What's harder? Newborn or toddler?

[MyNameIsMarya]

Just wondering. The last 3 months were hellish.
Baby constantly screamed (colicky) and isn't sleeping well at night yet.
No smiles until just recently. Just constant madness.
But I hear some people say toddlers are even worse.....
And then again some say toddlers are easier.
What do you think?

Post edited by MNHQ

Everyone else’s children are annoying full stop, it doesn’t matter the age! Personally I find 7-11ish the most annoying when they’re not cute anymore and lack awareness of older children so are generally loud

DS1 hated being a baby. He screamed or fed. Slept aprox 6 hours in every 24. It was hell on earth.
He was much better as a toddler. I could get 4 straight hours sleep most nights.
My favourite was preschool age tho.
That said, he got complimented in the supermarket today, as a teen. So maybe he has all the stages mixed up!

100% toddlers are harder work! I had two amazing newborns who just slept, ate and pooped but absolute feral toddlers 😳 DS1 wasn't that bad but DS2 is hard work (they're now 5 and 2) I can take my 5 year old anywhere, he's a delight but my two year old is a runner and a climber (I adore him though!) but honestly if I could fast forward the clock two years so absolutely would! I keep saying when they're 4 and 8 it'll be fine, no more nappies, prams or nap times 🙌🏻 toddlers are so fiercely independent but have absolutely no safety awareness. I'm counting down the days until he gets more awareness 🤞🏻 I might get my life back 😬

This a million times over. 90% of the time the hardest part of parenting a toddler is trying not to laugh when you shouldn't. Give me tiddlers any day! (Currently pregnant with number 2 and praying I get the easy second baby a lot have mentioned!)

Newborn, toddlers sleep more x

Newborn stage was hell on earth. Pregnant with number 2 and genuinely scared.

Toddler is amazing! Love it! It's hard work, but soooo much easier to manage IMO!

I think there is more variation with newborns. Neither of mine slept well at night but both were very content in a sling during the day. One of my NCT friends had a newborn who literally cried all day which was horrific.

Toddlers are funny and adorable and more rewarding but utterly exhausting and you don't get a moment to be in your own head. As an introvert, I really struggle with that.

Depends on the child.

Eldest: horrific newborn, much better toddler period.
Younger one: Lovely chilled newborn, absolutely chaotic toddler who drives me half crazy most days.

I found toddlers far harder, and that was even my much more high needs colicky, bottle refusing second child.

Both actually slept far worse as toddlers than as newborns. So as well as being run tagged during the day, I was lucky with my second to get more than 2 hours consecutive sleep a night, and was often being up 10+ times a night.

Newborn time was bliss in comparison. I absolutely adore it. I love the sillyness of toddlers, and their personalities, but so so much harder.

When I had my first, I put on make up every day when she was a newborn, straightened my hair even, as I had time to do it. The same me with a toddler has my hair scraped bank and hoping that I remembered to brush my teeth. 😂

@Aconitum Cheek and attitude 🤣 that’s what you get back 🤣🤣

@MyNameIsMarya Sorry you’ve been having such a rough time. My DS was the exact same. He’s now 20 months and still not sleeping great but he’s not really a crier so something has changed 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️ From my experience so far, every stage has its challenges. At least now when he’s upset he can tell me what’s wrong. He’s learning new things everyday and is an absolute joy to be around 99% of the time.
BUT...he climbs everything in sight, I can’t turn my back for a second and he’s about to bankrupt me with the amount he eats 🤣🤣

Not all do...

Mine didn't, and I know I'm not alone in having toddlers that slept worse than when they were newborn.I don't think it's THAT common, but it's not rare either.

I have now 3 year old twins, it used to drive me mad when fellow twin mums said it doesn’t get easier just different, but it’s so so true.

twin newborns were an absolute breeze compared to twin threenagers. Yes I was exhausted in the early days but I was also able to watch box sets back to back as it wa just a constant rotation of feeding/changing.

3 year olds are also a lot of fun though, they say the best things and give fabulous cuddles. The meltdowns are also spectacularly awful.

Newborn. The sleep deprivation, the constant feeding and not wanting to be put down, the colic. It's like torture. Toddler can be challenging but they usually sleep a lot longer get than 3 hrs at night so you get evenings back and some sanity. They are fun and interactive and constantly doing new things.

Neither, teenager is the hardest by far lol. Baby and toddler is a breeze in comparison

It really depends. My dream baby was a terror of a toddler. The difficult baby turned into a delightful toddler.

My teenagers are a piece of cake.

Newborn stage was harder by far for me! Toddlerhood has its challenges but you get so much back and their little personalities are the best. My toddler makes me laugh constantly and although there's tantrums and tears I am absolutely loving this stage

Depends on the baby and the toddler.
Collicky DD was much easier as a toddler (and was a super cute and biddable toddler)
DS was an easy chilled out baby and an exhausting but fun toddler.

I had 2 very easy babies. Def my favourite time, I also never felt I had to things or keep busy. So had very chilled maternities.

1 very easy toddler and one devil toddler.

Toddler 2 takes the award for anything going. It is not a time I ever want to repeat. Any possible thoughts of a 3rd is long gone.

Depends on the child, but also on you and what you find hardest.

For me, sleep deprivation kills me. I'm on mat leave with my second and both times the lack of sleep has broken me. So personally, nothing is harder than a newborn. Plus they're boring.
I have a 3 year age gap, and before DD2 was born, I could cope with anything DD1 threw at me, because I was sleeping at night.

Newborn. I get cold sweats when I hear a newborn crying. DD was a horrifically difficult newborn, following a very stressful birth and time in NICU.

She wasn’t an easy toddler, and still didn’t sleep well but my god it was soooo much better than newborn!

I can imagine however that if you had one of those textbook babies who wakes up for feeds twice a night and takes long naps in the day, toddler might seem a challenge. Probably the only upside of a horrific newborn stage is that everything else is an improvement!

My dd was a nightmare baby (silent reflux and milk allergy so she spent most of her life screaming and rarely sleeping). I don't know how we coped, and survived our marriage. She was an awesome toddler. She's 6 now and still pretty 'easy'. It really does depend on the child.

Newborn stage was much much harder for me.

My toddlers did not sleep. It wasn’t worse than they slept as newborns exactly, but far louder and more complex to deal with.

I also found that people expected less of me - eg when working with a 3 month old, there was more understanding if I said the 3 month old cried from 1-5am last night. I got tea and sympathy. When I was saying the same thing about a 3 year old those are replaced by raised eyebrows and vague insinuations that you are a bad parent.

I’d take a toddler over a newborn any day. Obviously newborns are not mobile which is something you don’t appreciate until they start crawling/walking, but my DS is 2 and I could squeeze him all day long. He’s very hard work but at least he loves his nap and sleeps all night. Everything they do amazes you. DD is 5 soon and has her own challenges but she’s like a proper mini human and it’s a breeze looking after her alone. I do not get broody ever.