ds 5yrs is terrified and crying because we are

[brimfull]

leaving him with a babysitter at 6pm

she is well know to him
a friend of dd's
bloody hell ,he's making me feel guilty for leaving him to go to a school event ffs!

tell me I'm not the cruelest mummy in the world.

I know and trust babysitter ..it's not about her.

they really know how to make you feel guilty don't they?
Bribe him?

He's doing it to make you feel bad. And, fair play to him, it seems to be working! He'll most probably have an absolute ball when you're gone and be most miffed in you come home too early. No you're not the most cruel mummy in the world!

5 seconds after you've gone he'll be having fun. Don't worry.

I'm sure you know this already

Have you asked him why he doesn't want you to go out tonight? Maybe he is feeling anxious or upset and just wants to be near you. Could you take him with you or just one of you go?

no we both have to be there for dd.

He says he doesn't want to be apart from us.

Have bought his fav sweets as a bribe.

So I hope he'll be fine when we go.

he wants to be in bed when she comes

I remember my ds1 doing this to us. He was a bit younger, maybe 3.5yrs. He carried on blue murder, sobbing, snot running down face, clinging to our legs etc. All of a sudden he stopped, looked at us and said 'It's ok, I've finished now, you can go out if you want.' So we did.

Little sod was happily playing "pop to the shops" with the babysitter when we got home.
Said it was really fun ....wee bugger