Would you go on holiday without your baby?

[Decisionstomakenow]

I have the opportunity to go away child free for a week away in the sun. Partner will look after our 8 month old. However, I’m struggling to jump at the chance of going away, as much as I want to. A week is a long time for mother and baby to be apart in my opinion. I do 80% of the caring for her so it’s safe to say we’re quite attached to one another.

Tell me your experiences both good and bad, any regrets etc? Thanks

I left mine for a night at 6 weeks, 4 nights at 3 months and a week at 11 months. They were absolutely fine, didn’t care that I wasn’t there! They’re now 4, and if I had a week to myself I’d be out the door so fast. A whole week to myself sounds glorious!

26 years ago I left my 8 month old to go away for 5 days. Dh was more than capable. I phoned once to say I'd arrived safely and that was it till I got home...before the days of mobile phones ( well for me anyway).

I wouldn't at that age, I would maybe leave for a night if I was local but probably not. My daughter will be 18 months and I'll be going to Paris for work hopefully but have said no more than two nights. I think it's different if you're in the same country

Go! We went away together when DS was 6 months for 4 nights. Left him with both sets of grandparents for two nights each. No harm came to anyone!

Im amazed your partner is up for it

I wouldn't want to be left alone to cope 24/7 of baby is waking up

@wotsitsaremyfave what??? He’s the babies dad 😂 why would he not be up for looking after his own child

@wotsitsaremyfave I'm sure he can handle doing a few night wakeups for his own child. The baby will be 8 months old so will be likely be doing decent stretches anyway.

This is why a lot of women moan on here about their OH. OP should be able to go away without her baby for a week.

Too many mums let motherhood consume them it's unhealthy ... no wonder we end up with PND!

Your probably an over bearing mum. The baby will be fine... mothers who speak like this need to dig deep and find an outlet for themselves.

I would say a week is probably too long given the circumstances.
Maybe try 2 or 3 days? And see how it goes.

Those of you say 'I could never leave my baby' or 'babies need their mummies' - how would your DC cope if you were rushed into hospital or worse don't you want to raise a happy, independent child?

Personally I have chosen not to have even a night away from my 2 year old yet. I just can't bring myself to do it to him as I know he'd be looking for me and wondering where I'd gone. But he is breastfed so that plays into it too.

But each to their own.

as a Mum i wouldn't like being left to manage for a week by myself. But maybe becuase work full time and find it hard to cope. Not for a week. BOth parents need to be around in those early days. Crack on and go for a long weekend as i do understand the need to escape.

Of course I want my child to be independent at an appropriate age. But I subscribe to the view that you don't achieve this by forcing independence on a baby or toddler. They're biologically hard wired to be dependent on their mother at that age, and by meeting those needs when they are small I believe we set them up for developing independence when they're biologically ready to.

Mine’s 4 months and I’d jump at the chance of a week away! 😆

I wouldn’t do it at this age unless I knew my partner had some extra support because he’s obviously not sleeping through the night yet but I assume it’s bit easier at 8 months.

Parenting is hard bloody work. I still feel like I’m not sure who I am now in this new life and a week away sounds like a brilliant opportunity to recharge and reset and maybe reconnect a bit with yourself if you feel like you still haven’t been able to do that? You’ll come back reenergised and looking forward to spending time with your little one.

As long as your partner has the capacity/ support he needs, why not? And by capacity/support I don’t mean that he’s less capable because he’s the dad, but just that doing it on your own for a week is obviously harder especially if working!

It’s a bit depressing how many people on this thread seem to view the dad as the lesser parent.

When is the trip? When do you need to decide?
To me the big issue is that Dad hasn't had her alone. Even when you needed sleep, Nan had her not Dad. Holiday or not, I think you need to rectify this.
One step at a time, so lunch with your Mom in the next town; late dinner and drinks with the girls but home by 12 and he's on wake ups; One night away. Etc.

I'm leaving mine for three nights, they're 2, 2 and 7 and it's three nights. I feel sick at the thought of it but hoping it will be worth it.

Agree with PP to look at whether you need a break

I would 100% go away (and I did) but not for a week. I've gone on at least one 4 night trip a year since dc born but couldn't do longer as I'd miss dc too much and the last few days wouldn't be enjoyable.

Tbf I wouldn't have been up for solo parenting at 8 months for a week whilst he went off for a jolly. I think it's a big ask. Doesn't mean she shouldn't ask, he might be fine with it.

I don;t think Dads are the lesser parent. They are the equal parent. I would personally love to bugger off for a week by myself but I would hate for my husband to do that and therefore I wouldn;t do it myself

I would, and did, have time away when they were younger than 8m.

I trust my DH to look after the baby perfectly well.

And I trust my strong and loving relationship with my child to be unchanged after 1 week apart.

And I would relish some me time and would come back refreshed and energised.

But I'm not you, so you do what's best for you.

She's 8 months old. She won't know your gone or even remember it. Do it, if you have the opportunity.

I wouldn't.

@SleepingStandingUp it's individual isn't it but there's some very odd responses on here. He is the dad ffs.

Don't dad's often work a week away whilst baby is 8 months old?

Thank you all, it’s been really helpful reading through a lot of these replies.

I should probably have said baby will be 9 months nearing 10 when the holiday actually happens but not that it makes much difference. She still wakes up around 2 times a night to feed and has always been bottle fed so no breastfeeding issues.

In regards to dad, he’s never had her on his own without me being in the house, not even for one night. He’s always helped with the night feeds when he’s been off work but he’s never had to do the full night and then have her all day as well. If I go on holiday then this is what will be happening - 24/7 responsibility. Worth mentioning there will be no other support as gran is going on holiday also and that would be the only person he could have sought help from.

Me creating a thread is in itself a huge hesitation to book. If I felt 100% confident about this I’d have booked without even seeking advice from anybody. Truth is, I don’t know how baby will react, will she look for me and be upset? Will she wonder where I’ve gone and if I’m ever coming back?

A few of you have said babies don’t remember or notice but is that really true? Will dad be able to settle her when she’s upset if she does get upset? He’s good with her but he’s never had her for 24hours without my help so it’s hard to assume it’ll all be smooth.

Ahhh so much to think about.

whether she remembers is debateable but to suggest that at 8 months a child has no comprehension of who their caregivers are and won't notice if the primary one isnt around for days on end is ridiculous. Whether Dad can manage that etc is a different matter