Would you go on holiday without your baby?

[Decisionstomakenow]

I have the opportunity to go away child free for a week away in the sun. Partner will look after our 8 month old. However, I’m struggling to jump at the chance of going away, as much as I want to. A week is a long time for mother and baby to be apart in my opinion. I do 80% of the caring for her so it’s safe to say we’re quite attached to one another.

Tell me your experiences both good and bad, any regrets etc? Thanks

Wow how depressing to never do anything alone ever again !

honestly !! Op it’s fine to have a separate life sometimes to your husband and your baby !

you can do stuff together too- it’s not one or the other

Quite!

On the breastfeeding note.. I also breastfeed but baby takes a pumped bottle and was fine whilst I was away with that...I pumped every 4 hours on holiday and my supply was fine when I got back and she latched straight away. Breastfeeding doesn't always mean you can't have a holiday! But do appreciate that not all babies will take a bottle.

Absolutely not. I would struggle to leave my 20 month old for a weekend.

That's me though. You do what feels right to you without fear of judgment.

I have left my kids for 3, maximum 4 nights before. At least once a year, in fact.

First time was 2 nights away when DD11 was just over a year old.

DH and I make a point of getting a break away without the family (he plays golf, I go on city breaks with friends)

IMO it makes us better parents. Recharges the batteries, replenishes the patience levels. Getting a break is self care, and does your kids no harm.

Are the two options "go on holiday and leave your kid(s) for a week" or "never do anything fun or for yourself ever again and die miserable"? I think there's probably somewhere in between right? 🤣

Do it OP. I left DS with his dad although my mum pitched in too.

So glad I took the opportunity. There's life outside of been a mother. Start as you meant to go with your DH! Men have to learn

So how many nights are a parent allowed away from their kids before your judgemental pants start creeping up your arse?

Yes it's fine in so far as it's practical with BF etc. Some on here indicated they'd 'judge' another mother for doing so? Wow.
I went away skiing for a long weekend when DD was 5 months old. She was fine with my DP for 3 days. He took the Friday off work and they had a lovely weekend. She was in a good mood when I returned on Sunday evening and I had my batteries recharged.

I think it depends on your partner and the BF situation

The martyrdom of this thread 🙄I assume a lot of the posters here would also moan about being burnt out and their partner not pulling their weight at home. You can spend time away, even fun time like holidays, away from your children. You don’t have to spend every waking moment with your kids and you can actually look forward to a break.

I do 80% of the care for my 7mo DD because I’m on maternity leave but she’s capable of spending time with her dad. She’s spent most of the weekend with him as we’ve had covid, DH was ill at the beginning of the week and I was worse over the weekend so he’s done 90% of the care over the weekend and everyone is fine. I think at the moment my maximum would be about 5 days away from her and with a distance of no more than 4 hours but preferably 2. I’d also probably check in a bit too frequently. Not because I doubt DH’s capabilities but because I would miss her and wouldn’t want to be too far just in case, I’m naturally quite cautious so that will factor into my comfort level. Your just in case boundaries might be a bit different but that’s ok. Having time away from your child doesn’t make you a bad mum, it’s just working out your personal limit (and your personal limit might change with the circumstances at the time).

Yes, and I have done, but not for a whole week, I went for 3 night

Absolutely I would, I would never have had a baby with someone who wasn't as capable at parenting as I am. Of course a Dad should be able to look after their own DC. And what about the other way round? I frequently went away without DH to visit my DPs who live near the sea, should he have discouraged me from going? Should we only have gone 'as a family'?
My mantra was always 'how would DS cope if I died?'. I never wanted him to be over dependent on me ... fortunately he is now 21 and DH and I are still here !

It's not martyrdom to not want to be away from your baby/small child. I could leave mine with his dad but I would miss him horribly and wouldn't enjoy it.

I might....I also have an 8 month old and I work 13 hour shifts twice a week so although we're in the same house at night I can occasionally go 2 days without seeing my baby. He doesn't seem to miss me when that happens to be honest! My husband works from home. I see us as being equal parents, both very involved in his care.

The OP's situation is a bit different, I really think it's individual to each family and wouldn't judge anyone for making the choice.

I’m not talking about those that don’t want to because of their own personal comfort levels. As I said in my post, everyone’s personal limit is going to be different. Nor am I talking about those who do not have the opportunity to do so. I’m talking about those who openly admit they would judge a mum for leaving their child with their dad for a week. Those that have said they won’t judge and then quoted posters who have left baby with their dads and say it’s not about handling it as any stranger on the street could handle it, implying that the dad is no better than a stranger on the street. The posters who have said they had children to spend time with them, with a clear implication that if you need a break you shouldn’t have children. Those that are implying the baby is going to have some crisis in later life because they were left with their dad for a week.

My DH and I went abroad for a week when our daughter was 4 months old. Left her with my mum who was extremely capable. She was bottle fed and sleeping through the night. We had a fantastic time, she was very well cared for and lots of cuddles on return. Did it again a year later when she was 18 months old and was also absolutely fine. Some of my friends were aghast, others envious! I agree about the ridiculous martyrdom on this thread.

For me personally it would have been too soon. I went away for 3 nights when he was about 18 months and that was fine, and have been away a couple of times since, but always in the UK. Am planning a short break abroad next summer when he'll be 4.

Nothing to do with not trusting my partner, just what I'm comfortable with. No point going if I'm going to worry or miss him and have that spoil the trip

No I could never do it. Babies want their mummies imo.

Ds is nearly 4 and the only night we've ever had away from him is when I was giving birth to his sister.

Jesus i didnt know when you became a mum that meant you couldnt have a life for yourself without being judged by other perfect mums. Go and enjoy your week...the baby will be fine.

I had my eldest as a teenager. Didn’t go on any girl’s trips or as a couple though we could have. Several children later & still we haven’t gone away and left them. That could be considered martyrdom because it’s safe to say we missed out & we were so young but then we were parents so tough cookie.

It does puzzle me that people expect life to carry on as per once they have children. It just doesn’t & the time for freedom is before parenthood.

You can leave your children for as long as you like if that’s what you want to do & they are safe but You’re asking for opinions & mine is that it’s too soon.

My baby is 14m and I can't even face a night away from her at the moment

I can't relate to this. I left my 10month old with his dad for a few nights to go skiing. It was bliss to have a break. I couldn't imagine having a child with someone who couldn't take care of them.

I left mine from six months for several days at a time - on business not holiday. I only had two months maternity leave (I was overseas) so DD knew her nursery person as well as she knew me. Me ex had left and wasn't involved either financially or emotionally so it wasn't a choice. DD is 24 and very sociable, and we are very close. Also I trusted her caregiver completely.

Mine is 2 and I still wouldn’t leave him for more than a night, which I have yet to do.

Jeeezo its like a competition here. You're allowed to love your child and go away it's not either or

If you think a week is too long maybe do 5 days? Either way don't feel guilty and enjoy yourself xx