Tonbridge; Sevenoaks or....?

[Kw779]

My DS is scheduled to join either Tonbridge or Sevenoaks in Sept 23 – decisions are coming quickly!

We have always had a preference for Tonbridge given its single sex status, strong academics and team sport status in the likes of cricket and rugby. Plus, he is less suited for IB. However I have heard a number of disturbing stories this year about incidents involving physical violence, vaping, bullying, and accepted use of foul language.

I had always taken three things for granted in my view of Tonbridge – good academics, strong team sports and pastoral strength. However I am now questioning the last point and wondering are these the type of cohort I want my DS being a part of? And is there a system in place to provide the necessary discipline? He may end being the victim in all this or follow the pack as a perpetrator? Neither is a good outcome.

At the same time one hears more stories about the prevalence or at least availability of drugs at Sevenoaks.
Are these schools doing all they can to make sure that what they say on the tin from a pastoral perspective is what is delivered?

We have just taken the same decision OP, ultimately we went for Sevenoaks. I liked the house system at Tonbridge for the pastoral oversight but when we went to choose his house there seemed to be a lot of arrogance and bravado happening in the common rooms. Sport seemed to be everything and my son just isn't sporty.

I have my concerns about the IB and we may move him for 6th form but that's a bridge we'll cross later.

What I liked about Sevenoaks was that it wasn't for sport just to be the best, it was about sport supporting the academic side and the development of character and a love of sport for their future lives. They also don't just focus on the traditional sports and there's an opportunity to try so much. I'm hoping DS finds his thing.

The small tutor groups (8 kids) were also appealing and I think having girls around would help him, some of his closest friends are girls.

On the pastoral side, Sevenoaks has put in a lot of work recently to improve its reputation. I don't know if it's working, we'll see, but they're saying the right things.

Have you considered Caterham?

As a native of this area, what you are saying about Tonbridge has always been true. The boys at Tonbridge were also the only ones continually implicated in sexual assault incidents. Really horrible pack culture there.

Sevenoaks is a much nicer school, and honestly, drugs are a problem in all private schools so it's kind of a moot point.

@HandyGirl76 @bologneseandbabies many thanks for your thoughts. I share a lot of your thinking. #tonbridge #tonbridgeschool #sevenoaksschool