What’s easier, being a stay at home parent, working full time or working part time?

[3boysandadog23]

Just curious what everyone’s opinion is. Obviously everybody’s circumstances are different but just interested to see if one opinion is more common than another?

I’m a stay at home mum to 3 boys, 5,3 and 6 months and love being at home but equally find it SO HARD at times. Trying to decide whether to go back to work or not. Must be so hard to juggle everything when working too!

They are all hard in there own ways, there is really no need to compare.

I think it really depends on your whole situation. Family support, whether or not you have a partner, financial situation, all of these things I think have a huge impact.

It depends on the person to be honest.

Some people love working, need to work for their mental wellbeing.
Some people hate working, need not to work for their mental wellbeing.

It just can't be quantified objectively.

I will say that a baby wants you with them, not at work. I will say that with confidence without exception too.

I will also say that a family unit with a money earner and a homemaker can be absolutely functional and wonderful, and living it is, for me, an absolute dream, a dream life I never knew I wanted.

It makes total sense. I rear children and work a bit on the side for spends. I focus on my child and my home and that makes me happy.

This could be hell for some people and that's okay for them.

Do what makes you happy and do what makes your child happy. Life is much less stressful when we simply respond to our children's needs. And as mothers I believe this is a wonderful way to live. I mean I had my child, she did not bring herself here. I owe her everything. I owed her breastmilk, sleeping next to me, an education and setting her up for life with values and options.

If a woman can do that as well as work then that's absolutely brilliant. I can't, because I don't want to.

As others have said, whether it's easier or not totally depends on what kind of a person you are and what kind of a job you have/are looking to have. For a long time I've preached the joys of part-time work as without some work I would go insane, but still wanted to have some time with my kids. However recently I must admit I've been finding it very hard to get the right balance. WFH doesn't help. My work is really suffering b/c there's always something domestic to attend to. And then on a big work day I feel my kids miss out because I'm stressed/my focus is elsewhere. So not easy. But in general I still think part-time work is the best for me.

It'll be different for every single parent.

For me, working part time suits (most of the time). We need my income as we live in an expensive part of the country. I work in the charity sector so pay is low and it's taken me a while to build up a reasonable pension pot. I enjoy a challenging and responsible job. It gives us something to talk about and allows us to decompress with holidays, trips etc. and we can afford extra curricular for DC

I've seldom missed a school play, sport day etc

I've worked at my organisation for a long time, and am lucky that I've now got flexibility to swap my working hours/days so I did the odd school trip as a parent volunteer which was lovely.

And I can generally make dentist appts by swapping hours.

It was hard when DC was baby/toddler. We didn't have family childcare so spent a fortune on nursery fees.

When at primary school, we spent another fortune on holiday clubs. But DC enjoyed them. I found school holidays more stressful than term time because there was a constant rush from one place to another, cooking dinner (DD had school dinners tern time), mum guilt when DD's friends were at the park or On spontaneous trips to beach etc.

Now DD is teen, she needs me less physically but more emotionally. I like to pick her up from school so she can debrief on her day.

The downside is that I still have all the housework etc to do when I finish work. I never feel as though any of my time is my own. But I suspect that's the case of the vast majority of parents. And our family income isn't quite what I'd call comfortable do I feel a little guilt that I should be working full time or in a higher paid role to take some of the responsibility off of DH.

Done them all and they are all hard! I'd say best work/life balance I had was in a term time only job

Went back full time when mine was 3 having been full time SAHM and was VERY ready to get back to work!

Worked full time for 2 yrs then dropped to part time for a year which was amazing as mine was at school by that point and I absolutely loved the time to myself.

Back to full time again now.

Part time is the sweet spot!

Snap. They’re all hard in different ways.

I've been a stay at home mum and a part time working mum. Absolutely found working part time the best, I'm sure I would hate full time.

I was verging on depressed by the end of maternity leave. Work FT and wouldn’t consider anything else. BUT (a) that’s me; (b) I earn well (enough to outsource lots of boring stuff); and (c) my DH does his full share and there’s no resentment this way (which began to creep in during mat leave as each of us envied the other!).

I wouldn’t care to comment on other peoples’ set up unless someone is unhappy or leaving themselves very vulnerable.

For me the "easiest" was when I worked 2 long days. I didn't see DC at all those days and anything relating to them was someone else's problem. They'd be in bed just waiting for a story and a goodnight kiss when I got home.

The hardest was probably when I worked school hours. I was "only" working PT, so still picking up most of the home and school stuff, the family didn't appear to notice I went out to work because I was always at home when they were, but I didn't actually have any time during the day

Once I went FT into a job where I had a fair amount of flexibility, that was easier in many ways than school hours.

I wouldn’t want to be financially dependent or to lose my earning ability, so wouldn’t SAH (my DC don’t currently have additional needs or health issues)

working PT worked out well for me homewise but terribly workwise. FT has worked out better overall.

For me personally, the hardest by a million miles would be to become a SAHM. Maternity leave was incredibly hard on my mental health and I desperately missed being at work, so went back FT as soon as I could.

I imagine working PT might offer the best of both worlds for a lot of people, but in the area I work in it would have just resulted in me doing a FT job for PT pay, so was never an option I realistically considered.

I believe some research showed that part-time working mums actually had least downtime.

SAHM is by far the hardest when children are babies and toddlers and home 24/7.

Once they're in school then SAHM is a breeze.

I like working part time. It gives me something else to focus on and I like being able to contribute financially to the household as well as building up my pension and savings, and it also gives me extra days to spend with my DC and get things done before the weekend. I wouldn’t like to work full time.

I’ve done all three and I wouldn’t say any of them is easier than the other but I’m happiest working part time

It's so personal and depends on too many variables to make a blanket statement.

Personally I really like working p/t (3 days) and my husband also works flexibly so we share the remaining childcare between us. This means I also get time to myself during the week.

I would rather work f/t than be at home all the time with a toddler. My mental health would be destroyed within a week!

I found working full time the hardest. Part time was the best as I got to work for myself 3 days a week and I had 4 days a week to catch up on everything else and focus on my kids. SAHM is in between those two. Although it depends completely on your circumstances, full time wouldn't be so terrible if you had family support etc.

I used to be a SAHM for 11 years. Now I work 30 hrs a week, one in secondary and one in primary school. It’s definitely much harder than being a SAHM. 40 hours would kill me and I don’t know how full time working mothers do it.

I would say part time as long as you are working full days and therefore having full days off, rather than working school hours every day.

I currently work full time which I find ok most of the time. I really enjoy my job and find a lot of purpose and enjoyment in it. I also like being out of the house and my routine of listening to podcasts/audiobooks during my commute and doing to the gym or for a run during my lunch break.

I also meant to add that since I went full time I feel DH and I are more equal on terms of household chores and childcare. He has had to take on more school runs, and we have a cleaner. I feel less like I am a general dogsbody picking up all the domestic chores which is how I felt on maternity leave and to some extent when I was part time.

I'm part time and love it.
I don't feel I'm missing out on time with my children, and I also have the stimulation & money from working.
While you have some in school and some in nursery, the childcare is expensive and logistically complicated, whether part time or full time. All the options are hard!
By being part time there are no gaps in my CV (although shower progression than if I had been FT for sure).
I work school hours mostly so yes, not much downtime, I switch straight from one role to another. Personally I love that, but I can see it could be exhausting for others.

I have done all 3 and they're all hard in different ways, there are trade-offs to all of them and there is no right or wrong choice.

Surely it entirely depends on whether the kid(s) are at home with you while you're staying at home?