What age would you take children to a funeral?

[RandomName130]

Just that really? I’m talking the funeral of a very immediate family member heavily involved with your DC.

Every age. I wouldn’t consider not taking them.

@RandomName130 Oh really?! Sorry I’m deliberately trying to keep it relatively vague as it’s outing. I’m talking a child under 2 years old. I have had another immediate family member come at me very very upset after I suggested that my young child would not be attending.
Im not sure how much of the reaction to put down to grief or if I’m being particularly unreasonable to not take a child so young.

This is such a personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer. Personally at my dads I didn't take my 1 Yr old to the church just the wake, my sister took her 8yr old but he didn't come to the grave part and her younger 2 only came to the wake too. My cousins 2 were around 10 and 14 and they both came.

Yes, I’d take them. Sit near the back and take them out if they fuss (or deputise someone else to do that if it’s eg a parent).

But funerals are family occasions, so I would include all of the family in them.

sorry for your loss x

If I could get a babysitter I wouldn't take children that wasn't able to sit quietly during the service. Maybe from 5 up depending on how close the deceased was to me.

Family funeral I'd take them at any age.

Any age.

I didn't take DD to my mum's funeral, I was too upset and there is no way I was in the mindset to a)keep it together so DD didn't watch me losing it or B)want to do any of the running around after her I would have ended up doing

I think from school age so they can get closure. Prior to that age I don't think they'd understand and it would have just been extra stress looking after a 2 year old and they wouldn't have got anything from it.

I took mine at age 2.
I got someone tut tutting at me about it afterwards back at the house, but I'd come over from a different country for my family members funeral & this judgemental person wasn't even a relation 🤷‍♀️

I have a two year old and I wouldn’t take them if I could avoid it. I would want to focus on the service and with my toddler I just know I wouldn’t be able to, in fact I would be outside looking at sticks and stones.

I took my DD when she was eight, but she got upset when her grandparents started to cry and I needed to take her out (it was her dad's side of the family and a young cousin in particularly difficult circumstances though).

It really depends on the child, the relationship, what type of service it is, if theres anyone else to help you etc.

I didn't take my 5 year old to her great grandma's funeral because she didn't know her well and probably just would have been confused. If it was the funeral of someone whom she was close to and would miss, I would take her for closure and probably 2 year old as well. I think you have to decide for yourself I'm afraid.

Every age. I wouldn't want them to miss a chance to say goodbye. My parents didn't take me and I regret it.

My dad went aged 3. She didn't find it disturbing. She coped very well and I'm sure the family member would have wanted her there.

• DD sorry

Yes I agree with the majority here, any age is fine. It can be lovely (particularly for older relatives) to see younger members of the family there. But it is a personal decision based on family dynamics, the child in question etc.

What are your concerns?

Also just to say I would maybe take my cue from the chief mourner(s) on this if you're really not sure what to do.

Last family funeral, I took a 1 year old and a 3 year old. The closest relative of the deceased wanted them to be there, so they were (and were better behaved than I'd expected, but not silent). I would ask the 'lead' mourner and do whatever they'd like at that age.

My DD has been to the funerals of 3 grandparents starting at age 5. The first one a lady from the Sunday school ( that MIL volunteered at) came and took her to do some art and craft at the back of the church - more to stop her being bored rather than her seeing people distressed. I think it was very sweet of her Apart of the death of children which may be different I consider funerals family occasions and I don’t understand the belief in excluding children from them.

For my grandma I took my 4 month old. My brother took his 14 month old. My my 7 and 4 year old cousins came to my grandpa who died a few years beforehand. I wouldn’t consider not taking a child to be honest, I can’t think of a single age where a child attending would be inappropriate.

We took our 2.5yr old to my MIL funeral. It was completely fine. All the grandchildren came actually. They ranged from age 2-18. They were all well behaved in the church, and played together at the Wake.

It's entirely personally. My dgm died when dds were 6+ 8, they didn't go to the funeral but tbf they weren't that close to her. Their dads dgm died two years later and dd10 went. My dm died a few years ago and ds was 4 he didn't go to the funeral. I was about 12 the first time I went to a funeral.

When my grandad died, my dc were 2 and 8, they didn't go to the service but came to the wake.
When my two grandmother's died in the same year they were 8 and 14, they came to the service and wake.
When my mother died last year they came to both too.
Close family, I think is fine, maybe just the wake though for a two year old.

I have been to other funerals, of people they knew, neighbours and friends and haven't taken them at all, as a sign of respect to the bereaved family.

I would not take a child that age to a funeral , it's not fair on the other mourners , people are pretty sensitive at that time . I would not appreciate it