What age do children leave you alone

[homarr]

I am home with my 2&5 year old children.

They have spent the entire day saying "mum, mum, mum, mum", "can you get me a drink? can you get me some food? Can you help me put my clothes on? Can you change the channel? Can we go out yet? Will you play a game? Can we have a bath?"

Endless tasks that they make me do. I have literally ran around like a blue arsed fly all weekend.

If I leave the house with them it's great & we have a nice time but as soon as we come back it's "What are we doing next? Are we going back out?".

I just want to be left alone for 10 minutes.

What age does this stop??

They never leave you alone I have a 16 and 5 year old and they still constantly want me

As a teacher it's quite a regular occurrence to have 'muuuuum' in the classroom too 🤣

My 13 year old is still quite like this im Going to file a harassment case against her soon!
but honestly they get better as they get older and can do more for their self. I often park myself in the back garden with a book and when they come up to me before they even start I say mummy’s not available. They giggle and go off and play for a bit. Gives me 10mins Peace

How does she make you do it?
Don't give in to the things she can safely do herself. She needs to have an internal picture of herself as a competent, independent person, not as a princess with a slave in attendance.
I'm a bit mean, but when my kids moaned about boredom I'd give them chores. I can't say it made them tidier, they are all still quite messy, but they don't moan about having nothing to do!
Wanting company is a different thing. Again, having her help with chores works, she can clean with a cloth while you do something else in the same room.
I think you have to spell it out - Mum needs some quiet time now, what do you want to do? Get her games that she can play alone, like Solitaire, ( would need to be out of reach of the little one.) Get her playing a puzzle with the little one.
Also, I found an early tea, bath and bed for both quite early helped keep me sane!
If you know you will have free time after 730/8 that helps you get through.
Not going to lie though, it is relentless!

Anyone remember the Kevin the Teenager sketches from many years ago? I've caught myself quoting it many times since my 3.5y old became more verbal. "I am not your slave!"

This is why we should live in communes. Like our ancestors did and how we are biologically wired.
What a hell we have created with nuclear families. Not good for kids, and certainly not optimal for parents, especially mother's.

Unfortunately it gets worse as they are older teens are quite demanding emotionally lol!

@justanothermanicmonday21 I've heard that a lot. Mine still little. In what way are teens more emotionally demanding?

Around the age of 9 or when they get their own phone, whichever is first!

Give them a job to do or say it's nearly bedtime. Soon stop bugging you then 😅

My 17 year old has rung me from home stood in the kitchen so ask if we have bread
I'm at work
The bread is where it always is at home in the kitchen

@Hdj2047da I would say being there emotionally to support growing independence, my son has just finished year 7, it took home a good few months to fully settle in and make solid friendships etc (and he knew a lot of people and is very sociable), it's a big adjustment. He needed support with organising himself and time and homework to get a good routine, emotional support as he was quite anxious in school, first big residential trip etc. also the navigating of him going out alone, boundaries, hormones all over the place, trying to give freedom while encouraging him to make good choices and be a decent human being!!

Don't get me wrong I am fully enjoying mine being a nearly teen (he's 12 - 13 in a couple of months) as I'm finding him much more fun, we have a bit of banter, there's a good mutual understanding and enjoy doing things with him, just the navigating rules etc is alot more difficult and he still is constantly asking me for stuff - usually for money rather than for a drink though! Haha!

My teenagers generally wait until I'm about to get into bed to decide they need to have deep and meaningful conversations with me.
At least 5 and 2 year olds go to bed before you do! (I hope for your sake)

It never ends. parent of grown up children

My 9 year old has started telling me to leave her alone in her bedroom. I cheerfully fuck off downstairs.

I feel slightly better reading this thread as I have a 7yo dd who’s an only child and I put much of the needy mum stuff down to this but clearly it still happens even with siblings to play with. I tear my hair out with it most days. I am in constant mum guilt as I can’t do the ‘play’ stuff which is all she ever wants to do but I do make a big effort with regular activities, craft and trips out. Whatever though, it’s never enough. I do put my foot down on making her get her own snacks etc but it’s still a daily, sometimes hourly, whine and grumble. It is exhausting and the holidays have only just begun.

Let them be bored.

suggest the 5 year old shares a book with the 2 year old.

ask them to work out what to do (without making too much mess).

give them times they can make the mess! …. Sheet forts, painting or drawing etc. but also get them involved in clearing up.

yes it all takes MUCH MUCH longer - but at least it’s activity together rather than you doing everything.

m children need to learn to think of things for themselves. Boredom gives them time to do that. It doesn’t hurt !!

15 yr old dd, who is very capable and independent generally is still extremely demanding of my attention . From the intricacies of friend drama at school, to ‘hilarious’ tiktoks (that I never understand), to ‘can I read you my biology essay?’, to ‘what’s for supper?’……….if less than 100% attention is given when asked for, she adopts a slightly hurt look and wanders off. Then I feel bad 🤣🤣

12 and 14 year old leave me alone for periods of time but they do still want me to help them all the flipping time. "I want to make pancakes but I need you to show me how". I'm just hoping we are getting all these "can you show me how" out of the way and by the time the 8 year old is their age he will be able to do it all!

8 and 6 and still no let up.

My 8yr old would be quite happy left alone with his Switch or Chromebook all day! However, he doesn't recognize hunger very well and would just end up having a tantrum! From when he first had a tablet about I've been able to get a bit of quiet time when needed! When he was little it was only about 30mins on CBeebies games, now he plays Minecraft, Roblox, Minecraft videos on YouTube etc for several hours! I just need to ration it a bit and enforce breaks for snacks etc. I'm very lucky in some ways he doesn't nag for food or snacks constantly!

I tend to plan activities for the holidays so we get out for a while each day, including something active. Sometimes a 'day out' or long playdate, other times a couple of smaller things. Today it was library this morning for about an hour and park for about 45mins late this afternoon. We both go a bit crazy and cabin fever if indoors and not occupied for too long! He's been on devices and I've got housework done the rest of the day.

Demands change rather than disappear, but I'm finding it get easier as he gets older! I've not got pre-teen grumpy yet through!!!

Ds and dil live upstairs in their flat. I live downstairs in granny flat. I often have to tell them to bugger off back to their own flat. They are in their 40s. Then the 4 cats and the dog decide they all want to sleep on me. It never ends. I go to work to escape.

When it does I'll let you know.😅

Mine are DS25,DS23,DS20,DD19,DD14.

My 2 oldest both have they're own homes now but we still see them and talk all the time and just like when they were younger they're still tell me lots about what's going on with them and ask for my advice.

DS20 is still at home and he has a busy life but he still likes to spend time with me every day.

DD19 has her own home but we see her at least about 4 time's a week and we talk every day.

DD14 is obviously still at home and she likes to be near me or with me about 70% of the day.

DS20 and DD14 are both autistic, I still have lots of time with all of my DC but it does change as they all get older.

I think we've been very lucky in that they're all still so close and that because they're close they all like to spend time together , nowadays spending time with all of them together is really relaxed and happy.

But there are times where we miss them being little.

On Monday my 3 year old started following me around the house saying ‘I don’t know what to do’…completely new sentence, completely new behaviour 🤪 I suggest something…5 mins later he’s back ‘I don’t know what to do now…’