Mum guilt

[laura_e23]

Hi

Just wondered if anyone else felt mum guilt for choosing not to breastfeed and if the mum guilt went away.

I'm a FTM whose baby is 8 days old. He was born at 37+5 at 5lb 7oz so he's tiny.

Me and my partner decided not to breastfeed together as we didn't think it was the right decision for us. Today I had feelings of guilt that overwhelmed me that I hadn't made the right decision. My partner is so supportive of me.

Just wondered if anyone else had felt like this and if you had small babies who had been alright just on formula.

Thank you

I breastfed my first DC then decided not to with my second and there is no difference in either of them. I had moments of panicky guilt but I’d remind myself why I decided not to and I don’t regret it at all looking back

I didn't have a small baby but didn't breastfeed for a number of reasons and I'll be honest, still feel a bit guilty/sad/disappointed in not feeding DS. However in reality, he's 6 now and it REALLY doesn't matter, no one has asked me about feeding since he was about 6 months old. He was a happy, healthy baby and he's a happy, healthy six year old.

I know it feels huge when they're so small and it's all so consuming but in the long run please don't beat yourself up about it, it's really not worth it. It's a tiny part of being a parent and not that important.

I didn’t have enough milk and my kids were NICU babies so didn’t latch properly and had tongue ties. I expressed for a bit for various times with each dc but they were predominantly formula fed and they’re absolutely fine.

Oh and two of mine were tiny OP - 2lb4 and 1lb9oz! Please don’t feel guilty

I never BF and I never did feel guilty. I did what was best for me and dd. And she wasn't underweight, I just had no desire to BF. She's now a healthy, well adjusted adult who has only been sick a few times in her life.

You're allowed to change your mind. Making decisions about parenting before you have the baby in front of you is pointless - if this choice doesn't feel right now, and you feel guilty and unhappy about it, it's probably not too late to start breastfeeding. Speak to your midwife.

I formula fed all of mine, I tried to BF the eldest but I didn't like it so I stopped. I'm autistic and could not cope with the sensory part of BF. I felt no guilt though, please don't beat yourself up about feeding your baby. Millions of babies have been FF without issue.

I’m sure your babies will be alright just on formula! But also depending on what your reasons were for not breastfeeding, it’s ok if you’ve changed your mind. It might just be all the hormones / baby blues which will pass, or have your reasons for your choice changed since baby came?