I'm a ftm. DD is 7 months and is a lovely baby- generally sleeps through the night, doesn't cry much, and people tell me how lucky I am. And I suppose I am, but I'm starting to struggle with motherhood. It's lonely. It's hard. It's tiring. I spend 24 hours per day with a baby. When I'm not with her, I'm worrying about her or having to express milk.
She takes very short naps during the day- no longer than 30 minutes. For 1 of them I make myself a cup of tea and sit down and try to relax, but 20 mins/half an hour per day isn't much.
I don't have many friends and have lost a few since becoming pregnant so I don't have many people to go for a coffee with. My parents live 6 hours away and DHs parents have both passed away, so I have no family support close to hand. DH works long hours mon-fri and has a long commute. We live in a very rural village so I'm also isolated in that respect.
DH has her whilst I go to a yoga class on a Saturday, which is bliss, but afterwards I have to express milk in the car before I can drive home, so all that relaxation is kind of marred.
I'm sorry for the rant. I just need to get things off my chest instead of bottling it up. If I try to tell friends/family how I feel, they tell me how lucky I am to be on maternity, say that it could be so much worse as I could have a difficult baby, how the time will fly, so I should cherish it or tell me how they had it so much worse and I'm lucky to have a supportive husband.
I cook all the meals as DH can't boil an egg, but he does all the washing up and we both do bits of housework as and when we need doing (we're not OCD about the house being a show home!) DH will hold and play with DD if she's still awake when he gets home from work or at weekends, so I am lucky with him in that sense, but sometimes I feel like it's not enough. Am i being selfish?!
I'm just exhausted. Mentally, emotionally and physically. Motherhood is so hard.
Sorry for the long post.