What time does your child go to bed?

[Mysteriousmoon]

And how old?

Struggling hugely with bedtime just now.

When he does drop off ,what time is that normally? What have you tried so far? Do you have a bedtime routine?

Trust me I get it, at her worst DD was still awake at 1 am and back up and running at 5/6. I did lose it there for a while.

It’s seven hours wake windows though which seems an awfully long time to be awake at this age.

I don’t know that anything is normal any more!

It used to be 730 bedtime, sometimes pushing to 8 on a bad night or if late nap (rare) but normally around 730.

Lately 8 o clock is dream.

What was it?

Keep it fast and simple. We do PJs, teeth, story. Every single night. Took months for it to sink in, but it did.

I've been there, it's hideous!

Honestly, try an earlier bedtime.

Try it for a few weeks. Changes don't happen quickly.

A bedtime routine takes time to establish, you need to stick with it, it is unlikely to go well the first few nights.

DD just turned 8 is settling into a new routine now, for that last couple of years, we've taken her upstairs at 6.30, wash, teeth, nightie then quiet play with her till 7.15pm. 15 minutes reading then into bed and lights out.

She's old enough we feel that she can go to bed a bit later and we should just be able to do a quick routine of getting ready for bed, read a bit of a book and leave her to read alone for a bit then lights out. So we've started that this week. She hated it yesterday and was in and out of her room for ages, today has gone a bit better, we're hoping that it will be better still tomorrow until it settles.

You are not failing him. I would try capping a nap first as he might be getting too much daytime sleep? Some kids drop naps really early.
I cuddle my 1.5yr old to sleep and lay her down, gradually she is shifting to wanting to be left (at nap times only though). I am trusting the process. She is asleep between 7:30-8 and wakes at 7-7:30.

Some kids need less sleep than others. DD was down to one 30 min nap at that age. If he's telling you he's not ready for bed at 7pm, then either cut the nap right down, or push bedtime back.

Do you have a blackout blind in his room? Can he see it's still "light" out so it's not bedtime? Did anything change before this started?

What happens at bedtime,what do you normally do?

I think you need to try and claw back the 8pm bedtime. I think a lot of this is boundary testing - refusing bedtime is a really common one. As a PP has said above, short and snappy bedtime routine at 7:45ish and in the cot at 8. What you do around him getting him to sleep is up to you. I didn’t fancy CC so we did stay and support, but none are wrong.

And to echo others. Stick with it. For at least 2-3 weeks. A routine, by nature, can’t just happen overnight.

@Mysteriousmoon

I've just gone through this with 15 month one twins. It's been brutal as one just refused to sleep at all and I'd regularly have to go to work on an hours sleep

My new routine which is working wonders (hope I haven't jinxed that now!)

Start bed time 6pm - 45 mins no longer - apparently there is a golden 45mins to wind a child down enough for them to sleep. After that they wind up again and the cycle has to start again.
At 6pm twins taken upstairs - put in pyjamas and given milk. They can play whilst I'm getting the other sorted. Quiet Story on the Tonie.
In their cots by 645pm
Then it's basically a form of pick up out down / vanishing chair. If one stands up or starts whinging then I say a fuel bedtime and lie them down. Took a couple of nights of 90 mins of this basically sat in dark lying them down but night 5 and it's really working!

Try an earlier bedtime. Sounds weird but they can easily get overtired and it takes even longer for them to get to sleep!

Until 4 weeks ago (when we all caught covid) my 3 year old was out like a light at 7.30 but now merrily runs around until 10PM!!!!! Hyper as anything. So it’s not fun in this house either at the moment.

2.5 goes down between 7 ans 7.30 depending on if she's napped in the day or not. I think at around 17 months she had an earlier nap around 11-1ish and then bed at 6.45 and asleep for 7

At that age he needs between 11 and 14 hours sleep. Perhaps you are just trying to get him to sleep too early.

Thanks. I’m not sure those saying this bedtime is normal are right - it seems very late.

I do need some help, it’s difficult knowing from where.

20 month, bedtime starts at 7, usually falls asleep at 7:45. Awake at 6:15, 90 min nap 12:30-2. Falls asleep by himself at nursery but needs cuddling to sleep at home.

I’ve been lucky that his sleeping pattern has always been regular, but every so often it goes out of the window for a week or so and one of us is stuck in his room until gone 10pm. The worst was at 17 months and it went on for 3 weeks - it was very tough and I thought it would never end. He’s had the odd couple of nights since then but I remember that time being really tough. Sending sympathy x

well it depends on all sorts of factors.
my older 2 were asleep by 7 at that age, but they also barely napped. 40 mins maximum, and that was only if we happened to be in the car.
my youngest has never been in bed before 8 (and usually doesn’t settle until 9), but he continued napping for much longer. They’re also just different children 🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe it’s just a phase then @Littlegoth ? I keep worrying it’s me who’s a crap mum

DD is just over 3 and bedtime can be any time between 6.30 and 8 depending on what we've done, how organised we are, if it's a nursery day, etc. If we have something special on then she can stay up till later as a one-off.

After evening meal ,TV off ,toys away and basically give as little stimulation as possible…just switch off all interesting activities. Bath ,PJs Milk whisper a story and keep everything completely tranquil / boring ….after a few nights he will get the message. Be absolutely anal with that routine and hopefully that will help .

2 yo and bedtime is anywhere between 7 and 8, occasionally 8.30 if I'm in late from work cos she won't let DH put her to bed atm.

OP my 22m is in similar phase and so difficult. Like you I have stuff I want to do at nights, want a few hours to myself without having to stay up until midnight!

I have a 3yo who has always slept well and is rarely awake after 7pm. Youngest on the other hand is only asleep at that time if we've had a full on day and his nap was in the morning. A nap ending after 1pm always delays bedtime for us.

Things that help, making sure nappy not wet, sometimes he drops off after a change even if it wasn't that bad. Sleepy paws on YouTube/Spotify sometimes works. Cuddles and twinkle twinkle on Spotify.

You have my sympathy and hope improves soon. I pin all my hope on the phase shifting soon!

@Mysteriousmoon you feel like a crap mum because you are tired and need some relaxing evening time!

I’m sure it’s a phase. Hang in there x