Is shouting at your children always a form of abuse?

[blisscake]

This is related to another thread I've been watching. I would like to know what people think. If it is abuse then can anyone honestly say that they have never shouted at their child and therefore that they have never abused their child? When does shouting at your child become "abuse" and when is it just ""bad parenting? Is it ever acceptable to shout at your children?

If they're on a sports field it would be unsupportive not to yell your head off at them ('encouragement and tactics' as DH is yelling at me)

i think its when you lose it that its unacceptable. you do sometimes need to shout but i lose it too often when i'm tired and stressed

not ranting at anyone, just to myself really, but it would seem that anything other than letting your kids run amock these days is considered 'abusive'.

I thought playing sport was a form of abuse these days, all that rough and tumble and competitiveness!

I shout. A lot.

I am aware that it is not exactly a Good Thing but I am Not Perfect (far bloody from it) and I dd knows she is loved.

IMO it is not abuse to shout - but where the 'line' is, I do not know.

Gawd who doesn't lose it from time to time? We're all human and being a mum is extremely stressful. Life doesn't always play fair and we don't always cope.

I think it's how you react after the event personally. I always apologise to my kids after a screaming episode. I explain that I was in the wrong, that I was feeling upset and stressed but that was no excuse for my shouting at them.

I think it's important for your kids to see you as a human being who makes mistakes and takes responsibility for them.

I have been told that making my traffic mad 2 year old wear a wrist link with me is 'abusing his human rights' for example.

good god.....if shouting is a form of abuse then I will have seriously damaged kiddies.

I think it really depends on the way you shout, and also what you shout.

in my house, if you don;t shout, yoou don;t get heard, but then it makes the shouting worse......viscious cycle really!

now shouting and swearing and calling them names......that is something to worry about.

shouting to get them to get a move on, or to tidy their room, or simply to be quiet....nope.....not abuse......NORMAL (I hope)

Someone had a thread a while back about 'why are all kids becoming tearaways and run wild'

this is precisely why!! Since when has shouting at your children been abusive. Dear god Ive heard it all.

I shout too and I think it is what you say and how you say it that defrentiates shouting from abuse imo.

ladyofthecaulis and letting him get run over is ok???? the world has gone mad.

shouting... abuse?? I have to admit to having the odd shouting moment but have never felt of it as abuse.... not ideal peranting but definately not abuse. Normally the result of broken nights sleep and being over tired.
I geuss it coud be viewed as bullying but then i dont think my ds really notices when i shout in anger as we are usually pretty loud in this house anyway.
That said i have noticed lately that he shouts at me when he is cross about something so (unless this is normal for a toddler) maybe he is influenced by my shouting. (really i dont shout loads)

Yes!
I was so shocked I did not have a witty reply, much to my dissapointment. I usually have a witty reply for those who dare make comments when I am out.

My mum shouted at us instead of smacking us - much better IMO and we always listened.
I try not to shout when it isn't needed, after all, I don't want them copying and shouting all the time, or at me. But you would not be human or normal if you didn't let loose the odd shout !
Are there really parents out there who never raise their voices and respond to every naughty and annoying and dangerous etc thing their dc do in the same tone of voice ?
I think not !

Fiesta, have noticed my toddler shouting too.
Usually 'No, Mammy!!' with a scowl on his face and hands on hips....

cauli..... oh god that sounds familiar!

Hey! I gave a good answer there! Read it you thread snobs!

Huh!

In the playground recently, a little boy was pinching other and his mother approched him and said, ever so gently 'It is very naughty to pinch darling'
Needless to say the kid carried on pinching, eventually he pinched DS1 who pinched him back.
Old fishwife here shouts across to him 'OI! DS1 - NO PINCHING!!'
It worked though!

fordfiesta i'm with you there, we often have conversations where I end up shouting:"don't you dare shout at me"!! I realise that shouting doesn't model perfect behaviour but sometimes I just get mad.

you're right rhubarb. i shout, when i'm annoyed i have a demonic voice that sounds awful but is very effective.

Thank you.
Huh!

Agree with those who said shouting is normal unless you are shouting abuse.

There is a profound difference between shouting, "Stop playing with that power cable right now, you could hurt yourself!!!"

And, "You stupid effing goodfornothing useless little S**T"

There is only a problem if you can't tell the difference.