Nans obsession with transgender

[Shellyxx]

So basically. My Nan is 86, and she’s OBSESSED with reading the paper and watching the news (I don’t do either, usually bc it’s full of shit) and she has this obsession with telling me all the horrible stuff going on in the world, all the morbid stuff and things I’ve never heard of… the pst year shes been obsessed and I mean OBSESSED with trans people, and sexual assaults. She keeps telling me about children who have been sexually assaulted and says she’s worried about My daughter.. well I’m like, she’s in my care. Why are you worrying? Then she said that schools are gonna ‘offer’ children if they wanna be girls or boys 🤨 now idm how people live their lives I literally do not care, however I won’t have someone asking my 4 year old if she wants to be a boy… so I always tell my Nan, My daughter won’t be exposed to that type of conversation at a young age. But she is OBSESSED and I mean she won’t stop talking about it. Every damn time I’m there. Even my uncle shouted at her yesterday bc he said she is getting too much with it. Anyway I keep telling her she’s worrying about nothing and she’s got an unhealthy obsession and I’m my daughters mother and just leave it to me there’s no need for her to worry.

ANYWAY. Yesterday I left My daughter with my Nan whilst I took my uncle for his new car.

This morning My daughter has woken up and started talking about girls becoming boys if they want to. I asked her who told her that and she said nanny.. I am MAD. There was no need for that conversation to go ahead. I love my Nan but I’m so mad I could literally scream. Am I over reacting? I mean she’s 4….

This is not a fringe issue; it's a very real issue and as suggested up thread, it would be beneficial to you to educate yourself on this.

Whilst I concede your nan should not be having conversations of this nature with a 4 year old child, it doesn't mean that it's not an issue. It is. And the future could be bleak for women and girls on so many levels - and that's putting it mildly!

Love the naïveté

Lol it's better your Nan gets to her before the creeps do. You might think she's overreacting but I'm quite disturbed by it too.

Either way, tell her to not talk to your daughter about it

You really need to try to find out more about what's happening with this.

There are a couple of separate areas - one is the dismantling of women's sex based rights - eg if your daughter was older, was disabled and in a care home would you be happy with a man changing her tampon?

Are you aware that schools have been quietly allowing kids to name change and be treated as though they're the opposite sex? Did you know that puberty blockers have been prescribed for children, without anyone knowing the actual long term effects of these? How old is old enough for a child to decide they're trans?

Children are being mutilated, try reading the stories of detransitioners and see the abuse they get from others in the trans community. Did you know that girls as young as 16 can have mastectomies? (they call it top surgery). How will you stop your girl doing this if she's able to do this behind your back while being supported by people you have no idea she is talking to.?

I'm in my 60s, we grew up with a total acceptance that women could wear and be anything they wanted, and so could men. Our glam rock pop stars wore make up and dresses and no one batted an eyelid. Some people had gender dysphoria and lived in our communities as women - old style transsexuals. Unfortunately that tiny minority are now known as truscum because they don't believe that Stonewall's expansion of what it means to be trans is correct. The transgender umbrella shows everyone who's been included as transgender now - literally it's anyone who says they are.

Prisoners just have to say they're transwomen and it's highly likely they'll be put into a women's prison. It happens. It's called self id. They often magically change back to men once they're out (unless they've been removed for sexually assaulting female prisoners).

www.scottishdailyexpress.co.uk/news/scottish-news/anger-trans-inmates-revert-males-25840252

Your Nan might not fully understand this - I didn't at first. Initially I was full on ranting to everyone - it's confusing because there are so many strands to it. For example, cross dressers are men who get off by dressing up as women. They frequently film themselves masturbating in women's spaces just because they can. It took a few years for me to have a better understanding of it, and it didn't make me feel any better about it.

Of course she shouldn't have spoken to your little one about it, but she's probably worried sick because you're ignoring anything she says. I'd be worried too if I was her. You need to be fully aware of everything so you can properly safeguard your child.

You could say "yes, Nan, people are finally being allowed to have a conversation about this. I can guarantee my daughter will be brought up to be clear about her boundaries and to speak to me when she feels uncomfortable. I can't guarantee she will never see or hear people trying to fudge those boundaries". And then ask her to talk about something else.

Fabulous post!! If I could give awards for this I would 🎉

What @otherbookmarks said. Don't fall for "it's just about the 'rights' of a tiny vulnerable minority" nonsense.

My 6yo has been asked for her pronouns, and therefore planting the idea that she might not be a girl, so it is happening. Your nan shouldn't be talking to your DC about it though, apart from emphasising that girls can do anything they want to do.

OP: I'm worried about my obsessive nan who has talks about trans issues constantly a propos of nothing
Mumsnet: We are her spiritual home

OP does your nan get out much? I bet if she had more in her life then she wouldn't ramble on about this stuff so much

It's inappropriate for your nan to be discussing this with your daughter and I would be inclined to have a word with her about it.

However, it's absolutely not a fringe issue. it's a real threat to women's rights, safety and dignity. Please don't be tempted to dismiss it as the ramblings of an elderly woman.

"bet if she had more in her life then she wouldn't ramble on about this stuff so much"

Ageism and misogyny. Noice look.

Get your nan on Mumsnet. Some magnificent voices and also gobshites like me are not falling for the "Be Kind" bollocks. She can talk to us.

If you change the title of this thread to Nan's obsession with women's rights - which is what it is - wouldn't sound so belittling

Your man is absolutely right to be concerned. There is a huge assault on female rights going on right now.

Perhaps not appropriate to speak to your DD about it though.

And it's not a fringe issue. It affects all females as our rights are being stolen from us.

Haha!
She doesn't! She used to pre pandemic daily with friends but now she doesn't venture out alone.

There's at least 10% of the teenage girls (in some classes more like 30%) in my school who are currently saying they are trans. It's an all girls school. I'm going to assume there's less in schools where they actually see boys!

Even if it was just 1,% that's still quite a few people!

Here's an alternative OP
"My granddaughter doesn't take safeguarding concerns seriously and so I'm talking directly to my great granddaughter AIBU".
To which a reasonable response would be "you should talk to your granddaughter ".
But she's spoken to you and you think it's obsessive, OP.
Maybe you should listen to her

Your nan has a point.

Get your Nan on Mumsnet. Lots of us share her concerns. Maybe she would enjoy discussing the issues with others who have their eyes open to the issues.

Good suggestion @Penguintears

Why on earth would she make your daughter start worrying about it and introduce her to the idea if she's so concerned about that happening?? Does she maybe think that she's trying to get in there first before society does or is so worried that you're not taking it seriously that she's taken it upon herself to deal with it? Really not on. It doesn't sound as though she can be trusted to have your daughter alone right now.

And I'm sorry but you are being a bit naive. I don't agree with what she has done, and I wouldn't do that myself, but I understand where her worries are coming from. As the parent of a 4 year old you won't see it yet.

My oldest son is in high school and every single class has multiple children who claim to be transgender. As do the activity groups he goes to (who also go on residential trips and have sex segregated dorms on those trips...). You can see where I'm going with this. It's a bloody nightmare. It's not a minority issue and it's everywhere he goes. His school have just sent parents a link to their updated curriculum. Transgenderism and gender identity were mentioned in at least five separate modules. I don't know how much longer people are going to keep sticking their fingers in their ears and claiming that it's a niche issue which will never affect anyone in real life when it's actually a part of daily life for many teenagers.

I spent his childhood telling him that gender was a social construct, that he can be or like anything he wants to be and now even his bloody school are doing their best to undermine my efforts. It's

This is quite insensitive. Given the implications for single sex care of vulnerable people, it’s not hard to understand how an elderly woman might find these developments concerning. A little imagination is perhaps needed here

Your nan sound very astute, you should be proud of her!