AIBU Partners child stressing out my nursing kitten.

[Godsakesss]

My cat has 3, 2 week old baby’s and she is incredibly protective over them. She is in a secure room and I don’t want anyone unfamiliar around them until they are older. When they was 1 week old he (7 years) stormed into the living room and was stamping all over the place and tried picking up the kittens. My partner just stood there and didn’t say anything so I said “it’s time to go for a walk now guys”. Now he is coming over Sunday and my partner said “he can hold one of the kittens” to which I replied no, they are still very delicate and mum is stressed out enough as is. He acted as though I was being horrible but I’m protecting my cat and her kittens from more stress. He seems to be more concerned with pleasing his son than actually teaching him that he can’t always have his way. Just for a bit of context when she was pregnant he was chasing her around the house and shuvving crisp packets in her face and trying to use a foam roller on her stomach so she doesn’t like him at all but yet my boyfriend thinks I’m being unreasonable for saying I don’t want him around the kittens (if at all) until they are older.

Nursing CAT that sounds awful haha. She’s 2 years old.

I don’t disagree with your thinking but as you clearly don’t like his kid- or his parenting- I’m thinking cut your losses now? You sound incompatible.

Dump your boyfriend for being a useless spineless Disney dad.

At 7 he should know better. How long is he staying. I would fit a lock on the door so he cannot get to the cat and kittens. If they ask why just tell them he is not responsible enough to see them.

I'm sorry but I'd be seriously reconsidering the relationship. There are a couple of things-

He's not interested in your cats welfare.
He's not interested in learning from you/taking you seriously (about what your cat needs- and what else?).

You aren't able to effectively manage his child in this situation- positively explain to him that the babies are very delicate, and the mummy needs to be left alone to look after them.

I had kittens with a 4 yr old and a baby, and my 4 yr old knew the babies were very delicate and we need to be very careful with them. Children are perfectly capable of behaving appropriately if they are taught how. That isn't happening. That's not sustainable.

Stand firm. A 7 year old is well old enough to know the word no and that picking on animals like that is not good.

She needs her rest. If she gets stressed too much, she could lose her milk, abandon them, or worse kill them.

Sounds like a pesky 2 y old; I was shocked that a 7 behaves like that. He's old enough to understand explanations about helpless babies, protective mother, peace and quiet etc and comply.

I'd just keep him away from the cat.kittens. Explain it's because he was too rough.

This sounds very unpleasant

for the child, not you, the kittens or the father

the child

Kid needs to pack it in. Poor mum cat needs a break. Time to have her spayed!

@Ohthatsexciting how on Earth have you figured that one out?!
At 7 he is old enough to know bloody better. I can't stand people being irritating or worse to animals and the fact dad allows it is not on. I would be seriously contemplating the relationship to be honest OP.

And yes spay her! Why wasn’t she spayed.

Let me guess? You feel she should experience motherhood at once

I am sad for your cat that you've let her be harassed this much already. Also why are you breeding her?!

She’s fixed now. I took her in from the shelter and found out she was pregnant. Kittens are all going to loving homes.

A 7-year-old should be able to be taught they have to be quiet and gentle around new kittens. I’d expect to be able to allow them a peep with lots of ‘shhh, don’t disturb her’.
This sounds like a bigger problem though, with your partner ignoring what you say about the welfare of your cat.

I would also be explaining to the 7 year old that the kittens are still far too small for anyone to be picking up and that they need to stay with their mum and she needs to be left alone with them

Disney Dad is doing his child no favours. Kid needs to be told in no uncertain terms to stay away from the kittens, because he is too rough. If he doesn’t like it, tough. Someone has to get it through to him if his father won’t.

Run. It's not worth it. The kid is a nightMare and the dad js useless. This won't get better.

As pp have said, you might expect that from a 2 yo but not a 7yo! My 4yo would understand 'don't touch them, we have to be careful'.

I'd just ban them from the house until the kittens go to their new homes (and perhaps forever if you're so minded...). Welfare of the cat needs to come first.

No. The child needs to come first !

With 2 adults in the house it is not hard to maintain appropriate boundaries, protect the cat and kittens and allow the child to be there. It’s down to the adults to take charge of the situation

Agreed but surrounded by adults who either don’t really give a toss about their development or behaviour OR the OP, who clearly is very far from keen on his presence.

@FishAndChipps no, the cat and kittens need to come first. Child doesn’t NEED to be disruptive and noisy near cats, that is a choice.

Is he always so badly behaved?

Are they now out of the living room and in a room the dss can be told not to go in?

Your very spayed your cat 2 weeks after she gave birth?

That's awful behaviour from a 7 year old. I have 3 cats (one only 9 weeks old) and my older kids ages 10 and 5 are very careful and gentle with them. I have to monitor my just turned 3 year old around the kitten but I expect that. I can't believe your partner thinks his child's behaviour is acceptable.

Good spot. Isn't it supposed to be 5/6 weeks?