What age do children leave you alone

[homarr]

I am home with my 2&5 year old children.

They have spent the entire day saying "mum, mum, mum, mum", "can you get me a drink? can you get me some food? Can you help me put my clothes on? Can you change the channel? Can we go out yet? Will you play a game? Can we have a bath?"

Endless tasks that they make me do. I have literally ran around like a blue arsed fly all weekend.

If I leave the house with them it's great & we have a nice time but as soon as we come back it's "What are we doing next? Are we going back out?".

I just want to be left alone for 10 minutes.

What age does this stop??

The 5 year old should be able to get a drink and snack and get themselves dressed. If you just don’t do it surely they will do it themselves? Leave a glass out for them, leave a bowl of healthy snacks somewhere accessible. Job done.

My eldest is 30 and still like this

I'll let you know, my eldest is 16 😆

About 20. If they move out of home earlier it's sooner.

When they start secondary school and then you never see them apart from at feeding time

I now offer to find whatever item has gone missing, however I charge a finder's fee if found within 30 seconds/a minute (time depends on item and how far away from the room with said 'lost' item I am). The finder's fee is often equivalent to a day's pocket money. It's amazing how keen they are to have just one more look, and how often it is then found fairly quickly...

My 9 year old sorts his own breakfast, drinks etc and will do lunch but he comes to ask permission and will let me do it unless I say make it yourself today. He happily spends hours in his room reading, colouring or watching kidstube. I actually miss his company. My 6 year old can do that stuff but wants me around more. He is more "mummy watch" etc. I think the spells when they entertain themselves gets longer when they go to school. Saying that they have a sort of end of school term regression where they need me more, get grumpier, have tantrums more and constantly bicker.

*12 years

🤣

But why would they do anything/entertain themselves when they have room service and a full time entertainer? You will quickly burn yourself out at that rate!
We generally do 1 parent-led activity a day in the hols (today was making pizzas from scratch), although I'll facilitate others eg the park, as this involves me driving/walking them there (depending on which park) and then sitting on a bench and chatting to a friend whilst they play, occasionally supplying a drink. I'm happy to set up activities for them at home too when they request them (they must help set up and pack away though). The rest of the time they are free to play indoors or in the garden, read etc. Learning to self-occupy is really beneficial to them, but they only learn it through boredom.

Definitely worth putting some time into training them to be more independent. It will pay off. Mine are 9 and 5 and we get long periods where they will entertain themselves and both able to do the TV themselves in the morning etc.

My eldest would quite often take himself off to my bedroom to watch TV on his own after school at about age 7. He's like me and likes space and to be alone sometimes. My youngest is 6 and is still quite clingy but I'm hoping that when they have their own room soon they might become a bit more independent and spent more time in their rooms.

The truth is that it never does stop, even as Adults they still like to be Mothered whenever they have a problem, need help with their own children, or have run out of cash after spending their own unwisely. Sometimes l feel that we live too close by, and a few more miles between us would give us a bit more peace to have a chance to enjoy our later years, and not have to do regular school runs, sort out squabbles over teatime, and look after them when they get sent home poorly, only to catch the same bug ourselves a few days later!

I don’t respond to be called over / wailed at…

My fav phrase is “walk and talk to me - no calling shouting” -mostly they work out that it’s more distance / effort to walk to me so they just do it themselves.

This is what I what I was going to say.

And when they go you miss them!

Well at age 13 DD still thinks I need to hear every thought that pops into her head so peace is a long way off

Huge improvement when the youngest is three or thereabouts. If you can find games they can play together, it will help.

Mine are 6 and 9 and will leave me along for reasonably long periods to play / watch tv / go on trampoline etc - they know to get milk / water cordial for themselves and fruit between meals

Mine dropped me for football around his 8th birthday.

I don't know how or why you all put up with this. Would drive me nutty.

My mom did absolutely everything for me too.
i am 19 going on 20 and the only reason I figured out how to operate and clean a washing machine (literally 2 months ago) was due to my nesting instincts when pregnant, I thought how sad it would be for my daughter to have a mother who didn’t know how to use the washer or oven lol
There’s still so many things I need to improve on, and as parents we need to make sure our kids are more independent because it’s miserable being an adult and not knowing the basics.

i remember being 11 years old and still pestering my mom about what we were going to be doing next - I wanted constant entertainment. I don’t think it ever ends to be honest! I still get my dad to cook my food when I’m at my wits end

My son at uni still messages me all day.
‘MUM MUM <insert ridiculous questions here>

I used to be like that with my mum at 13.
Plus, if I watched a film I would do a Wikipedia style synopsis, often going off on a tangent about that characters, as I followed her around the house as she did her laundry, cleaning etc.

Mine are 7 and 9. If I literally sit there doing nothing and waiting for their next command, they will happily entertain themselves forever. The second I do something remotely entertaining for myself or sit down with a cuppa, they will realise that I am not doing my motherly duties and find me some more to keep me busy!

My adult daughter was talking to me through the closed toilet door earlier this evening. So I'm guessing the answer to your thread title is 'never'!

Hahaha I’ve been known to tiptoe around past the room they are playing in so they don’t hear me.

I crept downstairs this morning to grab a coffee while they play in their room. If they heard me in the kitchen they’d surely ask me to make them something too.