What's harder? Newborn or toddler?

[MyNameIsMarya]

Just wondering. The last 3 months were hellish.
Baby constantly screamed (colicky) and isn't sleeping well at night yet.
No smiles until just recently. Just constant madness.
But I hear some people say toddlers are even worse.....
And then again some say toddlers are easier.
What do you think?

Post edited by MNHQ

It doesn't just depend on the child but on you and your personality too.

I adore newborns and don't find them boring at all but

Oh and I should say I had both ways round. DD1 difficult baby, easy toddler. DD2 easy baby, difficult toddler. But I still find toddler easier all day long!

Ffs! ... I find toddlers quite annoying. What other people find funny and adorable, I really really don't. 😄

Definitely depends on the child.
My eldest was the hardest newborn and a pretty tame toddler. By toddlerhood she slept well, ate well, was pretty timid and happy to chill out and never caused havoc or had any epic meltdowns. Potty trained easily and very quickly became genuinely good company.
Youngest is the dream newborn so who knows what he will do for toddlerhood!

Toddlers are physically exhausting but absolutely joyous. Mine is 21 months and I find myself ready to collapse in a dark room by the time he goes to bed at 8 (currently pregnant so worse), but he's absolutely wonderful, so loving, so smart, so fun.

Newborn; the sleep deprivation is definitely worse than anything my toddler has ever done as a toddler (she's 20 months now)!

I really like the toddler stage, it turns out. Yes, you get the occasional tantrum, and the nappies get worse, but you also get to see them develop so much. And once they start talking and can communicate a bit, that makes a huge difference.

Mind you, I'm about to find out what it's like to combine both stages and have lack of sleep on top of toddler tantrums... wish me luck! Looking forward to seeing what DD is like as a big sister though.

Totally depends on the child.

First I had a screaming baby with severe reflux - cried all day but was an angelic and obedient toddler who slept 7-7 every night.

Then I had a super happy, chilled easy baby who turned into tornado toddler who had to do everything his way.

I found the newborn stage very, very, very difficult and exhausting / overwhelming but the toddler stage a genuine breeze, a joy and a dream come true. As you can see some posters clearly feel the exact opposite though so it depends on the child / circumstances!

The toddler stage broke me.
18months between my dc and essentially having a 1year old and a 2.5year old active toddling little people was just so overwhelming.
I preferred the newborn stage for both my dc and preferred being a Mum to a newborn+toddler than two toddlers.

I have had very very difficult babies and so I find the toddler stage easier.

Also - newborns you can whack a boob out and they sleep. Toddlers don't do that.

They both have their own challenges!

We had a colicky newborn too. But he's 2 now and he does not stop. He's constant and the tantrums over the most ridiculous things are a joke!

Buttttt, he's bloody hilarious and gives the best cuddles (on his terms) and he's just chatty and cute

Hmm tricky question!! Newborns that don’t sleep I would say are the worst, sleep deprivation is brutal, despite lovely baby cuddles you’re not getting a lot back for the pain! Toddlers are harder work to look after, but as others have said you do get more out of them usually and can experience more with them.

You can't compare them.
They both have their good and bad points. I prefer the toddler stage. It's much more fun, but I have a good sleeper and a good communicator and that's invaluable.

From a dad's perspective I found the newborn stage much harder as it was such a shock to the system (I'd been to the NCTs and read the books but it didnt do much!) - the lack of sleep, the feeling of not knowing what I was doing/fear of damaging/injuring him was pretty hard to deal with. While the toddler phase gas its challenges I feel like the increased confidence just makes everything a bit easier to handle. But DS sleeps well and has never really been one for tantrums - if he was bawling Sainsbury's down every time he saw the ice lollies I'd probably think differently

When I had my newborn DTs I was exhausted and desperate to get out of the tiny baby stage. Couldn’t wait for them to be toddlers. Once they turned 2, they were utterly feral little beasts who drove me completely mad and I looked back wistfully at how bloody easy it was when they were babies, didn’t talk back and stayed where I’d left them.

My favourite bit of tiny children was about 4 months to around just under 2. They were utterly delightful. Complete shit show before 4 months and after 2, now a hell of a lot better now they’re 4!

I think anyone who has had a colicky baby, crying for hours a day for weeks on end, is far more robust by the time the toddler years come around.

Yeah, toddlers can be actual mini dictators. It is really tiring. I frequently have ‘I do not negotiate with terrorists, I do not negotiate with terrorists’ playing through my mind on a loop.

Lol. Not my experience AT ALL if only it had been that easy

Yeah mine as newborn would feed, nap 1 min, scream, feed, scream, nap 1 min, scream, feed… on repeat for about 8 months.

Agree with this. When you’ve lived through a colicky newborn that spent ever single evening screaming themselves purple…a toddler tantruming over a cupcake or a nappy change is absolutely easy. Kinda cute even 😂

The newborn phase was a million times harder. Toddlers are fun!

I honestly think if you have newborn who cries most of the time too due to reflux. Every phase thereafter will seem so much easier. It's not necessarily easier than what others are experiencing and finding tough, it's just that you've had such an ordeal that you have a different base line for how bad it can be.

Yes exactly.

One very unhappy reflux newborn is now a dream toddler.

One angel baby has hit terrible twos with a thump!

Totally depends on the child in my opinion.

Personally I found newborn OK when he was the only one. It is a very special time. I found 18 months -4ish pretty exhausting and relentless, and mostly, STICKY, but I had two close together. I loved tiny babies because all I needed was boobs. Weaning, potty training, mobile toddlers, danger etc all much harder work! But every stage has its joys and its drawbacks. Even the teenagers, who will cause way more worry than they ever did as little people, are great company and worth all the heartache they can cause.