Are we really supposed to “enjoy” this?

[Newmummy2225]

My DD is nearly 6 months old and I just don’t think being a mummy to a baby is my bag!

I don’t enjoy stressing about naps, I don’t enjoy being spit up on all the damn time, I don’t enjoy it when she is grumpy and whining, I don’t enjoy having to plan my whole day around feeds and naps, I don’t enjoy not being able to go anywhere in the evening cos she’s a tired grumpy mess by then and it’s just not worth it!

Having said all of the above, there are lovely moments every day; the way she smiles at me / her giggles absolutely melt my heart and watching her learn/develop is pretty amazing, but I honestly can’t wait for her to be older and able to communicate etc. I look at families out and about having a lovely time with their older kids and feel insane jealousy.

Am i a bad mummy for feeling this way? I know everyone says the baby stage is short, but oooof some days are long.

I only started to find life bearable when they got to about 6. But I was a SAHM not through choice.

I love them to bits but I hate parenting.

I remember thinking this when my daughter was this age, honestly I could have written it.

My daughter is 17 months now and she is running and saying words and laughing and dancing. When you're in the thick of it, it's so easy to forget how much they will change and life is only like this for the foreseeable.

Last summer I really struggled getting out the house and today I have so far been shopping, to a toddler class and the library. We are down to just the one nap now.

Tedious is a good word for it!

Thank you! I’m sure these days will all be a blur before I know it! Fingers crossed anyway 😂

I do try to get out every day. I just find it stressful trying to time it around feeds and naps etc. Always clock watching! I guess I should chill out a bit!

@Exiledone

“Still there is still not a fucks chance in hell I'd ever have another one”.

lol same!

This is lovely :). I hope I will feel the same this time next year and be on here putting those with small babies ;)

Pitying *

I loved baby bit... Toddler to 12..was hell.. Teens are fabulous, young adults the best

I did not enjoy DS1's babyhood at all. He was a sensitive high-needs velcro baby and I felt isolated, bored and overwhelmed. I felt much better after I went back to work. I didn't feel ready to even think about conceiving again until he turned 2.

But to my own surprise, I enjoyed DS2 much more (and he was definitely a more chill baby). Ds1 is 8 now and omg it just keeps getting better. He has real passions and interests now, he likes to talk about the world, he reads books and watches Newsround and takes himself to the toilet and wipes his own bum and gets his own breakfast. He's turning into a real fully developed human being and it's awesome to watch. I loved my babies. But other than the rare minute, I did not enjoy them.

I don't particularly like parenting babies - it's got better for me as DC has got older. Now DC is coming up for 5, a (somewhat) more rational creature and can watch TV at weekends until 8.30/9 while I sleep, life is pretty good.

We wanted another child with a 2/3 year age gap but, due to secondary infertility, have ended up with closer to a 5yr gap. Its not what we would have chosen, but I'm not going to lie, there are some unexpected benefits, including not chasing a 2 year old (and DC was a runner at that age) around in the heat while heavily pregnant. Though not particularly looking forward to the baby phase again...

I loved the baby part but a lot of people I love hated it. I was pretty lazy through, coslept, breastfed so no getting up in the nights, didn't feel the need to attended a lot of baby groups as getting out felt too stressful. My eldest was impossible to put down for a nap so more often than not she'd snooze in the buggy. I think my own personality thrived with the lack of routine, whereas some of my friends felt broken by it, or needed to be at baby group every day for their sanity.

I particularly loved how simple it felt, the sleepless nights were okay for me because I figured I'd prefer these ones to the ones when they're teenagers up to goodness knows what. I could solve all their problems with a boob or a cuddle or later a minimilk and a story.

That said, I was stupid as all get out, I had mine close together and the baby brain thing was relentless. I look at friends with babies now and think 'Wow I couldn't be arsed to do that again.'

It definitely gets easier in so many ways when their more independent and any one who says the baby bit isn't hard is probably misremembering. Not enjoying it is entirely normal. We all have strengths and I suspect plenty who are fantastic as the baby stage, will have their struggles at later stages.

If you're on your own so much I'm not surprised the relentlessness is getting to you.

I enjoyed it more when they went to nursery and primary then I had a break.

Now they are teens it's hard again but in a more mentally challenging way and the worry is worse.

Nope, this is normal. I absolutely hated the baby year and should really have gone back to work earlier than I did! Some people just aren't baby people.

They're much more fun and interesting once they're bigger but babies, especially newborns, are awful. I really really enjoyed the second year and now DD is older she's fabulous!

Oh and I kept having people say things like 'savour every moment' or 'they're only babies for such a short time' and felt like punching them.

Looking back I still remember that first year as really grim and every day dragging on for ever. It's weird how a day at work flies past but a day on maternity leave lasts forever?!

I basically survived by being out of the house as much as possible as being at home with a grumpy baby is zero fun. We went to a toddler group every weekday morning, then walked round the shops before having some lunch. To kill time really!

I've only just started 'enjoying' being a parent recently and my daughter has just turned 3. I found the first 14 months (before walking) just tedious and then it got gradually more bearable as she became more independent.

I went (skipped!) back to work at 12 weeks and I remember a 'congratulations on your new baby' card going round for a colleague. I just genuinely did not know what to write in that card - I truly felt it was nothing to celebrate!

I have no regrets about wishing the first year away - I don't miss a thing about that stage - and she is most certainly going to remain an only child. The thought of doing that again brings me out in a cold sweat! I am genuinely pleased though for the people who do enjoy it. It just wasn't for me.

Honestly I didn't enjoy the baby stage at all. I genuinely thought I wasn't 'cut out' to be a mother. However my son has just turned 2 - he's a very hyper, cheeky toddler so still challenging but he is hilarious, kind, loving and sleeps 7-7. There's so much more things you can do with them that they enjoy at this age too. I absolutely love being a mom now hope it gets better for you too OP, I think it will!

One day you'll look back amd long to have that 6 month old ba y back again to cuddle.. don't wish it away, just enjoy the moment, because they grow up so quick

THIS is exactly the sort of comment I hated in that first year.

Six years on and I have never thought back longingly to having a six month old. I remember it with a shudder and a sense of relief we're no longer at that stage.

Whatever. I don't long for either baby at all. They were cute, but I much prefer them now when they can talk to me.

Another advantage of not adoring the baby stage: you don't get all maudlin about them growing up.

I've enjoyed it much more since DD was 18m old onwards
Months 3-15 were hard work

I really struggled with the baby stage. It was so, so hard! I much preferred it when they were toddlers and older

Primary years are great fun. Then it gets hard again in ways it’s difficult to explain

I know you mean well with this sentiment and I don't doubt that it's true for many people; however, it is not a universal experience and you have no idea that the OP will look back at this time with anything but relief that it's over.

Gosh I struggled a lot with a young baby. So fragile and yet so dull. He was fun when he became sassy and sarky!