Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Cafcass

11 replies

SJBB · 17/08/2022 05:18

I'm absolutely heartbroken
My ex took me to court to try and get a change of residency, it's been going on for so so long but each time it's gone in our favour, they ordered a section 7 cafcass report and it has gone ahead, the meeting happened and she was really nice talking to us, advised there is no way that she is going to suggest a change of residency etc , then she met the children and we got the report back, she has completely ignored all of my concerns I raised about their time with their dad, said I was lying about any abuse I had during our relationship because I managed to establish a co-parenting relationship after the split, she went through the whole report saying it wouldn't be beneficial to move the children, then the final note was that they should.move to their dads and spend time with me!!
I can't breathe! The longest I have spent away from my children is 9 nights, and that was this summer when they were with him!!! I'm so heartbroken I honestly don't know what to do with myself, I have a meeting with my solicitor today but I just know that this is it, I have lost my flesh and blood forever

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 17/08/2022 05:29

Is there a record of the meeting?

srjmwj · 17/08/2022 05:33

No, I so wish I recorded the whole thing, she didn't say she was either

WindyKnickers · 17/08/2022 05:33

I'm afraid I don't know enough about the workings of the family court to help you but I write reports for the criminal courts and the judges only use it as a guide/for info. The final decision is theirs based on a range of factors. I imagine that, depending on their age, the views of the children have some weight. Is there a reason why you can't work towards a 50/50 arrangement? Good luck, this sounds very stressful.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Family law General parenting Relationship problems
srjmwj · 17/08/2022 05:38

Because in the things she did with the children the put a 10 on the time with dad and a 5 with me....however of course you are going to do that if dad gives you all the junk food you want, unlimited TV and tiktok time, and does all the fun parent stuff,I do the school runs, homework etc obviously we take them out all of the time as well but we are restricted to every other weekend, with it being the summer holidays we have been going out every day, but in the holidays so far I have only had them for 8 days!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

srjmwj · 17/08/2022 05:59

After the first court it went in my favour, so they lived with me but they went to his every other weekend and oncr in the week, which has been working really well , the children, my ex and I are happy with it, he just wanted another day!!

srjmwj · 17/08/2022 06:20

Because in the things she did with the children the put a 10 on the time with dad and a 5 with me....however of course you are going to do that if dad gives you all the junk food you want, unlimited TV and tiktok time, and does all the fun parent stuff,I do the school runs, homework etc obviously we take them out all of the time as well but we are restricted to every other weekend, with it being the summer holidays we have been going out every day, but in the holidays so far I have only had them for 8 days!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

After the first court it went in my favour, so they lived with me but they went to his every other weekend and oncr in the week, which has been working really well , the children, my ex and I are happy with it, he just wanted another day!!

WindyKnickers · 17/08/2022 06:27

Is there any reason you didn't want him to have another day with them? 4 nights out of 14 isn't much. If their dad doesn't actually want to be the RP then I don't see why Cafcass are involved all. I'm sure your solicitor will help you unravell it all.

srjmwj · 17/08/2022 06:44

The next step was for another day, he started the court proceedings with a whole lot of lies about me, then retracted then said they were true again, I even asked him on what'sapp what day he wanted but he just ignores me all the time

TheOrigRights · 17/08/2022 08:56

Why are cafcass involved?
They would not normally be so for a standard request for change in residency? And they only talk to children in complex cases.
The report actually says "OP is lying about abuse"?
Why are you opposed to your ex having one more day?

srjmwj · 17/08/2022 11:03

Because of the lies that he has told they decided that the section 7 was neededthey talked to the children because of their ages, the report says 'im not saying that I don't believe that the abuse had happened in the relationship, but they have managed to maintain the children visiting and staying with each other before the court order. I am not apposed to him having any more days at all, I asked him numerous times if he would like them more days but each time it's ignored

Mum2023 · 25/05/2023 18:34

samw thing happening to me cafcass needs to be acceptable on every level I’m happy to start a group and get our voices heard

New posts on this thread. Refresh page