Back at work 23 months between maternity leaves

[salharg]

I was petrified to tell my boss and in my defence he was not impressed at all. I went back when my DD1 was 6 months old as I knew I wanted 2 DC fairly close
I feel so upset as I thought I had been back a normal
amount of time

That's plenty of time between maternity leaves

Almost 2 years seems a reasonable length of time to me. Why are you worried? What has he said?

I was back 6 months between mine. I wouldn’t worry about it you’re entitled

I got pregnant on mat leave so ended up with nearly 2.5 years off in one go. Then was back for 12 months then off for another 14m. Then was done

I know quite a few people who are pregnant with no 2 by the time they go back after maternity when no 1 is a year old.

Is it 23 months from start of first mat leave to start of 2nd (ie only back and not pregnant for 8 months) or 23 months back in work before you go off again? To be honest, not sure why I'm asking as it makes no difference. You're entitled to however many kids you want with whatever gap... though I did feel a bit bad for my friend's employer - she is signed off for full pregnancy with hyperemesis and was pregnant when she 'went back' twice, meaning she hardly worked at all for over 5 years!

Very outing but I started my job while pregnant. Told them on my second week. Did just under 6 months before I went on Mat leave. Had 13 months off (including holiday days I had to use). I was pregnant on my return, about 4-5 weeks. Worked 8 months before going on mat leave again.

My company was actually really good about it, to my face at least. All my colleagues but 1 never said a negative thing to me and it.

Totally normal gap between Mat leaves. Is your boss always a dick? FWIW I went on Mat leave 9 months after starting my current role. Was then back 9 months before going again. Back 2.6 years then off again. No one batted an eyelid and I remain a valued team member (been there nearly 9 years now).

A two year age gap is absolutely standard, which would mean much less than 23 months between coming back and going off again. You've done nothing wrong here.

It's really not 'outing' it's very common place.

@salharg ignore him. It's quite a long return (if that's what you've worked between M/L ).

Don't let it bother you

Meh, that's nothing. I know loads of women who were pregnant again when they came back off mat leave. I also know people who never made it back into work before going off again.

I had just over a two year age gap between my kids. I think there was a total of 18 months between my maternity leaves.

Probably not something they would admit to, but I think most employers conclude that women of child bearing age will have maternity leave at some point. I also think they conclude that they will go onto have other children after having one. I continue to be asked by managers (in conversation rather than formally) if I'll be having anymore. Despite my youngest being 7.

I had 10 months between mine, and I only took 6 months the first time. Now that most people here take a year I'd say 2 years is average, and some don't even come back in between because their mat leaves are so close together.

What do you mean your boss wasn’t impressed at all?

He said you have only been back 5 minutes when I started back in March 2021 and will be going off end of January 2023

I asked because work in HR. Him making that comment is direct maternity discrimination. He is your employer, not the lord and ruler of your world, he doesn’t get to pass comment like that or try to make you feel bad - it’s illegal. You’ve been back for 15 months, but if you’d been back for 15 days the only thing he should have said is ‘congratulations, let’s get your risk assessment booked in’.

my advice - make a note somewhere of date and time and exact comment made and if you have a union rep, speak with them about it. Sometimes comments like this are unfortunate and come from having no filter, and that’s where I would hope this came from (although I would definitely be spelling out the equality act if this was a manager in my organisation). I would get this logged in writing where you can, HR if you have one - even if it goes no further, just to back yourself up, and then enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. You’ve done nothing wrong.

Yes sorry so time from being back and going off again is 22-23 months

Your boss is really out of order. I’m pregnant with my second and will have 12 months between my first leave ending and my second beginning.

My bosses all said congratulations and have since promoted me to a new role (even knowing I wouldn’t have time to do much before my mat leave starts and they’ll have to get a mat cover in for me)

23 months is quite a long time to be back IMO

@salharg it doesn’t matter how long. He is out of order and completely in the wrong x

I got pregnant on my first maternity leave was back at work for 3 months before going off on my next maternity leave, so 23 months seems a long time to me!

2 years between maternity leaves is not at all remarkable. I’d guess it’s probably quite average.