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Original poster

Would you go on holiday without your baby?

135 replies

Decisionstomakenow · 20/06/2022 17:09

I have the opportunity to go away child free for a week away in the sun. Partner will look after our 8 month old. However, I’m struggling to jump at the chance of going away, as much as I want to. A week is a long time for mother and baby to be apart in my opinion. I do 80% of the caring for her so it’s safe to say we’re quite attached to one another.

Tell me your experiences both good and bad, any regrets etc? Thanks

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Pennyhill22 · 20/06/2022 17:50

Definitely not. My DC are 14,12 and 10 and I wouldn't want to be away from them for a week.

I know plenty who have though.

User3568975431146 · 20/06/2022 17:51

Not in a million years. You're a family now, you do things together.

usernotfound0000 · 20/06/2022 17:52

I did 3 nights at that age and was fine. I don't think I could have managed a week away from them at that age though.

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User3568975431146 · 20/06/2022 17:55

Decisionstomakenow · 20/06/2022 17:17

@berksandbeyond Wow, 4 years and not a single night away?

I'm 20 plus years and not a night away from them by me going away without them!

They've been away with friends etc which is fine, but it's been vital for me for them to know that they're the most important people/things in my life.

They're amazing adults who thankfully are all happy and doing well but they know that I'm here if they ever need me.

Feeellostindirection · 20/06/2022 18:01

I had 4 nights away on a hen wknd when dd was 11 months, I did 95% of the caring for her and we were/are very close, and I did miss her like crazy, however she was just fine with dp when I away and barely glanced up when I got home! Was slightly hurt at the time. She's 16 now though and of course doesn't remember a thing about it.

trevthecat · 20/06/2022 18:02

Ok my use of handle it was maybe wrong! My dh would be fine as he does over 50% with the kids when he is home. I was the main carer but the kids were very much looked after by him also.
For me, I was ready and I was confident my children would be emotionally and physically fine with their father and without me for a few days/ a week. I don't think I would want to be away longer, even now that the youngest is nearly 5 yrs.
It is a personal situation and choice. Do what fits best for you

Simonjt · 20/06/2022 18:02

Well yes and no, I personally wouldn’t go on holiday without my daughter who is a similar age, however in the same breath my husband is taking her to Sweden this week so she can meet her great grandparents. So while I’m more than happy for him to take her away, I personally wouldn’t choose to go away without her just yet.

There isn’t a general right or wrong, its about whats best in your personal situation, it shouldn’t really matter what other families choose.

WashMeThroughly · 20/06/2022 18:03

No way, @Decisionstomakenow

JadeTC · 20/06/2022 18:07

Totally personal decision, only you can say whether you're ready to or not.
I went away for 2 nights when DS was almost 1 for a hen weekend and had a brilliant time. DH and DS had a fab weekend and it did wonders for their (already good) bond. And I still have a wonderful relationship with DS. I would have struggled with a week away though, but as lots have said - it's a personal decision! 😊

Lazypuppy · 20/06/2022 18:11

At 8 months 100% i would, but we started spending nights away from DD from 2 months old, we have family she is looked after by, and honeatly qt that age 1 day or 7 the baby won't really know the difference

RandomQuest · 20/06/2022 18:14

I’ve done lots of short trips of 2-3 nights away from mine. I don’t know that I’d do a full week, if it were me then I’d go but would book an early flight home after 3-4 nights. But it’s not me so do what suits you and your family!!

actiongirl1978 · 20/06/2022 18:20

DH and i went on honeymoon for 6 nights when DD was 7 months old.

We then left DD and DS when he was 7 months old for a 5 night anniversary trip to the US. That was too far for me and I missed them, but Europe for honeymoon was fine.

On both occasions left with loving GPs who had v hands on relationship with the children.

actiongirl1978 · 20/06/2022 18:21

Actually I'd be more worried about being away from them now they are teens.

berksandbeyond · 20/06/2022 18:26

Decisionstomakenow · 20/06/2022 17:17

@berksandbeyond Wow, 4 years and not a single night away?

Yep, grandparents aren't very local and just haven't felt comfortable with it really!

mirrorballer · 20/06/2022 18:29

berksandbeyond · 20/06/2022 17:15

I wouldn't and I would judge someone who did tbh

Fine for you to choose not to but absolutely disgusting for you to judge another parent making a different choice.

mirrorballer · 20/06/2022 18:32

@Decisionstomakenow only you can decide if this trip is something you are happy with.

Please go if you want to and enjoy yourself. Your baby has two parents and they will be absolutely fine.

Equally if you really don't feel happy to do it then don't go or maybe book an earlier flight home?

Either way, please do not be swayed by people judging you either way, this has to be your decision.

SomePosters · 20/06/2022 18:36

It will be great for their relationship with their other parent and they will appreciate you all the more once you’re back

I think it’s really healthy for your kids to see you having a bit of a life outside of them

berksandbeyond · 20/06/2022 18:38

@mirrorballer that's fine 🤷🏼‍♀️ Judging is human nature, people do it on here every single day. I would think it's sad that a parent left their baby for a weeks holiday!

FourTeaFallOut · 20/06/2022 18:39

I think it’s really healthy for your kids to see you having a bit of a life outside of them

Oh now, come on. I know t

SomePosters · 20/06/2022 18:40

User3568975431146 · 20/06/2022 17:55

I'm 20 plus years and not a night away from them by me going away without them!

They've been away with friends etc which is fine, but it's been vital for me for them to know that they're the most important people/things in my life.

They're amazing adults who thankfully are all happy and doing well but they know that I'm here if they ever need me.

Show quote history

I’ve had lots of nights away from my mother and I still know this as does my daughter who just spent a week at my mums so I could go to a festival

FourTeaFallOut · 20/06/2022 18:40

This in MN, but that kind of cognitive reasoning is beyond any baby.

SorryForTheRant · 20/06/2022 18:41

Just back from 4 nights away from 5 month old. They were by choice, but I've had to go for one or two nights a couple of times for work so I had had a trial run, which I do think is a good idea btw if you haven't left her before!

Probably more like 60/40 childcare here though if that makes a difference, and I feel in a way it might actually be easier when they are that bit smaller because they are less aware?

Ignore anyone judging you if you choose to go, they will be the first ones to be outraged if you criticised an aspect of their parenting.

Favouritefruits · 20/06/2022 18:43

Everyone is different, I couldn’t bear to be away from my children for a week but my SIL went on holiday when her baby was 4months old, she doesn’t Love him any less than I do my children it’s just different parenting.

SomePosters · 20/06/2022 18:43

I’m not saying the baby will be aware of this incident

Im saying her baby will benefit from a closer bond with its other care giver and that developing a life outside of your children will eventually mean they see you as a whole human and not just an red provider.
parenting is along gane made of lots of these decisions that have a cumulative impact

SomePosters · 20/06/2022 18:43

a need provider