Are we really supposed to “enjoy” this?

[Newmummy2225]

My DD is nearly 6 months old and I just don’t think being a mummy to a baby is my bag!

I don’t enjoy stressing about naps, I don’t enjoy being spit up on all the damn time, I don’t enjoy it when she is grumpy and whining, I don’t enjoy having to plan my whole day around feeds and naps, I don’t enjoy not being able to go anywhere in the evening cos she’s a tired grumpy mess by then and it’s just not worth it!

Having said all of the above, there are lovely moments every day; the way she smiles at me / her giggles absolutely melt my heart and watching her learn/develop is pretty amazing, but I honestly can’t wait for her to be older and able to communicate etc. I look at families out and about having a lovely time with their older kids and feel insane jealousy.

Am i a bad mummy for feeling this way? I know everyone says the baby stage is short, but oooof some days are long.

I don’t miss those days AT ALL
I am so happy my son is fully grown

I hated the baby stage with a passion. It started getting better at 2 for me. I celebrated saying goodbye to every baby stage and couldn't wait to sell/ give away all the baby stuff. There is no way in hell I'd do that again! I think you either are or aren't a baby person, and women are complicit in the great white lie that all mothers love being mummies to tiny babies.

God I remember the baby stage... I'm so traumatised by it even 20 years later.

So bloody repetitive 🙁

I went back to work part time when they were about 4 months old (not unusual where I am). I couldn't have done it all day every day and I certainly couldn't have done it with a husband who worked away for 3 weeks at a time - I'd have gone off my head. I loved them as babies and we had lovely times but minding a small baby is relentless.

That bit I don't mind, the terrible 2s threenager & fuckings 4 on the other hand i mind very much.. we are currently at the 4's and just fml really! 😂

Everybody told me to enjoy the baby stage because before you know it they become toddlers.

Well, turns out I like the toddler stage a whole lot better. She's awake the whole morning, meaning that we can go somewhere or do something (my kid only sleeps/naps in a bed). She understand a lot of what I'm saying, including "no". She mostly sleeps through the night. She goes to sleep early in the evening, meaning that I have some free time. She can indicate when she wants food or drink or a new nappy. She tries to play with me and joke with me.

Honestly, the baby stage is overrated. Yes, they're supercute but that's it. Toddlers are way more fun. There's an occasional tantrum but that's it. That doesn't cost as much time and energy as baby night wake ups.

I'm loving my teenagers at the moment, this is the best stage of parenting for me so far and i'm getting sad thinking my eldest will be off to University in a few years. The primary years involved too many Saturdays spent at soft play.

I write in 'new baby' cards that it gets easier as they get older.

I had a happy, lively baby who generally slept through so I was very lucky. But I still found it dull after working all my life.

In the end, I bought a sling and spent my maternity leave hiking with ds either asleep or, when a bit older, looking at all the scenery.

DS2 is now 6 months old and although part of me is wishing he'd stay small, because then they just sleep and don't need so much entertaining (= more Netflix!) I cannot wait until he's older. DS1 is 2.5 and we had them so close together so we'd get through this sleep deprived, frankly boring stage ASAP! Babies are cute but they're better when they're someone else's because then you can give them back and don't have to do all the work.

So no, dont feel you have to enjoy it, everyone keeps asking me if I'm sad to be going back to work and are surprised when I say "nope, I cannot wait" - important we break this taboo of not loving every stage! Just try to find the fun in every day (as you say you do in your op) and know your DC will soon be running around doing funny dances and asking random hilarious questions 😊

I’m enjoying the toddler phase a lot more than the baby phase. It’s a lot more interesting when their personality starts coming out and you can actually DO stuff with them.
DD is just 2 and is hilarious to be around, very chatty and working out the world. I can see how when she’s just a tiny bit older it will be even better. (Not to say she isn’t still hard work at times but it’s so much less monotonous!)

They're way more fun and interesting after they turn 1, Which unfortunately is when lots of us go back to work 😂

I don't like parenting babies and toddlers but my eldest is 5 now and I genuinely enjoy being his mum. I've got another year of toddlerhood left with my youngest and I feel bad to be wishing it away but I just don't enjoy it.

Hard disagree. Potty training is the worst!

I’m going against the grain here. I thoroughly enjoyed the baby and toddler stage. I even work in Early Years because I love little ones.
From age 11 onwards however is like some particularly nasty form of torture!! Although they become quite nice again around age 25.

Team one and done here. It's not for me although it does get easier as they get older

Enjoy it? No. There were moments but generally I found babyhood really boring. And as they entered toddlerhood I resented how much minding they needed (a baby will pretty much stay where put, not an energetic toddler).
For me the sweet spot is between 6-10. Old enough to be good company and not need attention every waking moment (plus at school), young enough not to be narky and rude. Things get a bit tricky after that and adolescence can be a real rollercoaster!

I felt exactly the same way. I just couldn't understand those that loved the baby stage, the lack of sleep was just too hard! I always said never again, one and done! BUT she turned 7 last month and no.2 is due at the start of Nov lol not an accident either! 😅

That’s the deal. Lovely, melt-your-heart moments sprinkled in with grinding domestic servitude, boredom and limits on your freedom .

Wait until they’re teens. You get moments of overwhelming ‘I created you, you amazing human being’ moments in between a lot of mess, ingratitude, money grabbing, drama & bullshit.

Still really glad I had kids, though .

I loved the baby bit. I enjoyed the routine. . I really dislike the toddler bit. Im fed up with constantly handling big emotions. My older toddler had a meltdown because she wanted to go to the park. We were on the way to the park. I told her we were going to the park several times but she was hysterical because she wanted to go to the park. My younger toddler has started biting. She loves to sink her teeth onto my bingo wings. So that's great fun. I long to go back to work in all honesty. Each phase has different challenges.

Yeah the first 6m are pants - so much so that I dashed back to work when mine was that age. It was a slow uphill climb from there; crawled at 9m, walked at 15m, now at 3.5yrs I watch him do puzzles in the evening while he chats with me in his own preschooler way. Often on evenings like that I stop to marvel at how much better things are, finally 🙂

Yes, it's lovely when you get to the stage where you're not thinking "Oh shit, run, run, run!" every time your child approaches a road or dashes round a corner out of your sight for a moment.

God I needed to read this today after spending most of the day pushing DD in the pushchair and sobbing at my own failure. For me the newborn stage was blissful, she was so easy and chill, she slept, she smiled, she played happily on her play mat, I could go out because she’d sleep in the pushchair or happily chat away to herself in there, I was loving it.
3.5 months hit and my god she is someone else entirely, she won’t ever nap literally anywhere so I can’t even resort to taking her for a walk or drive because that never sends her to sleep anymore, I spend hours and hours rocking and bouncing just trying to get her to sleep and even if I achieve a good nap day and think it’s gone well, her bedtime still takes up to three and half hours of bouncing, rocking, shushing, crying and pick up/put downs. I loathe breastfeeding as it’s never gone well and honestly DD couldn’t care less if she ever gets fed but she utterly refuses a bottle so I can’t even quit.
I feel completely broken despite the fact that she’s a really happy, smiley baby who is fun to be with - but I can’t enjoy it knowing that it won’t be long before I have to battle her to sleep or attempt to feed her whilst she fights me. I’ve spent twelve years working over 40 hours a week and I just really wanted to enjoy this and I feel so low from having enjoyed the beginning so much and now feeling like I can’t cope anymore and shouldn’t have become a mother start with.

No everyone is different and enjoy the different stages of motherhood differently. I loved that age and all the little changes and just loved it. But my son is 22 now so probably have forgotten all the bad stuff to be honest. Do you have any support as that does help even though I myself had none as had left a violent partner so felt immense relief and easier to enjoy being a mum as no man to worry about. Go easy on yourself as us women all give ourselves a hard time and barely see any men doing that.

I took a full year maternity leave and from about 4 months in I was on the verge of phoning my line manager and begging to go back at least once a week. I think it was the combination of tedium and massive responsibility that made it so awful.

I'm now back at work, DC is crawling and nearly walking and he's at a stage where he will point at things and laugh with me. Yes he has big emotions and I'm sure it's going to have it's tough times but it's no longer horribly lonely. Plus I reassure myself that even if I'm not the perfect parent at least I know he's at a great nursery who definitely do know what they're doing 3 days a week!