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Original poster

Not allowed on ward with my 16 year old son before or after op

71 replies

Decoqueen · 29/05/2022 10:24

Hi there.

Son (16) has ankle injury and needs op. Hospital just called and said that they want him in tomorrow, but since he's over 16 neither me nor Dad can stay with him.

Is this the norm now?

Any help please I'd by grateful x

OP posts:
Mouthfulofquiz · 29/05/2022 10:27

That really doesn’t seem fair does it. Is there any way you can call the department he is being admitted to today and ask?

Original poster
Decoqueen · 29/05/2022 10:36

There's no one there as it's Sunday. I really don't like the thought of him being alone just before or just after surgery 😞

OP posts:
Helenloveslee4eva · 29/05/2022 10:40

Adult ward ? Yes , normal I’m afraid.
Round here 16/17 are generally in adult hospital beds - not ideal

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16 year olds Families General parenting
theremustonlybeone · 29/05/2022 10:42

This happened to me and i wasnt actually aware until i turned up with her at the hospital. It was during covid but because she was 16 I wasnt allowed to stay. I had a call the previous week inviting her in for surgery at short notice, She turned 16- 4 days before.She was very distressed but tried to pretend she wasnt. She was a little manic and sobby when I collected her. The issue with me was the lack of preparation mentally for either of us. You will just need to ensure you prepare your DS and be close by when he comes out of recovery

MissMaple82 · 29/05/2022 10:52

That's disgusting! You'd think this nonsense would of stopped by now!

Eightiesfan · 29/05/2022 10:58

I’m not sure, I thought that children had to be 17 before medically they were considered an ‘adult’. Each Trust might have their own rules so I would query this.

Eightiesfan · 29/05/2022 11:01

Just to add, my son was very il last year, and we couldn’t get a referral for him in our county. He was 17, so Paediatrics said he was too old and to refer him to the Adults clinic, guess what, Adults said he was under 18 and to refer him to Paediatrics! In the end we had to travel to the next county to get him seen by a specialist.

theremustonlybeone · 29/05/2022 11:02

Its to do with consent not trust policies. Once someone is 16 or older they can consent to their own treatment hence no need for a parent. (so i found out when I lost the plot)

PetersRabbitt · 29/05/2022 11:03

It’s terrible they are still doing this!! Why has it not stopped yet? Will it still be the case in 2-3 years time or will it revert back to old?

francesfrankenfurter · 29/05/2022 11:18

Does he want you there?

yesterdaytheycame · 29/05/2022 11:35

MissMaple82 · 29/05/2022 10:52

That's disgusting! You'd think this nonsense would of stopped by now!

Things don't stop if people keep complying.

HandScreen · 29/05/2022 11:44

I would think a 16 year old wouldn't want their mum staying over with them!

maudesvagina · 29/05/2022 11:46

My 16 year old was on adult ward for a week recently and a parent was allowed to stay with her. It was seen as a safeguarding issue and she was give. A single room when available. I was happy with that but there was a male bay opposite and anyone could have wandered in so would not have been content to leave her alone

DaleTrimont · 29/05/2022 11:49

Eightiesfan · 29/05/2022 11:01

Just to add, my son was very il last year, and we couldn’t get a referral for him in our county. He was 17, so Paediatrics said he was too old and to refer him to the Adults clinic, guess what, Adults said he was under 18 and to refer him to Paediatrics! In the end we had to travel to the next county to get him seen by a specialist.

I had this problem with my dd.

francesfrankenfurter · 29/05/2022 11:49

He may not want you there.
I was in hospital at this age and said to staff I didn't want my mum there all the time. No idea what they told her. We had a good relationship but I didn't want to be fussed over.
What mothers want and what 16 year olds want are not always the same thing.

Original poster
Decoqueen · 29/05/2022 11:57

His dad or myself just want to be there when he comes out of surgery. My sixteen year old would like one of us there

OP posts:
Princessdebthe1st · 29/05/2022 11:59

No this is NOT ok. The Children’s Act defines a child as anyone 18 or under (or 19 in some specific circumstances). Under that age if a child is to be cared for in an adult environment (which may be appropriate at times depending on the treatment needed) then adjustments must be made that are the best interests of the CHILD. Your son is 16, he is not an adult and even if he is competent to consent to his own treatment this is not the same as saying he doesn’t need a parent with him. I would contact the hospital and ask to speak to the site manager in call. This is usually a senior and experienced nurse who should be aware of these issues and able to help you sort this out.

Princessdebthe1st · 29/05/2022 12:01

Princessdebthe1st · 29/05/2022 11:59

No this is NOT ok. The Children’s Act defines a child as anyone 18 or under (or 19 in some specific circumstances). Under that age if a child is to be cared for in an adult environment (which may be appropriate at times depending on the treatment needed) then adjustments must be made that are the best interests of the CHILD. Your son is 16, he is not an adult and even if he is competent to consent to his own treatment this is not the same as saying he doesn’t need a parent with him. I would contact the hospital and ask to speak to the site manager in call. This is usually a senior and experienced nurse who should be aware of these issues and able to help you sort this out.

Sorry, that should be “under 18” not 18 and under.

francesfrankenfurter · 29/05/2022 12:02

Why have they said you can't be there?

HandScreen · 29/05/2022 12:06

Decoqueen · 29/05/2022 11:57

His dad or myself just want to be there when he comes out of surgery. My sixteen year old would like one of us there

He'll be fine. Give him a ring and then see him at visiting time.

francesfrankenfurter · 29/05/2022 12:15

Your 16 year old is unlikely to know you are there.

newbiename · 29/05/2022 12:18

16 year olds on adult wards at my hospital.
Unless CAMHS then 18.
Is it a day case ?

Threetulips · 29/05/2022 12:27

Back in the 70’s parents could only visit at visiting times.

and we wonder why kids are Molly coddled these days.

He'll be absolutely fine.

Original poster
Decoqueen · 29/05/2022 12:29

Yes, day case

OP posts:
Mommabear20 · 29/05/2022 12:46

He's 16, not 6 fgs! If you're needed after surgery they'll ring you!