc

Totally normal.

chill and enjoy him.

ante natal and NCT groups were competitive for first born’s achievements in my experience

My dd used to absorb things and then suddenly reveal a new skill so a plateau then a leap. She'd do a lot of things 'late' but then master them quickly so end up 'ahead' of her peers. It all levelled out by school age

The other children sound quite advanced. Mine were no where near potty training at that age and had no idea how to tell me if they’d done a wee. My first said only a few words at that age. Would quite often say them once and then never say them again, much to my frustration. I don’t think he sounds that behind. Can’t remember about pointing.

Baby race on Bluey made me cry. I remember that feeling so well. You’ll be having your two year review with HV soon so that might help.

EYFS professional here - he sounds absolutely perfect!

Keep doing what you're doing - talk to him, engage with him, enjoy him.

Those posts are all from a November / December 2020 thread on here, and they do sound really advanced to me - one is saying ‘more snack Mama.’

He seems a little behind the others in my NCT group, it’s hard to say.

Thanks @Nix32 - I keep thinking he’s fine, then I see children nicely pointing to the horse, the postbox, the train in a book and I think … oh dear!

Our dd had no understandable words at that age , just babbling still but most definitely understood us ie if we asked her to get something or point.
She had glue ear and other serious speech issues and had intensive speak therapy for years.
She is now as fluent as any other child but it was a hard slog.
Get his hearing tested and listen to your
intuition.
I knew something was seriously wrong with dd and pushed and pushed for help.
I'm not saying this to scare you but it's possible there is an issue so don't leave it.
She was walking at 10 months though as I really believe they either get the physical side or speech side at that young age but not both.

He has around sixteen/seventeen words, can I ask what it is you think is an issue?

Hi I have been a nanny for 35 years seen many children that are advanced at this age . It means nothing just go with the flow it’s amazing how many children say few words and then overnight just start talking and don’t stop .

My ds had about 15 words at 24 months though he clearly understood instruction. My HV scheduled the “two year” check at 27 months and said most children come on leaps between 24 and 27 months. Right enough by 27 months he spoke in full sentences and it would have been impossible to count all the words in his vocabulary.

just keep chatting and reading books together. I would not worry if he’s hearing and understanding instructions and connecting in other ways.

Honestly OP, he sounds great, please stop stressing! With regards to others saying that their child is 'ready to potty train', that could still be a long way away from actually being potty trained - I'd take that with a massive pinch of salt. It's possible at that age but not common at all based on the children I know. My Facebook Nov 2019 babies has a huge range of children on there and the majority have been potty training from probably Feb onwards (so 2 1/4 yo) - a good number haven't started yet and that's fine. We did it at Easter (so just shy of 2 1/2 yo) and I'd say she was among the earlier ones but it's just luck of the draw as to when it's the right time for your child.

If you Google the 2yo questionnaire that HV do with you that might help - if he's only 17 months he's still got ages before that though. I found DD had a massive leap around 18m with speech and signing.

He’s 20 months but thank you.

You'll be invited to 2 year review with the HV service (ask if you arent) where they will go through an ages and stages questionnaire with you. If there are concerns as a result, this will trigger any further referrals. As a result of my sons at 24 months, he was referred to audiology to have his hearing checked, speech and language, and paediatrics. At 2 and a half he was diagnosed as autistic (which we had known ourselves from about 18 months old).

If you don't get invited to the 2 year review, contact your HV service and ask for one.

Sorry OP, lost track of numbers there clearly! If you look back a couple of months I bet you'll see a big difference in him (watching old videos is quite nice for that!) You're both clearly doing a good job so please do not worry.