Which of these things would you let an almost ten year old do?

[ladyinwaiting99]

Hi! So I'm on holiday with my ds who is 9 and turns 10 in early September.
I'm finding it an interesting age in terms of independence so can you help me gauge if I'm over protective or not please?

On a small, laid-back site with a sensible child about to turn ten would you let them:

Walk to and from the caravan alone (five minutes walk)

Play somewhere whilst you went for a short walk alone.

Go to the bar to buy soft drinks.

Have money and play on an amusement arcade whilst you are in the bar next door.

Go separate ways and meet you at an agreed point in 10 minutes time.

Stay in the caravan alone whilst you went out for 20-30 minutes.

Go swimming on their own.

Any help much appreciated, thanks!

Not the last two I don't think. Everything else probably but would depend on the site.

Walk to and from the caravan alone (five minutes walk)

Go to the bar to buy soft drinks.

Have money and play on an amusement arcade whilst you are in the bar next door.

Go separate ways and meet you at an agreed point in 10 minutes time.

All the above. Probably staying in the caravan if it wasn't crazy hot. My concern is more around whether child can foresee risks in an unfamiliar environment (gets too hot so has a drink / goes into shady spot rather than ignoring) rather than if they're going to get kidnapped.

@Chasingclouds100 No, it’s not the job of parents to be blanket, highly protective of all children regardless of age and capability. It’s our job to gradually, and appropriately, build their independence and confidence in preparation for adulthood. Helicopter parents can be incredibly damaging, teaching their kids that the world is more risk-filed than it really is and undermining their confidence and self -belief. Loosening the apron strings should be a gradual process based on risk assessment not on parental anxiety.

I would say yes to all apart from swimming.

I think bring over protective of children does them more harm than good, ime these are generally the ones that do t end up being great life- copers! Appropriate freedom does them good imo!

Everything except swimming

All except swimming.
I'd allow a teenager to swim alone (at a pool with a lifeguard of some kind) but not before. "Wild" swimming in a lake or river is something that even adults should do in groups, IMO. Swimming makes me nervous.

The rest are all fine, unless there is a backstory about special needs or a "dodgy" environment.

“Wild" swimming in a lake or river is something that even adults should do in groups, IMO. Swimming makes me nervous.

Absolutely. The number of drownings went up during the heatwave we just had. Including adults and good swimmers. This always happens. Sadly it is unavoidable that sometimes people will get into difficulty in open water. We live near the beach and my kids like to go in the sea but always with others. They know they must never go on their own.

My kids are teens and both good swimmers.

No to the swimming
On a campsite (Holland) my 20 year old DD made friends with 2 other girls - before they had mobiles - and one of them had a Walkie talkie !

@MumofSpud We used to give our kids walkie-talkies on campsites when they were younger!

On a small, laid-back site with a sensible child about to turn ten would you let them:

Walk to and from the caravan alone (five minutes walk) yes

Play somewhere whilst you went for a short walk alone.* No*

Go to the bar to buy soft drinks.* Yes*

Have money and play on an amusement arcade whilst you are in the bar next door. For a short while - but I wouldn't be drinking alcohol.

Go separate ways and meet you at an agreed point in 10 minutes time.* I'd start with 5 mins and build up.*

Stay in the caravan alone whilst you went out for 20-30 minutes.* No*

Go swimming on their own.* Absolutely not.*

Yes to all, apart from swimming. I was allowed to do most of these at that age on caravan holidays. Make sure they remember the pitch number in case they get lost.

Well I would rather keep an extra eye out for my children than risk them coming to harm. Your words are hysterical - ‘helicopter parenting’ can be incredibly damaging, teaching kids that the world is more risk filled than it really is and undermining their confidence and self belief???! Nope it is not ‘helicopter parenting’ that is incredibly damaging - I live on the outskirts of a big city where stabbing is rife amongst teen - many incidents with weapons at my DS school, very busy main roads where we live, drugs you name it - this unfortunately is real life at the moment in our world so I don’t think being overprotective is damaging to our kids - quite the opposite!! Parental anxiety?? er nope just being a good parent thank you!

Walk to and from the caravan alone (five minutes walk) No, I wouldn't know if they had arrived safely until I returned or went to join them.

Play somewhere whilst you went for a short walk alone. No

Go to the bar to buy soft drinks. Yes

Have money and play on an amusement arcade whilst you are in the bar next door. with regular checking

Go separate ways and meet you at an agreed point in 10 minutes time.* No*

Stay in the caravan alone whilst you went out for 20-30 minutes.* Yes*

Go swimming on their own. Absolutely not.

No to all but my 10 year old is a bit daft. I would if he was with his more sensible 12 year old sibling - all but the swimming

@Chasingclouds100 Im sorry that you live somewhere dangerous but the OP is about a holiday campsite. Knife crime is vanishingly unlikely. It’s about risk assessing the situation in front you.

Presumably he was (temporarily?) alone in the pool? Lifeguards can't watch every move of every swimmer, it's ridiculous to even imagine that could be a possibility.

Well I was just trying to defend myself when I was called ‘over protective’ and that I am damaging my children by being a ‘helicopter parent’! Knife crime may be ‘vanishingly unlikely’ on a campsite but going swimming alone and going for walks on there own I think poses a danger. I have also witnessed gas explosions from gas canisters and a child abduction from a caravan whilst holidaying on campsites - in my opinion 9 is far too young for a child to be without an adult

A campsite with knife crime, exploding gas canisters and child abductions - did you not consult Trip Advisor before booking?

Yes to all of them.

When I was 10 we were allowed to run wild around the campsite and it gave me so much confidence and independence. The only thing I would say no to is the swimming because even the best swimmer can get into trouble.

I'd do all except swimming. My son has as 9 in Feb and he started walking home from school by himself then. I've left him alone for about 30 minutes a couple of times and would trust him for longer. It depends on the child but it think what you've said sounds fine.

I'd allow all of them as long as child is generally sensible. I'm surprised so many say a no for swimming, most places allow it from age 8 and by that age my kids were very competent swimmers. That is assuming there is lifeguards. We've been to a couple of places with a small pool and no lifeguards so in that situation I would accompany them

Same! Mine was having the run of water parks with his friends and cousins from age 8ish. I wasn't following them around and I had younger ones to look after anyway.