Which of these things would you let an almost ten year old do?

[ladyinwaiting99]

Hi! So I'm on holiday with my ds who is 9 and turns 10 in early September.
I'm finding it an interesting age in terms of independence so can you help me gauge if I'm over protective or not please?

On a small, laid-back site with a sensible child about to turn ten would you let them:

Walk to and from the caravan alone (five minutes walk)

Play somewhere whilst you went for a short walk alone.

Go to the bar to buy soft drinks.

Have money and play on an amusement arcade whilst you are in the bar next door.

Go separate ways and meet you at an agreed point in 10 minutes time.

Stay in the caravan alone whilst you went out for 20-30 minutes.

Go swimming on their own.

Any help much appreciated, thanks!

Home country or abroad? I've is there a potential language issue?

Also - would you allow any of those at home? What level of responsibility is he used to?

I would allow all of them

Not swimming.
yes to the buying drinks.

Everything else it depends on the site, the lay out and feel of it.

arcade if I could see them, yes.

Definitely not the swimming one.

Probably not the go separate ways and meet in 10 mins either (as sense of time in 10 yo may not be that reliable).

As for the others, it depends on uk or abroad (language barriers). Probably most i would allow, but would start with one option and see how we both felt about it before saying yes to the others!

Home country so no language barrier, sorry should have said.

I’d say no to all of them. But then I’m very over protective.

I started to let dd now aged 19 walk to and from school (10 mins walk) from age 11/12 and then gradually increased from that. She’s a well adjusted, very sensible and sociable uni student so I don’t think I’ve done her any harm!

All of them.

No to swimming or being left alone.
Yes to the others.

Yes to all if swimming is inside. Wouldn't allow outdoor swimming in sea unsupervised at that age.

All of them except the swimming and have done since much younger!

Please don't let your child go swimming alone.

I would say no to all of them unaccompanied is unaccompanied and they are only children once.
I thought the thread was about making a hot drink which I would have said 'yes' to.

All but swimming

The 10 mins time thing, only if the child hag an alarm to tell them when to leave.

All of them plus swimming if it's in a pool rather than sea or river.

I'd say all of them apart from swimming. My nearly 9yo and 10yo are allowed to do these things in hotel complexes abroad. My 10yo in particular is very mature for her age and I trust her to go to the shop alone, and leave both home if I pop out for 10-20 minutes.

Probably not the swimming, but would he even want to swim alone?

Yes to the rest, I think.

No to all

I certainly wouldn't allow swimming. My ds was similar age when although we were all sitting round the pool, he managed to slip on wet tiles and bash his head without us seeing. Was brought back to us by an observant lifeguard. Luckily he wasn't in the water.

If he isn't used to going places on his own at home, I don't think now is the best time in an unfamiliar environment, unless you can actually see him.

If he is used to being left alone at home, I might consider the caravan with strict rules eg no cooking, must stay in the caravan, don't have the door open etc.

I would say no to all also.

All of them ( maybe not swimming as it's a bit miserable going swimming on your own, and he's lost some confidence with swimming during covid ). If he was with his older sister and the pool had a life guard then yes ).
I'm surprised people are saying no to the others to be honest.

I have 2 older and a 10 yr old. I think a lot depends on the child, at 10 some are far more responsible than others and others can be far more impulsive and risk takers.

I'd say no to the swimming.

Possibly no to the staying and playing while you went for a walk. If they had a phone, a friend, or a way of contacting you, then probably yes, if none of those things, then probably no. What is they fell and were badly cut/grazed/broke an arm/stung by a wasp? If no one knew where you were or couldn't contact you, you'd be leaving your child to be cared for by a random stranger, assuming their was a random stranger in the vicinity who would help your DC.

Everything else, fine, you're nearby, contactable and DC knows where you are and how to find you. It's a good age to start exploring independence.

I'm a no to most of those.
Yes to arcade and yes to bar if I'm close by. I would also let them be in the caravan for 20 mins.
All the wandering around ones are a no.

Wow. Some incredibly over protective types on here. I would say yes to all bar swimming. If they were confident swimmer I’d let them go in alone but within eyeline of adult at the side.

I’m on holiday with my 8.5 year old currently and she’s be allowed to do all of those except swimming.

Yes to all except the swimming, and being left alone would depend on circumstances. My son is same age and has been doing all these things and more for a while, when we are in situations I feel comfortable with.