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Parenting

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Original poster

What's harder? Newborn or toddler?

113 replies

MyNameIsMarya · 30/07/2022 20:04

Just wondering. The last 3 months were hellish.
Baby constantly screamed (colicky) and isn't sleeping well at night yet.
No smiles until just recently. Just constant madness.
But I hear some people say toddlers are even worse.....
And then again some say toddlers are easier.
What do you think?

Post edited by MNHQ

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Aconitum · 30/07/2022 20:05

It's just as hard but it's different as you get something back🤣🤣

IDontDrinkTea · 30/07/2022 20:05

Newborn days are bliss in comparison to toddlerdom (and I had a baby with CMPA that didn’t get diagnosed til she was 6m, screamed constantly and didn’t sleep for longer than an hour…)

Hugasauras · 30/07/2022 20:07

We've had two very easy newborns! Days where 3yo is at nursery and I'm home with 6wo DD are so chilled.

But I think toddler is def more fun.

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Imissprosecco · 30/07/2022 20:08

Depends on the baby and toddler in question! I have both at the moment and right now find the toddler harder to deal with. But he also makes me laugh every single day, whereas with a new baby you might as well have a potato

Comedycook · 30/07/2022 20:09

Definitely found toddlers harder work.

I love the newborn stage.

suzyscat · 30/07/2022 20:09

It depends entirely on the child. Some babies sleep easily and are pretty chill, some are awake round the clock and/or colicky. My first child was a really chilled toddler but my youngest was much harder.

By your second child the baby stage is easier even if they don't sleep much because you're more confident and have encountered most things before.

That said, I definitely think it's easier when you can put them down and they don't move.

All in all I'm assuming the teen years are going to be the hardest.

Take comfort in the fact that you can solve most of their problems with cuddles, milk and calpol at this stage. Much easier than friendship troubles and party politics when they start school imo.

Cakeandslippers · 30/07/2022 20:09

If I could take them from 18mo I'd have 10 kids! Toddlers are bloody hard (one of mine especially) but I love it compared to newborn days, I had 2 very hard babies and the first year with each was just relentless. Toddlers are so much easier! I think it might be the other way round if you get an easy newborn but it's all dependent on so many things.

Disneyblueeyes · 30/07/2022 20:11

Newborn.
Mostly because it's quite boring and relentlessly so.

Toddler at least she actually makes me laugh and I can take her places and get a reaction from her.

Skinnermarink · 30/07/2022 20:12

I don’t know, in retrospect I had an ‘easy’ newborn but it was a bit boring. He was basically a very adorable Maris Piper with a face on. Now he’s sociable and on the move, I feel like I’m constantly in a whirlwind, it’s magic but I do sort of miss those still early weeks.

if I had to pick though, I prefer this stage to newborn.

WorriedMillie · 30/07/2022 20:12

For me, newborn was way harder, DD was a happy little toddler and very easy

Eslteacher06 · 30/07/2022 20:12

It's always hard but in different ways. There's a lovely stage between 3 months an 1 year...the rest is a shit show....sorry lol.

cavebaby · 30/07/2022 20:12

Toddlers are exhausting during their waking hours but they generally sleep okay, that's the key for me. I feel like I've aged about ten years after some days with my toddler DD, but then I get 8 solid hours sleep to recover. Newborns it's just relentless day and night.

ItsDangerousInKingsmarkham · 30/07/2022 20:14

Toddler much much worse for me but then I absolutely loved the newborn stage.

I think 0-6 months is my favourite age. I'd quite happily have a newborn forever. 12-24 months is my least favourite by a long way. It's boring and relentless and utterly exhausting, just constant behaviour/destruction management with no decent conversation etc.

Sorry if that's not what you want to hear - every child is different and every parent likes different parts.

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 30/07/2022 20:14

Newborn for me without a doubt. Like a previous poster I had two children with allergies and the oldest wasn’t diagnosed until 11 months. I don’t function well without sleep. My youngest is now 3 and still wakes and it going through a ‘challenging phase’ but it’s so much easier than new born.

HorribleHerstory · 30/07/2022 20:15

If you’ve just got one, toddler.

If you’ve got more than one all bets are off.

My hardest bit was one toddler, one in primary, one in secondary. Toddler strops, school runs, overtired reception child, tweenage angst and completely different needs, two sets of school rules, two sets of parents evenings and homework and different bedtimes, two of them weren’t sleep through the night, we’d all be up at 3am with the oldest screaming at the youngest to go to sleep, all that and just one bathroom lol. But I was also caring for a terminally ill adult at the time, so that might have coloured things as everyone was sad and stressed.

blebbleb · 30/07/2022 20:15

Depends on the baby/toddler I guess. My 2 year old was a very easy baby. He's definitely not that high maintenance even now but it's certainly more challenging then the early months.

A580Hojas · 30/07/2022 20:16

Teenager. Brace yourselves.

Caspianberg · 30/07/2022 20:16

Ds was hard work at a baby. Wouldn’t be put down the first 12 months and never slept day or night. I couldn’t even go to the toilet without him screaming blue in the face and holding his breath.

As a toddler, he’s also hard work. Never sits for 10 seconds, unclips pram and legs it down the high street. But he is easier than as a baby in that he can now occupy himself at home for a bit whilst I get at least basics done.

Hazelthecat · 30/07/2022 20:16

Toddlers can play with toys and eat food and make you laugh with a funny dance but they can also run off when you try and put a nappy on, climb bookcases and cover themselves and the carpet with sudocreme if you turn your back for 20 seconds. I don't think babies or toddlers are easy, they both are nice to cuddle. You get 30 hours free childcare a week if you're working when they're 3 years old which felt like a big win. Big bonus of babies for me is you can put them in the buggy and go for a walk and maybe have a cup of coffee when they nap. Before you know it this time will be a long distant memory and you'll be mistily telling your baby how they used to be a little baby and now they are so big and going to big school. The early years can be so hard though, I think it's the sleep deprivation that can make it unbearable. They do gradually get better at sleeping and then you feel more human and everything feels that bit more manageable.

AliceW89 · 30/07/2022 20:17

I think this so depends on the child. DS was a much more difficult newborn/baby than average…who then transformed into a far easier toddler than average. Needless to say I much prefer 2.5 year olds to newborns! If it had been the other way round and he had been a sleepy, content, none-colicky newborn and a tantruming terror of a toddler, I’m sure my opinion would be completely different!

Smartiepants79 · 30/07/2022 20:18

Newborn.
At least with my toddlers they did sleep well. It made everything better!!

SalviaOfficinalis · 30/07/2022 20:18

My DS is 15 months and I’m enjoying it so much more than newborn stage.
I found the first months pretty relentless and thankless - you dedicate 24hrs a day to this tiny baby and they just scream at you and doesn’t really care who holds them (that’s what mine did anyway).

At least toddlers have a little personality and sense of humour and run up and give you a cuddle (In between being a little tyrant).

ShirleyPhallus · 30/07/2022 20:18

Oh I totally disagree with most of the comments here! Toddler stage is SO much fun, she has a lovely little personality, is fun, funny, has proper conversations and actually isn’t any of the toddler troubles I’d heard about

ladygindiva · 30/07/2022 20:19

For me newborns are faaaar worse. I've had 3 DC, one was an easy newborn, the other 2 weren't ( reflux, colic, twins, no sleep etc) but they were all lovely toddlers who slept all night even if they could get a bit arsey during the day at times. There's no comparison for me.

Lostmyway86 · 30/07/2022 20:21

I have two toddlers right now and despite feeling frazzled every day, I would toddlers 100% over newborns any day. They are so wild that they sleep 12 hours a night. Bliss! I know no matter how shitty my day might be, I'll have my evening and can sleep at night. To me, nothing was harder than the nights. DD2 was the textbook dream baby and I'd still take her as a toddler even though she slapped me round the face today. Toddlers can also be really funny and sweet and interesting. Arseholes most of the time, but there's lovely moments! And they can generally eat normal food, weetabix, sandwiches, pasta. Watch TV to give you a break and just generally seem more human! When I hold a newborn now, and people say are you broody, I couldn't feel less broody! Newborns are hard-core in my.opinion, hang in there x

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