Have I neglected my 3yo?

[Alicewither]

My DS 3.5 is short. I’m short (5ft) and his bad is 5’9, both families average height. For example, my mum is 5ft 1 but my sister is 5ft 10 so it balances itself out.

DS has never eaten much, I don’t think he’s actually ever ate a whole meal. For example, today he had
Quarter slice of butter on toast
Whole large apple
2 marmite and butter crackers
2 mini potato waffles
1 mini pot of custard
1 twister ice lolly
2 jammy dodgers

obviously this meal list sounds ridiculous and only sugary foods, I’m not stupid. He was offered other things at every meal and this was all he ate. For example, at lunch he had cheese wrap, carrot sticks, cucumber, yoghurt and potato waffles on his plate. All he ate was the waffles, which I’m extremely grateful for as at least it’s something savoury. His pudding was the ice lolly and he asked for more so he had some custard. Didn’t eat his dinner but sat at the table. Anything he eats is a win, and he needs to put on weight so fatty foods are good right now. I’m not concerned about his eating, if he was hungry he would tell me.

He also sleeps 7-8 hours at night, no nap. But so full of energy 24/7. Always been this way.

anyway, the thing I’m concerned about is his size. He’s 27lbs and 86cm, off the chart for his age. Not even the 0.4th centile for height. He was 8lbs 8oz when he was born. 12-18 months trousers, 2-3 for tops and jackets.

Do I take him to the doctors? Am I overreacting? Have I been neglectful to not worry about this?

Are you actually serious right now? Diagnosing a child? This isn’t about the ops feelings, her child is failing to thrive and hasn’t pretty much grown in two years. They need to see a doctor. As said it could be something is wrong or it could be the child isn’t getting the nutrients they need to grow, or both. The child stopped growing after breastfeeding stopped and medical professionals stopped seeing him.

this isn’t about making the op feel good, it’s about urging her to get her child to a doctor quickly. No one should be diagnosing. It’s dangerous.

Firstly it’s not failure to thrive, it’s faltering growth. Secondly, It’s not diagnosing a child of course you can’t do that off a sodding Internet forum, rather it might not be as linear as the overwhelming chorus of ‘his diet is so bad OP, make him eat more and he’ll grow’. Thirdly, as I’ve said It’s Important OP, takes further action and the advice of professionals, she needs a dietitian and an endocrinologist as well as some blood tests to check for deficiencies. If you’d have read my comments, you’d have seen that’s what I’ve implored OP to do rather than succumb to the pressure of the thread and smoky various strategies suggested by PP to sneak nutrients into him. Fourthly, it is Important to know when his growth tailed off because it will help the professionals get to the bottom of whatever is the problem and help the child achieve his genetic potential height which is what’s important. Fifthly) I was correcting the assertion that all growth is nutrition related, it’s not… especially if it’s tailed off out of the blue

@Bluffysummers Hi, you seem to be very knowledgeable :). Thanks for your comments on this thread so far.

Op, I'm in a similar situation to you although i
am concerned about weight and height
My daughter turned 3 in April, she is 0.12percentile for height and 0.54 for weight.

This has been an ongoing concern for me and we've seen various paediatricians throughout her life so far and she's also under other care providers.

Someone on her mentioned Growth Hormone Deficiency to me and so I am now going to get her referred to an Endocrinologist, but I have to see the GP with her first so they can double check her height and weight.

She was born 6lbs 2oz, 38weeks, normal pregnancy. Im short 5ft2 and her dad is 5ft 7.5. But she dropped from 9th centile, to 8th, 7th, 6th etc etc and was on 2nd for a long time until August last year when she slowly started dropping down to where she is now.

She never loses weight unless she's sick, she always gains- it's just like 100g every 3 months!

Her diet is also not great, she will not eat fruit at all, I think this is because when we were weaning her the Dr's said to offer higher calorie foods, and when she did eat fruit she got a rash sometimes (like from strawberries) and they advised to not offer for a couple of months, and she now refuses even though I offer and I've done lots of things to encourage her to try it without any pressure.

Anyway! I'm following this thread with interest, thanks OP, I hope everything is ok.

I’ve just been through it @Elmo311 , so hugs because I know how difficult it is. Just wanted to say though I doubt very much that lack of fruit has caused your DD to fall down the growth chart.

if anyone who has growth concerns is on social media, i highly recommend joining the child growth foundation group, it’s a really supportive community:)

Thanks for your reply, haha, I know the lack of fruit won't be the issue :) I think I just went off on a tangent regarding what she eats (or doesn't eat!)

I'm already on some Facebook groups :)
And have posted. Seems like a waiting game tbh as even if we are under the care of an Endo they won't do anything until she's 4. Seems like a waste of time when she's always been so tiny!

Hi, my daughter is definitely below the 25th for height but I will have to measure her again to check exactly where. The GP never measure her height only her weight which is now around the 9th centile. As I say she's been seen by two different GPs and actually paper-reviewed by a third, and also seen a HV. And none of them will do anything at all. I've been flatly told at my third GP contact recently that they are not concerned and will not take any action and my only options are private paed (which we are going to pursue) or ask the HV again and see if they will do something. Really upset and stressed about it, I've been trying to get support for her since January. I feel so guilty that I'm failing her, but I keep going and they won't do anything! I was told last Wednesday that my HV would call me about it and they haven't. Private referral letter was meant to be ready on Monday and the GP hasn't even done one, all I've got is a print out of the consultation where they've added a line at the end saying 'please can patient be reviewed by paed at private hospital as mum remains concerned', I will email it to the hospital but doubt they will accept that with no cover letter from the practice. I've been so happy with my GP practice until this issue to the point where I am considering registering her somewhere else.

To make everything even more ludicrous my DH is actually a physician associate who works in primary care and previously worked in paediatrics. If we can't get anyone to take us seriously what hope is there for anyone else? It's awful. So prepare for an uphill battle OP!

Oh and my DD is about to turn 4.

I haven’t read the whole thread but- would you consider one of the formulas aimed at 2 to 3 year olds? They’re vitamin enriched. My poor eater loved them. I’d have preferred her to eat her nutrients - but it was reassuring when she was having a non eating day that she’d had something!

@SecondhandTable so I worked it out and your mph for daughter at final adult height is 171cm so your range is 162.5-179.5, so the lower end is actually pretty close to the 50th centile.

to get your GP to take you seriously you need to get the NICE guidelines for faltering growth and HGH and demand a referral to endo. Your child is below your MPH range. It’s maddening how frequently height is dismissed as just a vanity thing. Don’t even get me started on how sexist and dismissive maternal anxiety is

This will be a generalization but all the short, small people that I know don’t ever eat much, especially when they were children. The ones that are adults now are healthy but you should take him to the GP just in case of course.

No @Blackmagicqueen not my first - I'm not an idiot. The amount OP's child eats is not ok whether it's someone's first or fifth.

Update
I found his red book, his weight is all good and on track, head circumference etc good
his height however…. There’s absolutely no information in the red book. The chart is there but nothing on it, nothing written down. Looked on all the info I was given after he was born and the length bit is empty. Frustrating.

i measured his height accurately today and not just an estimate, and he’s 86cm. Way below the 0.4th centile

Definitely get him checked out OP. My 3yr old is 84cm and 0.12 percentile for height- looking to get a referral to an Endocrinologist. No harm in getting him looked at.

Start now proper measurement and agsin in three months. If no growth get referred.

Op take him to the GP. Maybe he's fine but maybe there's some underlying reason. My daughter also Fell from the 75th centile very quickly and is now below the second. She's 5 though. The GP did thorough bloods checking iron, vitamin b12 and a lot of other stuff I don't remember. We also tested for coeliac. Everything turned out to be fine. She's just a very poor eater.

I can relate. On some days I wish she'd at least love chocolates, cakes or ice cream because then at least I'd get some calories into her but she isn't keen on them either. Loves her vegetables though. Other people are always impressed how she first eats all her cucumber sticks and carrots at birthday parties but they don't realise how many cucumber sticks you need to eat to get enough calories into you.

I assume you already do this but one way of increasing the calories is by adding fat. I pour olive oil or butter on everything she eats. I also use extremely high fat yogurt (the collective is good..anything that has more than 5% fat) and if your son likes milk then go for jersey milk as it has more fat than full fat blue milk.

Have you tried placing him in front of the tv to eat or soke other distraction? I know it's not recommended (ahd I absolutely hate doing it) but it often helps. It depends how desperate you are.

I could be wrong but based on my experience weight drives height at this age though most people will tell you he's fine as long as his weight and height are comparable. So if your son is not gaining sufficient weight I think it might affect his height as well.

Good luck. It's a nightmare but definitely try and get help from your GP.

Op they don't measure length till about 6 months. Apparently it is because they don't want to forcefully straighten out the baby's legs (which they'd have to do to measure the length accurately). So you wouldn't find his length at birth in his red book.

Also op, you could try something like pediasure, which is a fortified milk shake kind of thing. It's mostly sugar I think and my GP didn't recommend them but DD has them for breakfast as she just can't get anything else down in the morning.

Asked to get this deleted as somehow came up in this thread when I was creating a new one

I would ask GP to test for coeliac and thyroid issues, they can both be autoimmune and often run in families. Diabetes type 1 is another linked illness.

Oh love. You have not neglected him. I have a second percentile boy and eats less than what yours eats. His favourite foods are lemons and cucumber. No am not kidding. We've been to paeds with no resolution. He is normally high energy although not lately (he is suddenly very very low energy so we are back to investigations). It is hard when you have non-eaters. I would say let him have milk if that's all he'll eat. In your shoes, it's not so much eating little or being small. It's that he has gone from 75 percentile to less than one. So yes have it investigated but dont worry too much if he is otherwise healthy and happy. And certainly don't blame yourself

@girlmom21 Exactly but comparing op's child to a much younger child wasn't helpful. Op has come on here for advice as knows it isn't enough.