What was the worst and best thing about being a new parent?

[toastedcat]

Just that, really. I'm due June 13th.

I keep thinking I'm sort of ready for it and then panicking massively when I realise that life is going to change so dramatically!

However, one thing that I'm hoping might work for me is that I'm very happy being at home -- I work from home, I'm used to a quiet lifestyle (Covid shut socialising down and then I never really got back out there because we moved out of London).

I'm hoping that, because there won't be a huge transition into spending a lot of time at home, the transition might be okay?!

Anyway, let me know what your best and worst parts of the first few months were...

Worst things were being sleep deprived, sore bits and it taking ages to leave the house, best was getting to snuggle with my darling baby all day, being their favourite person in the world and watching them grow.

Worst IMO is the hormones and feeling all over the place. And maybe the loss of spontenaety. You can't just say oh yes I'll pop along to that thing my friends are doing, oh I'll run to the shop. You have to get the baby ready and bring them with you and then you can only go to baby appropriate places.

Best is the lovely baby snuggles/watching them grow. If you haven't heard of the fourth trimester, I recommend reading about this now. It was really helpful to me to go in with this perspective.

Worst is sleep deprivation and loneliness.
Best is the snuggles. Top tip: if you're breastfeeding pretend baby's still feeding when they're actually asleep so you don't have to do anything

It's amazing watching them grow and develop and they'll astound you every day!

Definitely sleep deprivation. It is so difficult to manage, nothing can prepare you for it.

Worrying! Always checking baby because it’s all new and you have this realisation this tiny baby is depending on you for it’s safety and you have to know what your doing even if you have never even held a baby before!!!

Worst part was to the toilet for the first time 😭 and the increase of forehead wrinkles! Best part, I've made a new best pal and she's made me so much more sure of myself! Also the smell of newborn babies heads is the best

The best bit for me was the time at home, just ds and me snuggled up when he was newborn.

And then nice relaxed baby groups and activities. Doing something each day, to get out and about.

Worst bit was dealing with unwanted advice from my mother!

The sleep deprivation. Feeling so so tired from the nights and your body recovering.

Worst was the absoloute shell shock of how much your life changes. No one could have prepared me. I didnt even have much of a social life or anything before so it wasnt that, more that you have this tiny baby attached to you all day everyday. My DD cried constantly for months and you could barely even sit down with her. You had to be on all day, walking round, shushing, rocking, stressing she's not slept enough, trying desperately to put them down asleep so you can get a little break but them waking up every, single time.

Im expecting again though, it cant possibly have been as bad as i remember ahah! My 2 year old is now a joy and i often just look at her overwhelmed with just how much I love her!

Oh yeah you'll notice your confidence rocket - especially once you start socialising with baby - because it's about them now, not you.

The best bit is staring at them all the time in the early days after they've been born. Totally entranced!

Sleep deprivation.
Breastfeeding hurt like hell for a bit (luckily after perseverance, and nipple shields second time round, it became completely painless and rather lovely).

Just the relentlessness of everything.

Conflicting advice.
Colic with my first.

Lovely things are you have a lovely baby to cuddle and watch them grow up. There's nothing like it!

With DC1, worst part for me was breastfeeding and best part was watching films alone at home whilst contact napping. She used to have lovely long contact naps once she'd finally passed out after all the screaming.

With DC2 obviously not a new parent and it has been different. Worst part has been navigating family life with so much illness this time round - both DH and DD got tonsillitis when DC2 was only a few days old, I also had a very long protracted painful recovery from birth, an unrelated surgery when DC2 was a few months old that didn't heal as it should have, and there's just been an endless constant stream of illness between the 4 of us ever since they were born, which has been really stressful and hard to manage with no support from anyone else. Best part this time round is seeing the bond between the two DC.

Yes @BenjiCat 💕

Worst thing : the initial weeks of adjustment when you don't know the next time you're going to get a decent amount of sleep. This, added to the weeks and weeks of post-birth discomfort.

Best thing: there was a dawning moment of realisation (it just hit me randomly one day after recovering from a difficult birth) that right in front of you is a little extension of you - a human being that you created. YOU are the centre of their world. It's hard to verbalise, but it fills me with a joy I had never experienced.

Definitely being sleep deprived and not being able to do things when you want, like take a shower or bath. With my second baby I went to bed at 9 pm every night same time as first child, this made a huge difference when baby was born as he was asleep every night at 8 pm.

I'm with @jaguarjoy in that I can split it more into time - worst for me was the first 4 weeks where there is almost zero interaction because they are just too small, essentially you are just keeping them alive! Best was getting that first proper smile (they grin a bit with wind but when you get the first proper one it goes all the way to their eyes) because it hit me they were a real person that knew who I was and loved me

Good luck!

Sleep, or lack of.

nothing else comes close

Oh my gosh I completely disagree that there is no interaction with an under 4 week old! They are so amazing at that age. They have only just been born, they know nothing, they don't even really understand they are alive but they are already curious. The way they stare at you like "I know your voice and your smell...kind of? What are you?" It's so incredible to see them experience things like light and wind and music for the first time ever. Such a special time. Smiles are nice. But nothing comes close to newborns.

The worst thing is the sudden rush of hormones and for me not really taking enough time to allow myself to feel then that makes sense.
The best thing is that gorgeous little baby. It really is just that. Their little face, their little arms, the way they look at you. Looking at your baby and feeling so much love. It really is the best thing and feeling I've ever had!
Just make sure that you look after yourself as well. It doesn't matter if you bounceback or not. It just matters that you give your body chance to heal and process and settle down. It really is so important that you give that to yourself because if you don't you will just end up feeling really overwhelmed like I did with my first.
♥️

I didn't have much sleep deprivation. The worst aspects are: it's very very boring. You go from being Tuliplover to X's mum. It's like you did not have a life before - all your new acquaintances will only know you in the context of being a mother.
Your baby will probably not gurgle quietly in the corner while you get on with stuff - they are fairly portable and happy to go along for first 18 months, then suddenly its 'entertain me' during their waking hours.
But childhood is the easy bit. Physically draining yes, but the psychological aspect of having teenagers can be off the charts stressful.

Worst part

• it is unrelenting, but that gets better
• sleep deprivation
• with dc2 every single activity I signed up for (to give me a structure) was cancelled because of lack of intetest. I ended up making a website because I was so frustrated.

Best part

• people talked to me! I live in rural denmark and was friendless. My mother group from dc2 is great and we still meet regularly.
• the absolute cuteness of babies. Their chubby little thighs and gorgeous faces.
• the kindness of strangers is astounding

Best thing was the rush of love and protectiveness - it really is amazing.

Worst thing for me was how I had to think of someone else literally all the time. I'm not a selfish person (I hope!), but it was a real shock having to think about whether the baby would need a feed/nap/clean nappy etc even if I just wanted to pop to the shop to buy milk!

Best is just loving this little baby and the cuddles.
worst is the sleep deprivation and the amount of time spent alone with baby; although maybe with working from home you’ll be more used to it. I found it quite tricky going from spending all day with adults to mostly me and baby.

Best: soft baby hair and skin, cuddles, little baby clothes, when you feed them in the middle of the night and it's like you're the only two people awake (this feeling goes after a few months 😆), when random people tell you how gorgeous your baby is even though they look like a cross potato, when you feel a bit better and get to take them out for long strolls in the buggy

Worse: pain, those first poos (yours and babies), lochia, never being able to leave the house quickly, sleep deprivation, dry hands from endless hand and bottle washing, never quite being sure if you're doing the right thing.

I've got two and my favourite thing second time round was how in love my eldest was with the baby. That was adorable.

Best: soft baby hair and skin, cuddles, little baby clothes, when you feed them in the middle of the night and it's like you're the only two people awake (this feeling goes after a few months 😆), when random people tell you how gorgeous your baby is even though they look like a cross potato, when you feel a bit better and get to take them out for long strolls in the buggy

Worse: pain, those first poos (yours and babies), lochia, never being able to leave the house quickly, sleep deprivation, dry hands from endless hand and bottle washing, never quite being sure if you're doing the right thing.

I've got two and my favourite thing second time round was how in love my eldest was with the baby. That was adorable.