Separating from husband

[Dusty10]

I have been married for almost 12 years now, we have 2 children under 5. We rent a house together, but we are like two strangers living together. We rarely have sex, we rarely do anything together or with the kids, we sleep in separate rooms.
I do EVERYTHING, cooking, cleaning, school drop offs, shopping. It’s honestly like having a 3rd child sometimes.
I don’t think there’s anyone else involved his side, but I know he watches a lot of porn and goes on adult cam sites. This used to bother me but not so
much now.

Im not sure how to approach the subject of a trial separation. And who would move out? He has family locally where as I don’t.

Hi Dusty,

I'm sorry to hear you are having problems. I think as your husband is the one on adult sites, he should be the one to leave the home, also if you are the kids primary care giver, you should stay in the home to prevent disrupting their lives as much as possible.

Conversations like this are never easy to have, but i would do the following, order the kids a takeaway or get them some treat foods like pizzas etc and pick them a movie, tell them that you and dad are going over important house things and that they can come down once the movie has finished.

Tell your partner a set time and what the conversation entails, and then discuss at a time where you have no distractions.
He may tell you that he will start to do more but this is a diversion. Give him a date to move out by and explain that you will help him to find a place and lay out times of when he can have the kids if it works for him too.

Good luck OP x

I'd say that if you want the relationship to be over, the onus is on you to leave.