Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

People say I'm spoiling my 10 week old

90 replies

Nicola2182 · 10/05/2022 20:54

Am I spoiling my 10 week old baby?

I'm struggling at the minute because she will not be put down to nap, I struggle to get her to sleep in the first place and then when I attempt to put her in her Moses basket she wakes straight up. So I just hold her to sleep.
People say I'm spoiling her and that I should be putting her down as she will never learn to self sooth,

It's so difficult because if she doesn't nap on me she doesn't nap and then gets over tired and SCREAMS

Help! Any advice?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
RosaBaby2 · 14/05/2022 09:56

People are dicks!!

StopStartStop · 14/05/2022 17:55

elenacampana · 14/05/2022 09:49

Our lifestyle isn’t comparable to that of a chimpanzee, chimpanzees live in the wild surrounded by predators that would have off with a tiny newborn. The cot isn’t the dangerous wild 🤣

Babies arrive pre-programmed for the life they would have led in more basic times. Those lions are real. Watch a newborn huddle into mother at the sound of rustling paper, a dog barking, planes roaring overhead.

Original poster
Nicola2182 · 14/05/2022 22:46

MrsPatrickDempsey · 13/05/2022 18:49

Tell anyone who tells you this to read 'why love matters' by Sue Gerhardt
That will learn them!!

Thank you I'll look at this book :)

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

0-3 months old Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families
Original poster
Nicola2182 · 14/05/2022 22:47

MrsB902 · 13/05/2022 18:13

Please don’t listen to people who tell you that you will spoil your baby - this is impossible. By being responsive to her needs what you are doing is helping her to form a secure attachment and supporting her emotional development.

My little boy is a few weeks older than your LO and I have only just got to the stage this week where I can put him down while he is asleep if I have anything that desperately needs doing around the house. I cuddle him to sleep, wait 15-20mins then slowly lower him down into a maternity V pillow so he feels like he is still being hugged! Maybe this is something you could try if you are wanting to put her down? If you are happy for her to contact nap then I say enjoy it and make the most while it lasts ☺️

Thank you that's a good idea re the maternity pillow! X

OP posts:
Original poster
Nicola2182 · 14/05/2022 22:48

Sbena · 14/05/2022 09:20

Don't stress about getting her to sleep "properly" right now. At 10 weeks she still thinks she's part of you!

Something I wish I had known beforehand is that babies create sleep associations between 4-6 months. That's the time you want to really encourage sleeping in the cot. Until then just do what she needs to get through the 4th trimester. When she's a bit bigger she'll learn to sleep in her bed

Thank you, that makes sense.. I'll just enjoy all of the cuddles for now 🥰

OP posts:
Original poster
Nicola2182 · 14/05/2022 22:49

Pinkywoo · 13/05/2022 18:52

DS1 was exactly like this, I swear he spent his first six months in the sling, I also got the stupid "your spoiling him, he'll never settle by himself, blah blah blah". He's now two and a half and it takes two minutes to put him to bed, he lies down, goes straight to sleep and only wakes in the night if he's ill. They're talking bollocks, and don't let them make you doubt yourself. I currently have DS2 (also 10 weeks!) asleep on my lap! Grin

Haha aw bless him! That's amazing.
Enjoy your time with your second ☺️

OP posts:
Original poster
Nicola2182 · 14/05/2022 22:50

RosaBaby2 · 14/05/2022 09:56

People are dicks!!

😂😂 I know right! If only I could tell my MIL she was a dick haha

OP posts:
RosyappleA · 14/05/2022 22:57

Mine was the same and most commonly this is due to colic/reflux! She would only ever sleep on her stomach which I later found after trying everything but I was so scared of this due to increased risk of SIDS so i had to eventually put pillows either side of me and keep her on my stomach just to get two hours of sleep with her on my stomach. IMO you aren’t spoiling her and babies don’t cry for no reason. Often i would be convinced by everyone then try to leave her then I would pick her up and big burrrrrrp would follow and shed be so relieved and I would feel so guilty and never do it again. She wasn’t crying for me but due to discomfort. You do what you think is best your instincts, trust them.

ChuckMater · 14/05/2022 23:12

You can't spoil a baby. Enjoy the cuddles and rest while she naps on you. You are her safe place.

MissMaple82 · 14/05/2022 23:36

Ignore the fools. You can't spoil a new born baby!

Strawberrydelight55 · 15/05/2022 08:17

You will look back on these days and think I did just fine..believe me they eventually don't want to be held all the time..enjoy it. I used to love holding mine.

I'm not being funny but cots and prams are man made to make life easier. Mothers very much would have held their babies!! It's such a ridiculous thing to say.

I remember being lectured myself by my own mum lol.

tinx · 15/05/2022 20:47

@Nicola2182

I was told by a midwife/health visitor that you CAN’T spoil a baby with holding, rocking etc..

I co slept with both of mine now 16 & 10 I had them next to me from birth until they were 2 ish. When they transitioned into their own beds I had no problems at all

do what you feel is right, looking back now I wish I had spent less time worrying about sticking to the plan of sleeping times etc because it’s such a short Amount of time that they are small

enjoy your little one and just don’t stress :)

Original poster
Nicola2182 · 15/05/2022 20:50

tinx · 15/05/2022 20:47

@Nicola2182

I was told by a midwife/health visitor that you CAN’T spoil a baby with holding, rocking etc..

I co slept with both of mine now 16 & 10 I had them next to me from birth until they were 2 ish. When they transitioned into their own beds I had no problems at all

do what you feel is right, looking back now I wish I had spent less time worrying about sticking to the plan of sleeping times etc because it’s such a short Amount of time that they are small

enjoy your little one and just don’t stress :)

Thank you - that's another thing that i wouldn't dare tell any of my family about because we do co sleep some of the night, when she wakes for a feed I keep her in bed for the rest of the night as she settles a lot better! They think it's so dangerous to co sleep but it feels like the most natural thing to me. I love that I can talk to people who do and think the same as me because I feel so different amongst my family and friends!

OP posts:
tinx · 15/05/2022 21:02

@Nicola2182

If you are careful and not piling on blankets around your baby or going to bed drunk out of your head, or letting your baby fall off the bed what’s the problem?

the one time I put my son in a cot it was winter he had a sleeping bag on appropriate for the weather, I woke up to check on him and he was blue because it was so cold, I nearly died of a heart attack I grabbed him out and had to hold him skin to skin to warm him up, cot was never used again after that LOL

don’t worry about what family/friends think, it’s your baby you are taking care of your baby, feeding, changing , worrying being the mum your baby needs stuff everyone else

Tractordiggerdump · 15/05/2022 21:29

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas Hurrah!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page