9 month old not standing, no words

[NewMomma21]

Hi everyone,

Posting in the hope I’ll get some reassurance.

I have a 9 month old. I thought he was reaching milestones but recently I’ve become a bit worried. I am in a parenting group with other 9 month old and he seems to be the only baby who is not pulling up to stand. He will stand briefly with some support from furniture but mostly drops to the floor.

Although he is vocal he also seems to be the only baby in the group who is not saying dada and mama. Other babies have up to 8 words and we don’t even have dada.

He has commando crawled since about 8 months and has been sitting since about 5.5 months but now I feel he has stalled completely compared to other babies.

I know comparison is the thief of joy but I’m really starting to worry that he is not progressing.

Has anyone any experience of similar? Thanks

I’ve only known 9 month olds gabble and babble. As for walking, nope, mine never got off her bum until 13 months. She never crawled, just bum shuffled.

Ah, so you haven't actually seen any of the babies saying these eight words - you don't meet up in person? I think if you saw them 'speaking' you'd feel a lot less worried...

some babies are advanced in some areas and some arnt, my kids could both run and climb by 13 months but didnt babble and talk until 2 years old, My daughter didnt even play with toys much until 2ish where as my son loved toys at 6 months

I have a 14month old - she just started supported standing at 13months and i think last week her first word might have been "bubble" 🤔😂 In any case, our HV isn't worried so you shouldn't be at 9 months!

You need to watch this!

I have three kids, they all did things at their own pace. First son was cruising at 8 months, second refused to walk until nearly two!

Our daughter is a similar age to your baby, she has crawled a handleful of times, zero pull up attempts and nothing close to any words.

One of the worst parts of this is that I have a degree and post grads in education and an additional degree in psychology so I know intellectually that development is not linear and occurs differently for all babies particularly in the first year but I just felt very anxious that he seemed to be lagging behind his peers in this group who do seem to be quite and advanced bunch

Whatever about the words I do have a niggling worry about not pulling to stand but the dedicated play area we have, and actually the kitchen in general, does not have anything to pull up on to so I’ll try remedy that and see how we go.

I know it's hard but try not to compare your child with other children it will only lead to you worrying ,they all do different things at different times . This especially will hold you in good stead for when they go to school where you are bound to come across some competitive parents and children who are better at some things than yours.

Ps the parents in this group of yours are fibbers 🙂

My baby is almost 10 months and only pulled himself to stand for the first time tonight. He's now crying because he can't figure out how to do it again 🤣 if you are very worried maybe contact your health visitor so that they can assure you that your baby isn't missing milestones

Try not to worry, they do things at their own pace. My DS was the only 10 month old not crawling at baby group, people asked me and I honestly didn't let it get to me. He had reached other milestones etc just fine until crawling. He started at 11 months and was then walking at 14 months so he ended up walking before some of his fellow baby group babies 😅 unless you have a whole list of signs to worry about, don't let it worry you. He'll get there!

Sounds like my 3 DC, me, my dad… DC3 is nearly 11 months, not crawling, not talking, not standing, mostly just sits there and makes weird honking noises or yells random syllables. It can be demoralising when everyone else’s babies are reciting Shakespeare while pirouetting around but honestly the range of “normal” development is huge so try to ignore the braggers and the faux sympathetic “oh is DC not talking yet? I can never get little Tarquin to stop!” I'm sure they will catch up eventually. You didn’t drop them on their head did you?”. Any concerns you can speak to the HV.

He is nine months old.
Way too early to be worried Bout talking or walking
So long as he sitting up steadily and holding toys
He is fine

I'd recommend watching the Bluey 'Baby race' episode (YouTube link bit it's on Disney and I player):
It's a children's programme but it's good and this episode is about this feeling and the worry that Mums have about their baby.

DS commando crawled and didn’t walk til 16 months or so
I don’t remember him being able to speak any sort of words at that age
Poor DS first sentence was
mummy , me bleugh
he had a dreadful tummy bug and had filled his nappy with some awful diarrhoea ( he’s 28 now , and has a first class degree , and can walk and talk nicely , but that sticks in my memory 🤢

Just popping back again after you mentioned having stuff to pull up on, our house is the same but I've found the best things to be:

• Sofa with the cushions pulled off so it's not as high for him to reach up to

• A sturdy plastic box filled with really heavy stuff on the floor. Having a proper edge to hold onto seems to help.

His favourite is still using me or his dad to clamber on though!

Oh and me again sorry 😂 my son does pull up to stand but he doesn't crawl properly (which tbh has made me worry sometimes!), he still army crawls - just shows that they all do things in a different order

Honestly I would take what some parents say with a pinch of salt, my DD is 1 in 3 weeks and still isn’t crawling and/or pulling herself up but she’ll do it when she’s ready! She’s only got Mama as far as words go but she babbles to herself constantly so I’m sure she’s making sense in her mind.

a girl in my NCT group was convinced her baby was showing signs of crawling at 8 weeks and that he was some sort of prodigy. She stopped talking to people who’s babies dared to do things before hers. It’s so silly.

your DS sounds absolutely fine! I don’t know any 9 month olds that can say that many words? Their parents are probably counting words that could have been something but baby just was babbling. just enjoy the time with him and try not to worry! I go back to work soon and she starts nursery and time just has gone too fast!

My cousin walked at 8 months and my DS at around 22 months - both can walk well now!
Sounds fine to me

Just wondering but is the group full of Americans? I was in a wonder weeks group and honestly I don't know what those people are doing to their babies but they all seemed to meet milestones incredibly early. Wasn't like that in any other parenting group.

DD only started pulling to start around 10 months. I don't know, sounds normal to me

These are great suggestions thank you so much for them!

My son crawled at 8 months, started pulling himself up at 10 months, walked at 14/15 months.

Speech wise at 12 months he only really said no and dada. Took him much much longer to say mummy than daddy. Still few words at 24 months (but signed a lot from 12mths onwards). By 28 months he has loads of words - has been such a change over the past few weeks. Has only just begun trying to sing but hasn't quite got it yet.

I hope that reassures you that there is a very wide range of normal. Life is not a race.

My four were all at least 16 months before they walked. My eldest daughter was 2 and a half and could only say Mummy, Daddy, and her brother's one syllable name. One of my grandsons was over a year before he crawled and 18 months when he walked. They are all perfectly normal intelligent adults. As is my friend's daughter who at 8 months called her mother to come and help her down from the sideboard she'd climbed on. "Duck Mummy!" (Stuck, Mummy!)

Do yourself a favour and stop comparing your kid to other kids.

Thank you all for the kind replies I feel a bit better going to bed tonight ❤

My little boy only commando crawled until 11 months. He has all of a sudden started normal crawling and can stand by 12 months. He isn’t walking yet and has friends a month younger who are but I’ve stopped worrying myself about it now. They’ll do it when they want to and it will make absolutely no difference to the rest of their life. I’m a teacher and it would be impossible to tell who commando crawled, who crawled, who walked, who talked and when. Comparison is definitely the thief of joy!