9 month old not standing, no words

[NewMomma21]

Hi everyone,

Posting in the hope I’ll get some reassurance.

I have a 9 month old. I thought he was reaching milestones but recently I’ve become a bit worried. I am in a parenting group with other 9 month old and he seems to be the only baby who is not pulling up to stand. He will stand briefly with some support from furniture but mostly drops to the floor.

Although he is vocal he also seems to be the only baby in the group who is not saying dada and mama. Other babies have up to 8 words and we don’t even have dada.

He has commando crawled since about 8 months and has been sitting since about 5.5 months but now I feel he has stalled completely compared to other babies.

I know comparison is the thief of joy but I’m really starting to worry that he is not progressing.

Has anyone any experience of similar? Thanks

My son walked at 1 months
My daughter at 8 months
My son had a few words by 2
My daughter was talking in sentences at 8 months
I could on with many more similar examples

As adults they are both totally normal/average

My DS2 is 14m. Only crawled at 9m, pulling to stand around 11m, cruising along furniture at 12m. Now is beginning to be able to stand unaided and take very few steps on his own. Not yet walking though as takes few steps, then falls and just crawls off!

No words at 9m but did babble a bit. Now at 14m he can say about 10 words... but only me and his dad understand those words! He can understand a lot of what I say now and follow instruction though.

OP your baby sounds right on track. Dw.

I don’t get this, is it parody? Your baby walked at 1 month?

My DS was very late to stand and then walk. He now plays Rugby to a high standard. Early 20s
My DD was the last to meet any physical milestones in our baby group. I know where you're coming from. She is now very athletic. ( 10 y o)
Don't worry.

What baby is saying 8 words pls? I’d love to meet them.

My DD was crawling at 6 months, walking independently at 11 months but doesn’t say any words. She’s now 15 months and has never said mama or dada etc. The most she says is ‘babababa.’ I wouldn’t compare. My daughter was quick to crawl and walk but just doesn’t seem interested in talking yet.

Just be patient and try not to compare too much

He sounds fine to me. My DDs didn't speak until they were nearly two and both were viewed as very articulate by their infant school teachers. It's a marathon not a sprint 😀
I thought this book was really good for language and general development support, it's an old one but still good. Babytalk by Sally Ward.

post edited by MNHQ at poster's request.

Another one who had 2 very different children, one was yapping away at 10 months, didn’t stand up until 20, the other walked at 9 months, first words at 18. We were beside ourselves with both (I’d say the public health nurse was fed up of us bothering her about it!!)

Theyre all chatting shit, I've been to every baby group going with my 3 girls - 9 month olds don't talk. Mama dada maybe, not 8 words that's nonsense. Pulling up to stand is hit and miss as well. My eldest didn't even crawl til 11 months, my youngest walked at 10 months. Makes absolutely no difference in the long run. Not a sign of anything. Just try not stress and take these 9 month olds apparently tap dancing round reciting Shakespeare with a massive pinch of salt

I think they're exaggerating what their babies can do. None of mine talked that early. One walked independently at 10mo, one at 12, one at 14.
I met a boy who only just started walking at 26mo today! And he was fine just took him longer to get there.

Dd1 was cruising at 6.5 months and said first word at about 8/9 (very early btw) and even I wasn't worried when dd2 had done neither at 9 months. By 15 months she still wouldn't even put her feet on the ground let alone stand on them and didn't say any words but could make an animal sound ie if you asked what a noise a duck makes she could make a quack noise. She stood up eventually (holding on) at 16m then started charging around with impressive balance like she'd been doing it forever by 17m. She's the one that could ride a bike age 3 whilst dd1 was about 7. She was referred to speech therapy as she still barely said a word at 2.5 but by 3 and in primary 1 the staff were commenting on her advanced vocabulary (tbf dd1 was a chatter box too but it was the complex words used in context that stood out with dd2). Now aged 9 she's bright but fairly average - it all levels out. You honestly don't even need to think about worrying at 9 months as long as she can sit up and babble a bit.

I'd also be sceptical re the claims in a parenting chat. Probably vastly over exaggerated if they are ALL doing it. Obviously the odd child will but it's not usual for all of a group to be at that level

Ditch the group.

@RedRobyn2021 i noticed this as well on the What to Expect forum, which is mostly US. I wondered if it's a product of US mat leave being so rubbish and so babies going into more structured childcare earlier? I think they would be very stressed out at our HV approach to wait and watch until age 2!

I went to baby sign with DD1 at 9 months and the woman running it raved about how her baby, a few weeks older than mine, was signing for ‘more‘ already. I was ill for a few weeks and we couldn’t go, during which time DD also started this hand movement that looked like she’s was signing ‘more’, which was actually just the beginning of clapping. It clicked then that the other baby wasn’t signing at all. The same woman also claimed her baby had already said ‘hello’, in mandarin. I think sleep deprivation and PFB syndrome can make you delusional.

DD2 actually did say her first word at 9ms (gone, whenever someone would leave the room), but her speech at 2 and a half is no better than DD1s was at the same age. She picked up words fast but they all even out eventually.

DC3 is 9ms and has just in the last few days started pulling to stand, he can’t master crawling though, he just sort of belly flops round everywhere.

(also, i have a degree in psychology and post gradin education. With DD1 I think it actually made me more paranoid and I over analysed it all, measuring up in my head whether she was meeting her milestones. She actually met everyone bang on time, but is now under assessment for autism. There were no early signs at all. With DC2 and 3 I just learnt to try and relax about it all and enjoy them whilst they’re so little).

I've noticed that too - I was on a couple of baby led weaning groups where there was a lot of chatter about babies sitting independently and there seemed to be a huge difference between the British group I was on, where the talk was mainly about what to do if your baby couldn't sit at 7/8/9 months, and the mostly US one which was full of posts about independently sitting 3/4 month olds. I'm not sure whether it was a real difference in the average child or a cultural difference about whether it was more 'acceptable' to post if you were concerned vs if you were posting proudly.

He sounds perfectly fine OP. They all develop at different paces.

The first rule of parenting is to ignore stuff like this. Once you’re done ignoring the walking and talking milestones, you’ll be better equipped to ignore when your friend’s kids learned their colours, could write their name and use the potty. After that comes ignoring whose kids can dress themselves first, leading up to what book band everyone’s kid is on, all the way through who’s entering for selective schools, who’s on the sports team and what grade other people’s children are in music. Finally, you get to ignore other people’s children’s exam results and university entrance.

Start ignoring now and you remove one area of stress from your life.

Ds didn't crawl until he was ten months, he didn't move very much at all, and then he crawled, climbed the stairs, pull to stand and cruised in like the same week. He was walking confidently by 13 months. He had about ten words by then, but he was still at the same ten words by 18 months. Then suddenly, sentences.

My DD just turned one, and she's been walking confidently for two months. She was using speech at about seven months - she said 'gen', (again), 'hiya' and 'yeah'. She lost all of those words when she started crawling. She now has about ten words, but inconsistent - one week she says woof for doggy, one week 'pies' (surprise) but not a lot consistently.

They are all different!

@NewMomma21 hmm, my 13mo only started pulling himself to stand a few weeks ago, and no words yet. It hadn’t even entered my mind to be concerned 🤷🏻‍♀️

My nephew walked at 9 months, my 2 were both 14 months. Honestly it’s only one of these things that seems a big deal at that stage but it’s not like you can tell now they are much older.

Your LO sounds fine and I wouldn’t be concerned at all about his development from what you have said but if you are, speak to the HV :)

So not even babies you’ve seen IRL? Most of the parents are probably talking shit.

i haven’t read any of the other replies. But for some solidarity, please don’t worry. I spent so much time worrying about mine and comparing (baby classes are so good, but also the worst place to be), but my worrying was for nothing.

Mine didn’t commando crawl until 10.5 months, crawl on all fours until 13 months and didn’t walk until 16 months. I had to sit and watch everyone else’s much younger babies pass the milestones mine had missed . I also had friends with children that swore blind their kid was the most advanced child to have ever existed and could recite the alphabet at 13 months old (not joking)…needless to say when we went on a play date and not one single word came out of their mouth while mine was saying a few simple words, it was pretty obvious it was all a load of old tosh!

I remember my HV saying that at the 1 year assessment it’s perfectly normal for one or two areas of development to be behind schedule (a checklist). Mine was ‘borderline delayed’ for gross motor skills at 14 months, but scored top marks for social skills and pretty much everything else. I found that once mine started walking their speech came on leaps and bounds. Some babies do it all at once, mine liked to master one skill before moving to the next (just like me)

I will also add, that at certain points in their development, I was told it’s common for areas to stall while their brain is developing. You may find that nothing seems to happen and then all of a sudden your little one can do loads of new things almost over night!

I think you always get babies that meet milestones miles in advance and of course their parents want to share...but it does make those who haven't done these things feel bad (even if it isn't a milestone yet).

My baby turned 9months - she was sitting unassisted at 3 months(!), she's wanted to be on her feet since about 12 weeks. By constrast she didn't roll from her belly to back until 7 months, she's been crawling a few weeks and only when that happened has she started to pull herself up. She can stand (supporting herself on things, but not by herself). Literally a day or so ago she started saying baba (it's more like baaa baaa - like a sheep), until then it was just noises rather than the start of words. Similarly though, whilst she can say baba - its just noise, rather than her consciously knowing its a word.

It all depends on your interpretation of "they can do x, y, z" - your baby is perfectly normal. A friend claims her baby says lots of words - I've heard her and it's just babble noises.

Your baby is fine and it's not a competition. They all get there in their own time.

I think this is good advice - my baby (from the previous reply) did quite a lot then didn't achieve anything for a while and has totally smashed a few targets within days of each other.