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Original poster

Nans obsession with transgender

68 replies

Shellyxx · 19/07/2022 12:09

So basically. My Nan is 86, and she’s OBSESSED with reading the paper and watching the news (I don’t do either, usually bc it’s full of shit) and she has this obsession with telling me all the horrible stuff going on in the world, all the morbid stuff and things I’ve never heard of… the pst year shes been obsessed and I mean OBSESSED with trans people, and sexual assaults. She keeps telling me about children who have been sexually assaulted and says she’s worried about My daughter.. well I’m like, she’s in my care. Why are you worrying? Then she said that schools are gonna ‘offer’ children if they wanna be girls or boys 🤨 now idm how people live their lives I literally do not care, however I won’t have someone asking my 4 year old if she wants to be a boy… so I always tell my Nan, My daughter won’t be exposed to that type of conversation at a young age. But she is OBSESSED and I mean she won’t stop talking about it. Every damn time I’m there. Even my uncle shouted at her yesterday bc he said she is getting too much with it. Anyway I keep telling her she’s worrying about nothing and she’s got an unhealthy obsession and I’m my daughters mother and just leave it to me there’s no need for her to worry.

ANYWAY. Yesterday I left My daughter with my Nan whilst I took my uncle for his new car.

This morning My daughter has woken up and started talking about girls becoming boys if they want to. I asked her who told her that and she said nanny.. I am MAD. There was no need for that conversation to go ahead. I love my Nan but I’m so mad I could literally scream. Am I over reacting? I mean she’s 4….

OP posts:
sleepymum50 · 19/07/2022 12:27

Are you in the UK?

There is a lot of concern generally about the way transgender activists are pushing their agenda, especially in schools.

May I suggest you have a look at the feminism board -sex and gender so you can see at least what the fuss is about.

By not engaging with your Nan and completely dismissing her, you are possibly unintentionally causing her to redouble her efforts.

I know you say you are not interested in the news and that is your prerogative. But as it is now directly affecting your child, I really think you should take time to educate yourself about this issue.

you may decide your Nan is talking utter bollocks, but if you try and connect with her it can only be to the benefit of your daughter.

You May even decide that there is actually something going on which concerns you. Just because your Nan is old doesn’t mean she is mad and stupid.

SirenSays · 19/07/2022 12:30

Yeah I think you're overreacting. She's worried and almost 90!

TidyDancer · 19/07/2022 12:33

Her concerns are not unfounded but she shouldn't be talking to your DD about it.

Original poster
Shellyxx · 19/07/2022 12:35

I agree that her concerns are real, and this is what is going on in the world ect.

But my real frustration lies where she took it on herself to talk to my 4 year old about it behind my back.

OP posts:
HettyMeg · 19/07/2022 15:41

I think your nan is being ridiculous. Less than 1% of the population is transgender, it is a fringe issue that doesn't affect your child. She is probably reading too many right-wing tabloids that are currently making it into a bigger issue than it is.

Hyperion100 · 19/07/2022 15:46

Tell her to stop reading the express and the mail!

They are purveyors of fear porn, not news.

ShrillSiren22 · 19/07/2022 15:48

If she wants to moan about the news just remind her not to moan to your 4yo as it’s inappropriate and confusing for her

Original poster
Shellyxx · 19/07/2022 15:49

HettyMeg · 19/07/2022 15:41

I think your nan is being ridiculous. Less than 1% of the population is transgender, it is a fringe issue that doesn't affect your child. She is probably reading too many right-wing tabloids that are currently making it into a bigger issue than it is.

Thank you, I agree!

OP posts:
Original poster
Shellyxx · 19/07/2022 15:49

Hyperion100 · 19/07/2022 15:46

Tell her to stop reading the express and the mail!

They are purveyors of fear porn, not news.

Thank you! I've told her to stop reading them but she's having none of it. I hate it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shellyxx · 19/07/2022 15:50

ShrillSiren22 · 19/07/2022 15:48

If she wants to moan about the news just remind her not to moan to your 4yo as it’s inappropriate and confusing for her

I agree! Thank you!

OP posts:
GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 19/07/2022 15:57

Surely if she's so worried about it affecting your daughter (regardless of if you agree with her or not) then the last bloody thing she should have done is said that?! Why even introduce the concept to a 4 yr old, if her worry is that the 4 yr old will be introduced to it? It makes no sense at all.

Tbh, if you're angry, I'd bloody tell her that. That you had no concerns about your DD being affected by this at her age, right up to the point where SHE has affected her!

Original poster
Shellyxx · 19/07/2022 16:01

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 19/07/2022 15:57

Surely if she's so worried about it affecting your daughter (regardless of if you agree with her or not) then the last bloody thing she should have done is said that?! Why even introduce the concept to a 4 yr old, if her worry is that the 4 yr old will be introduced to it? It makes no sense at all.

Tbh, if you're angry, I'd bloody tell her that. That you had no concerns about your DD being affected by this at her age, right up to the point where SHE has affected her!

Exactly my point. You hit the nail on the head. I've made it clear via my uncle and I haven't heard anything back yet. I'll either get silence which means she doesn't care and still thinks she's in the right or an apology. I'm waiting!

OP posts:
MrsOwainGlyndŵr · 19/07/2022 16:05

I wouldn't be so sure it was your nan who fed DD "that shit".

Kids from Reception up are getting fed "that shit" in school these days.

Georgeskitchen · 19/07/2022 16:08

MrsOwainGlyndŵr · 19/07/2022 16:05

I wouldn't be so sure it was your nan who fed DD "that shit".

Kids from Reception up are getting fed "that shit" in school these days.

Correct. Scottish schools in particular. Your Nan is right to be concerned

rarge · 19/07/2022 16:10

HettyMeg · 19/07/2022 15:41

I think your nan is being ridiculous. Less than 1% of the population is transgender, it is a fringe issue that doesn't affect your child. She is probably reading too many right-wing tabloids that are currently making it into a bigger issue than it is.

Well it's not really a fringe issue, vulnerable teens can be taken in by it. But there's no reason for the Nan to be worried at this point in time, especially when OP is already on the same page.

tiredanddangerous · 19/07/2022 16:10

Less than 1% of the population? Tell that to the kids in the secondary school I work at - there are several in each form who have announced they are transgender.

it's a worrying trend but your nan is being way over the top. I think you'll have to limit contact.

Original poster
Shellyxx · 19/07/2022 16:11

MrsOwainGlyndŵr · 19/07/2022 16:05

I wouldn't be so sure it was your nan who fed DD "that shit".

Kids from Reception up are getting fed "that shit" in school these days.

It was 100% her. My daughter is in nursery but hasn't been for a few months now due to health issues. She's with me 99.99% of the time.

OP posts:
UWhatNow · 19/07/2022 16:12

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

bellinisurge · 19/07/2022 16:14

Your nan, as a woman, has lived through a lot of misogynistic shit and hoped, as we all did, that it was on the wane because, as a sex class, we had won a lot of rights.
Gender ideology seeks to define women as something other than a sex class and she has spotted it.
This isn't a minority issue unless you think the rights of 51% of the population is a majority issue.
Good for your nan. Despite having the invisibility cloak that younger people try to give older women, she's identified the problem.

DogsAndGin · 19/07/2022 16:14

YANBU. No more time with Nan unsupervised.

There are several people in my family who will not be having unsupervised time with my baby when she comes, because of their need to push their nonsense opinions

OvaHere · 19/07/2022 16:15

It's not a fringe issue. The loss of single sex spaces, sports and all the other issues discussed on the feminism boards may well impact your daughter as she gets older.

However I agree your Nan shouldn't be discussing it with your 4 year old. It's not her place to do so and 4 is far too young to understand yet and likely to be at best confused and at worst distressed.

bellinisurge · 19/07/2022 16:16

As for "talking about it all the time ", this is an important thing and perhaps if you weren't so dismissive of her, she'd have something else to talk about

carefullycourageous · 19/07/2022 16:17

Unfortunately the only way you can deal with this is to not allow your DD to go there unsupervised. Your child is too young really to understand when to ignore Granny and when to listen.

carefullycourageous · 19/07/2022 16:19

bellinisurge · 19/07/2022 16:16

As for "talking about it all the time ", this is an important thing and perhaps if you weren't so dismissive of her, she'd have something else to talk about

Even those of us who take the issue very seriously understand it is not necessary to talk about it all the time.

bellinisurge · 19/07/2022 16:23

Maybe she doesn't have people to talk to about it. As she's in her 80s maybe she's concerned at what kind of mess will be left for women and girls when she's gone.
And one person's "all the time " isn't the same as another person's "all the time

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