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What was the worst and best thing about being a new parent?

61 replies

toastedcat · 26/04/2022 07:56

Just that, really. I'm due June 13th.

I keep thinking I'm sort of ready for it and then panicking massively when I realise that life is going to change so dramatically!

However, one thing that I'm hoping might work for me is that I'm very happy being at home -- I work from home, I'm used to a quiet lifestyle (Covid shut socialising down and then I never really got back out there because we moved out of London).

I'm hoping that, because there won't be a huge transition into spending a lot of time at home, the transition might be okay?!

Anyway, let me know what your best and worst parts of the first few months were...

OP posts:
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Traumdeuter · 26/04/2022 12:15

The worst: loss of spontaneity. And dread that they might wake up from a nap, or every hour in the night - I couldn’t relax even when they were out for the count because I was on edge all the time.

the best: cuddling them to sleep. Walks with the pram, for hours. Strangers commenting on how lovely they are. Lying on a blanket in the garden in the summer, looking at the sky. The milk-drunk grin when they have fed to satisfaction.

GiltEdges · 26/04/2022 12:21

Worst: Feeling like I'd lost control of my own routine, having to sleep when baby sleeps (or otherwise not at all!), etc.

Best: All the walking. DS was a colicky baby but always settled when out and about in the pram. By the time I went back to work after mat leave I was in the best physical shape of my life Grin

Somuchgoo · 26/04/2022 12:36

Best

Newborn snuggles
When they fall asleep on your and your can watch them
Having time to see friends and go places and freedom from work that I'd never experienced before
Lots of long lunches and eating cake with friends with a snoozing baby in a sling
Watching then develop and grow
Being more rested and more relaxed than for the previous decade (my babies weren't amazing sleepers, but my work was so crazy that in comparison a newborn felt like a holiday)
Maternity leave in summer genuinely felt like a holiday
The portability of newborns. We went out for dinners, parties, concerts etc all with a baby in the sling. Its a short period of the first few months where you can basically be a human kangaroo and just continue with life, albiet taking them with you. They they get older and need more routines and bedtime etc, and social life goes out of the window.

The worst

The occasional messy poo explosion
The way they always poo 5 mins after leaving home, and then instantly want feeding again because they have made space 😂
My youngest went through a few months of crying in the evenings, but we knew that was pretty common and were able to roll with ot thankfully. It was frustrating but tolerable.
How quickly things changed, so once you were getting the hang of one stage, a new one starts. So I felt there was a lot of time learning and not much time being an expert.
Judgement from other parents on EVERYTHING - cloth vs disposable nappies, type of birth, bf vs ff, weaning, car seats, co sleeping, routine vs going out with a baby, sleep training etc.
Friendships often change, especially if you and your friends either are at different stages in life (if you have a baby and they don't) or have different views on the controversial subjects. Youll make new friends, but you may loose some old ones also.

Overall I found it an amazing part of life. If I could be stuck in an endless life loop with newborns, I would!

Ps: my experience is clearly a lot more positive than a lot of people's. Hormones play a part (I was fortunate enough not to even have baby blues let alone PND). Support also plays a huge part - I had a very very involved husband, and very helpful parents that live nearby. And luck of the draw helps - babies with health difficulties, feeding difficulties can make it harder, as do traumatic births. Also, if you are used to a full 8hr stretch of sleep every night, babies will be more of a shock, than when you sleep 4-6 hrs (or less) a night as standard.

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MozzarellaMonster · 26/04/2022 21:37

Best and worse is wanting to protect them it's a lovely feeling to love someone so so much but also terrifying at the same time.

carefullycourageous · 26/04/2022 21:46

Worst: vomit in your pockets (might just be me)
Best: you can watch West Wing, eat maltesers and drink tea ALL DAY and the baby will consider you to be mum of the year and will also never grass on you

CoffeePlease89 · 26/04/2022 22:10

Best:
Staring at your baby fast asleep on your chest thinking how you created that. Smelling and kissing their head. The joy of feeding I've done both ways. The cute outfits. Watching them start to become interactive, smiles, rolling over and the best milestones are months ahead. Being able to watch TV and snack (only with the first mind!). Overwhelmed with pure love. People loving your new arrival. I could go on.

Worst?:
The sheer hell of sleep deprivation. Mine would wake as soon as I put them down and I developed severe anxiety before every single night and every single time I put them down for months. Tongue tie with both. Pressure and pain of breastfeeding. The constant Overwhelming worry of your baby, what it's wearing, temp of room, in the car seat too long etc. Loss of freedom. Loss of friends. Everything takes so long. Same thing everyday all day.

It's a complete emotional rollercoaster. Enjoy it even in the hard times because although it doesn't seem like it now, it goes quick!

abyssofwoah · 26/04/2022 22:17

Worst: Cluster feeds in the early days; sleep deprivation.

Best: Snuggling in and the way they gaze up at you like your their whole world (you are)

Dipsydoodlenoodle · 26/04/2022 22:47

I'm 5 months in...

The best part: every single moment with my baby.

The worst part: sometimes I wish I could just have 5mins (usually when shes being cranky)...however, you have to understand crying is their only form of communication and everything is new. I've totally chilled out about it and I go with the flow. Sometimes I eat at 4pm and other times 7pm...I no longer have a schedule haha.

The real worst part: you can't just nip out anymore, its like moving house the amount of stuff you need.

That said, my worst parts are still pretty good.

Grumpyrainbow · 26/04/2022 23:00

Worst: felt like I lost touch with who I was for a while (PND probably affected this)

Best: the unbelievable feeling of love for your tiny person and seeing them develop and grow is the hugest privilege of my life.

Congratulations OP! You'll be fine. (I told myself when I was in your shoes - if it was that bad no one would have more than one child.!)

Bumpsadaisie · 26/04/2022 23:03

I found pregnancy difficult, I was very sick. So when they were born, the best thing was not being pregnant any more! I was so happy to have my body back, I remember the newborn phase as very happy (if tiring of course). Whatever the challenges it was an awful lot better than the first 20 weeks of pregnancy when I had HG and probably ante natal depression too.

My DH was very relaxed, and so was I, feeding got set up easily each time, we just chilled, held the baby and fed her/him all the time, watched TV and went out for walks with baby in the sling.

The bad things - TMI, but the first post partum poo with a third degree tear - not fun. Not that it was painful but that there was just no way to make it er .... happen! No muscles at all, everything floppy and weak. I got very anxious thinking I would be stuck on the loo for days. But I had lots of fybogel, hot drinks, and squatted, and eventually, it happened. Thank god.

When I had DD (2) and newborn DS - there were some hairy moments when both were screaming and I was standing not knowing how on earth to help them both simultaneously. There were quite a few moments of overwhelm like that!

TBH the worst moments were later on - eg at 14 months, teething molars and about to start walking, so very very frustrated and grumpy. Sleep totally up the spout, waking every hour, and I was back at work then so I had to get up at 5 and go to work meeting two hours away. I sometimes cried with the tiredness. I remember, with DD next to me not sleeping at 3am, well I am not asleep but I AM lying flat, that must count for something, Not fun days! at least on mat leave, you are really tired and sleep is dreadful, but you only have to muddle through.

I think the absolutely lowest point was when DH went away for a week's training course three hours away. Meanwhile baby DS, toddler DD and I had norovirus and my parents were away on hols. There were poonamis everywhere, including one that seeped right through baby DS' gro bag, sheets and right into the mattress, that I had to sort in the middle of the night, once I had sorted that, and finally got him back to sleep, I threw up myself. Finally sorted myself out, at which point DD started howling and had done a poonami of her own all through her toddler bed. I sobbed down the phone to DH and he was all for giving up his course and coming home but I gathered myself in the morning and things looked up.

But having said all that we have thankfully so far been spared any real terrors about our DCs heath or happiness.

Your body will eventually go back to normal, no matter how weak and broken you feel in the early days, just take it easy, and expect it to take time.

The whole thing is an absolute blessing, they are the light of our lives and the apples of our eyes. Enjoy the ride :-)

user12343214 · 26/04/2022 23:53

Worst for me the reality that the freedom I once had will never ever be the same as no matter what it's always tinged with a little bit of worry for my children. I think even when they've family's of their own I'll still worry about them constantly.
The best bit is the love I felt and still feel. It's nothing like the love for anyone else in the world.

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