Just an experience I'd like to share.

[Cappuccino17]

Once i was abroad with my husband and 18 month old daughter. Our 1st holiday away. We had booked for 10 days and she was teething practically all the way from day 1. She'd cry non stop I literally felt like crying too as I'd wanted a break and didn't expect this to be a stressful holiday. I gave her calpol which settled her and so she could actually enjoy the holiday too. We did a lot with her day in day out the whole holiday was centred around her. On day 8 we booked a restaurant for a romantic meal. We dressed up and took our daughter with us. We literally just wanted 1 peaceful meal between us with a chat. So we took the ipad along. We made sure she ate first. When our food arrived we put the ipad on and let her watch rhymes. But we couldn't help but notice many families around us staring in disgrace and whispering. They were from other parts of the world but I felt very uncomfortable. 1 lady in particular was glaring and shaking her head at us. When I say staring i mean very obvious staring from many people. I felt so uncomfortable. Like I couldn't relax. When we finished and switched off the ipad which my daughter was so content watching. They stopped staring but loved my daughter and smiled. So it was kind of a happy ending. Still shocks me till today lol.

I'm assuming you were in Europe? They have a very different attitude to children than in the UK, they include them as part of the family at meals out rather than trying to keep them quiet and distracted. So you taking the iPad off your daughter and engaging with her during the meal would have met with their approval.

Is this a reverse? Did you make other diners listen to your child’s rhymes on the iPad?

Did you have the sound on on the ipad?

did the sound annoy other guests?
it's really antisocial to put an iPad on in such an environment

It's antisocial to have an ipad at a restaurant if other people can hear it. There is no doubt people, we're judging you and your husband for using it as a babysitter. It's just something that happened to you. You made a choice that was best for you in that moment and other people saw a snapshot of your like and judged you negatively for it. It doesn't matter. They don't know you or the full story.

Of course it matters. As you said, it’s really antisocial.

Of course it matters. As you said, it’s really antisocial. I don't think it does matter. She was judged some time ago and it's over now. She can't do anything about it now, the time for either defending herself and saying 'lady, stop rolling your eyes and shaking your head at me' or for putting the ipad away has long passed.

The ipad was on low and the music in the restaurant was very loud. I just found people to be very narrow minded. I'm not the type to cause a scene or spoil an evening so never said anything and tried hard to ignore the glares. I was in North Africa in Egypt the guests looked European though maybe German as i heard some German convo from a family. The Egyptians didn't throw a second glance at us and were minding thier own business.

Do people never ever do this when out? Just for a break? We did it once on our full holiday so for us we didn't even feel bad in the least as we know how much attention my daughter gets from us in the bigger picture.

18m is young for screens though, the recommendation is not before 2,so maybe they were surprised by that? I think it's a cultural thing, in the UK we're very happy to do this but in other places they expect more from kids and integrate them more into family experiences.

Do people never ever do this when out?

Personally, never. On this occasion, playing an iPad during a restaurant meal is really unfair on other people dining. It's different to a quick lunch in a cafe, for example.

You should either have ensured your DD was ok to last the meal, or got a babysitter & gone out separately, or chosen a different venue. What you have described is not a romantic meal.

People being a bit sanctimonious on here. What you did was fine OP. It’s far ruder to stare and openly judge people for something minor you disagree with then to occasionally distract a young child with an iPad.

How long ago was this?

What’s wrong with a book or small toy? Why does it have to be a screen for a baby?

You don't really get a romantic meal and time to yourselves with a baby on holiday. And no I wouldn't have given the iPad to an 18 month old.

You don’t play noise in a restaurant (even low). The noise competes with the restaurant music and is extremely annoying for diners. No wonder you were stared at

It's really not OK to have a device playing kids songs out loud in a restaurant when other people are trying to enjoy a meal!

Children's TV programme noise on, even low, is a big no no. I wouldn't have even noticed your child, but the noise on would've annoyed me.

Personally, I wouldn't have done it and if I was one of the other diners then yes, I'd have probably judged you. It's children who grow up being distracted in public spaces that fail to learn appropriate manners in social settings and end up being disruptive/unruly. If your DD was ill/teething then maybe it would have been better to have stayed at your accommodation and eaten in private.

Oh wow I'm actually shocked that people never do this lol oh well ?
To the message about a small toy or a book it would have probably caused more of a scene as it wouldn't have kept my daughter entertained long enough unless we brought a full toy box from home on our holiday lol she would've chucked it at a customer in the restaurant telling us she's bored of it give me something else now. Sitting down is boring for kids at restaurants. But yep still don't regret it as we got some quality time for 40 minutes and my daughter was smiling and laughing at the rhymes.

I'd feel very uneasy leaving my child with a babysitter abroad. I'd probably worry the entire meal hoping she's okay. I always keep my kids close especially when abroad.
We didn't want to sit in out hotel room as we are away and wanted an experience. We had a romantic moment which was lovely.

You're shocked that other people don't play nursery rhymes out loud at restaurants?

It was perhaps because two adults were sat there talking and it would have looked like you have shoved a screen infront of your child for your own benefit so that she wouldn't bother you I suppose (which it was I guess?)
I don't like screens in restaurants whether it's an adult or child

If your daughter could hear the ipad so could other diners, the ones who had also paid for a nice evening meal and wanted to enjoy it without a force fed side order of childish rhymes. I'd wouldn't have looked at you judgingly but I would have asked for restaurant staff to request you turn off the volume or move me to a different table. You want a peaceful meal, well so does everyone else and listening to your child's ipad is not peaceful.

It’s really bad manners and unacceptable to have sound coming out any device in public - in a restaurant, shop or on transport.