Leaving playgrounds ...

[winterfox78]

...without a tantrum happening ..

My DD is turning 4 in August.

I love taking her to playgrounds ...and have done so since she was a newborn...

Since she was about 3.3 years ...I've found it hard to get her to leave the playground when it's time to go...

Today was a prime example.

A new playground ...so exciting new slides and great stuff to play on...

After an hour and a half I thought that was enough time ..we should be going..

Gave her the"leaving in 5 minutes..." again had to say it again...

After 2 hours there I said we really have to go now..cur the shouting and "no not going".. cry's and shouts..

I managed to leave the playground but outside full blown tantrum...in the car park...had to lift her into car and buckle her in as didn't want her running into a car in car park...

Calmed down after a few minutes in the car so that was fine. Gave her snack and water. Drive home was fine. No fuss.

I just don't want to have the tantrum when leaving. It kind of wrecks the day.

Plus - although I shouldn't care - of course feel embarrassed when she's shouting and im trying to get her to leave...
Feel shit and the only parent it happens to..

Go when you say you need to go. Your five minute warnings are useless if you don't follow through. She knows you don't mean it so kicks off when you actually do leave. You'll have a couple of tantrums the first few times and then she'll just accept it

You need to be consistent. No extra time. 10, 5 and last turn countdown. And now it’s time to come to car and have a snack/drink of milk or whatever and then go home.

Mine used to hate leaving the park- I agree with the 5 min warning you have to stick to it.

Sometimes I set a timer on my phone for 10 mins and when the bell goes he has to leave 😂 (which he does)

What do i do if she doesn't follow me to leave?

I say clearly 5 minutes and then we have to go..

"No" runs off to next play equipment.

My daughter was similar (4 last August) as she's got a bit older we've been able to talk to her before ( we're going to the park now, it's time to leave when mummy says etc). And then longer warnings, 15, 10, 5 min. School has helped, assuming she is starting in September

@winterfox78 maybe the 5minute thing has no context really, is it easier to say 4 more goes on the slide, 10 more swings on the swing? We always say goodbye to the swing and slide (she is only 2 although proper tantrum territory)and talk about when we might come back and see the slide again

Sorry hit post too early. If you do the number of things then you can make it fun counting and reward her when she counts well

OP , then you go and get her and carry her out if necessary. You have told her 5 mins then you leave after 5 mins. I've been there, she will soon learn.

Try saying something like, "I know, you wish you could stay here and play. Would you like to skip to the car park or walk?"

Could she be hungry and/ or thirsty when it's time to leave? You could try doing the "one more go on the X, then we'll have a drink/ snack and go"

My DS never seemed to realise when he was hungry and just got grumpy instead

I do a 5 minutes, then at 1 minutes to go I say "1 minute, 1 last chance to go on your favourite thing" and then we go.

I did do a lot of carrying him out of playgrounds when he was younger so think he's learnt that "time to go" means time to go.

Rather than use time which even if they're aware of at that age is still fairly abstract, say x more goes on y equipment or whatever- and then stand firm. If a tantrum gets an extension of time then they will keep coming! I used to get really frazzled by tantrums like this and its hard to get a handle on them, but realistically they're crying and screaming because they can't get their own way rather than being in distress because they're poorly or hurt etc, and they need boundaries.

One more go on favourite thing then snack and a drink for the way home.

She's 3. Pick her up and carry her under your arm if you have to.

I always say "We need to go in X mins, what do you want to play on before we go?", and agree what she'll do. (DD is older now but did this A LOT in lockdown). It takes a while to embed but over time it sinks in.

I might be reading a different thread here but to me it’s clear the OP is following through and is picking her DD up and removing her.

She just wants tips on how to say ‘we are leaving the playground now!’ And her DD to say ‘OK mummy!’

correct, OP?

I think you have been given some good ideas, OP.

Especially acknowledging what she’s struggling with.

I’d add maybe a quick ‘hide and seek in the park bit’ to get her out of the playground bit. Just to ease the transition.

I used the timer on my phone. I would tell her she has 5/10 mins and then the timer will go off and its time to leave.

it seemed to work and now we dont need the timer.

saying 5 mins means nothing as they don’t have concept of time…

Pick up child. Bundle child into car. Buckle child in . Drive home.
Do not let child dictate what happens

How about giving her a choice eg ' we have to leave soon, would you like to leave in 6 or 8 minutes?' (As an example) then set the timer and let her know when her chosen time is up. Then pick up and carry out to follow through if necessary!

Try putting a timer on your phone and then when it beeps show them. I provide a reason why we have to go eg. Lunch or to play at home or something that is attractive but not exactly a bribe

Not quite, @ThThescentoftheocean. Read the OPS posts again. OP says five minutes after an hour and a half, then finally leaves after 2 hours...

Also re-enforce before you go somewhere.
As in: last time you made a big fuss about leaving, this time you need to come when I say - promise? Or, if you make a fuss about leaving we won't be able to come here again / so much.

My son is autistic and struggles with transitions.

I try to let him play as long as he can, even if it's boring for me unless we have to go somewhere else I don't make him finish after an hour.

If your daughter understands I would set the expectation in advance we can stay until this time and show her.

You could at home have a now and next board, we will go the the park then go to the supermarket.

I don't hold the snack till you're out the park I have that immediately as we are leaving to help the transition.

If he does get upset I tell him I understand it's hard to leave the park but we will be back on x day.

You also have to follow through if you do a countdown.

Most kids don't have any concept of time.

"Dd we are going soon, count five more goes on the slide and I'll give you ten big pushes on the swing, then we need to go home for lunch"